
Synopsis
A podcast from the QI offices in which the writers of the hit BBC show huddle around a microphone and discuss the best things they've found out this week. Hosted by Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland) with James Harkin (@jamesharkin), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm), and Anna Ptaszynski (#GetAnnaOnTwitter)
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Episodes
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Episode 296: No Such Thing As A Glowing Ballet DancerDuration: 50min | 22/11/2019
Live from Philadelphia, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss crash test moose, radioactive slippers, and the multi-presidential inventor of chewing gum. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
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Episode 295: No Such Thing As A 200m BaguetteDuration: 45min | 15/11/2019
Live from Boston, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Bastard baguettes Saddam Hussein's campaign song, and the first ever criminal to be put in Boston's stocks. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
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Episode 294: No Such Thing As A 15-Hour Working WeekDuration: 57min | 08/11/2019
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss hand-drawn stockings, raccoon-damaged temples, and the doomsday aircraft destroyed by a single bird. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
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Episode 293: No Such Thing As A Sexy Ceiling FanDuration: 57min | 01/11/2019
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss prehistoric sippy-cups, Rasputin's litigious assassins, and the coolest ever publicity stunt. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
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Episode 292: No Such Thing as a Blatant Plug for the Book of the Year 2019Duration: 57min | 24/10/2019
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss four facts taken from The Book Of The Year 2019, including Greta Thunberg's adventurous middle name, the polling station with only one voter, and the worst way to dispose of a speeding ticket. The Book Of The Year 2019 is out now! Amazon:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Book-Year-2019-Such-Thing/dp/1786332019 Apple Books: https://books.apple.com/gb/book/the-book-of-the-year-2019/id1462378633 Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
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Episode 291: No Such Thing As A Quintruple-Cooked ChipDuration: 58min | 18/10/2019
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss marrying chips, geese-rearing astronauts and the restaurant with tables in two different countries.
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Episode 290: No Such Thing As A Winter Fax MachineDuration: 01h30s | 11/10/2019
Alex, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Tolstoy's hat-wearing habits, nuclear-powered icebreakers (literal, not conversational) and how to hack a fax from the moon.
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Episode 287: No Such Thing As Pets In HeavenDuration: 46min | 20/09/2019
Live from Antwerp, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss diamond vacuums, North Korean app stores, and what happens when you give an elephant a gold enema. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
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Episode 286: No Such Thing As A Banana With WifiDuration: 42min | 13/09/2019
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss the invention of ball pits, a fisherman's unluckiest fruit, and how the internet was nearly called The Information Mine. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
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Episode 285: No Such Thing As Giving Birth Up A Climbing WallDuration: 52min | 06/09/2019
Dan, James, Andrew and Anna discuss special mud for baseball, why YouTube was invented, and Brazilian caesarian section parties. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
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Episode 284: No Such Thing As Salty Yeti BonesDuration: 44min | 30/08/2019
Live from Paris, Dan, James, Andrew and Anna discuss odour-analysing t-shirts, New York under meteor attack, and self-pricking porcupines. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
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Episode 283: No Such Thing As A Lost ShadowDuration: 44min | 23/08/2019
Live from Geneva, Dan, James Anna and Andrew discuss selling shadows, exploding aphids and the emerging blimp driving industry. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
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Episode 282: No Such Thing As A Bored ShrewDuration: 43min | 16/08/2019
Live from Copenhagen, Dan, James, Andrew and Anna discuss Bjorn Borg's karate-tennis instructor, singing teachers for canaries, and what happens when a shrew gets brain-freeze.
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Episode 281: No Such Thing As A Chatty CowDuration: 43min | 09/08/2019
Live from Amsterdam, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss how to clean warship guns, the anti-Valentine's march, and interviewing a cow.
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Episode 280: No Such Thing As Permanently Latvian BeerDuration: 44min | 02/08/2019
Live from Oslo, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss medically-induced drunkenness, how to avoid being eaten by wolves on holiday, and what happens if you go clubbing with millipedes.
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Episode 279: No Such Thing As A Backflipping DoctorDuration: 43min | 26/07/2019
Live from Berlin, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss chicken lifeguards, carrot concrete and the most-signed birthday card in history.
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No Such Thing As A Herring-Okapi HybridDuration: 52min | 19/07/2019
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Richard Herring discuss Hitler's feet, greeting hyenas and George III in a house on fire.
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Episode 277: No Such Thing As An Elephant Polo Rider In A SombreroDuration: 40min | 12/07/2019
Live from Stockholm, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Swedish cyborgs, swimming pools for horses, and self-destructing Game Of Thrones scripts.
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Episode 276: No Such Thing As A Ninja With A CatDuration: 41min | 05/07/2019
Live from Gothenburg, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss ninja snorkelling, Spiderman's fall from a traffic light, and waiting at a train station for 120 years.
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Episode 275: No Such Thing As A Squashed MicrobeDuration: 51min | 28/06/2019
Live from Oxford, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss lethal hippopotamus poo, ice cream-making warplanes, and how to avoid upsetting microbes.
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Episode 274: No Such Thing As A Polite BabyDuration: 44min | 21/06/2019
Live from Brighton, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Japanese musical floorboards, how much meat is in a Pepperami, and where you'll find the rudest babies.
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Episode 273: No Such Thing As A Scuba Diver Covered With MeatDuration: 40min | 14/06/2019
Live from Sheffield, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss urine-tasting, relocating entire buildings and the thing that's more painful to tread on than fire.
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Episode 272: No Such Thing As A Non-Judgemental HerringDuration: 45min | 07/06/2019
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss the world's most fashionable accountant, disapproval-based herring migration, and the invention of veganism.
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Episode 271: No Such Thing As A Safe RobotDuration: 39min | 31/05/2019
Live from Birmingham, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss underwater dog treadmills, hitchhiking robots, and the late, late Elizabeth Taylor.
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Episode 270: No Such Thing As BIG SHERLOCK HOLMESDuration: 43min | 24/05/2019
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss the Mona Lisa's wandering eye, coffee cups that grow on trees, and ancient Roman earlobe specialists.
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Episode 269: No Such Thing As Singing The SportDuration: 39min | 17/05/2019
Live from Salford, Dan, James, Andrew and Anna discuss canine height restrictions, finch bite quotients, and the Manchester Of The East.
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Episode 268: No Such Thing As Welsh GuinnessDuration: 48min | 10/05/2019
Live from Dublin, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss miniature miniature trains, bees in mourning, and unholy transplants.
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Episode 267: No Such Thing As Mission Impossible For SlugsDuration: 38min | 03/05/2019
Live from Newcastle, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss superglued frogs, how to get into an Ancient Turkish house, and the Oscar won by nobody.
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Episode 266: No Such Thing As An Innocent Pisces SignDuration: 42min | 26/04/2019
Live from Cardiff, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Comic Sans engravings, nut products with no nuts, and transient jellyfish anuses.
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Episode 265: No Such Thing As A Hole In The BowlDuration: 41min | 19/04/2019
Live from Redruth, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Disney-themed punishment, grandfather clocks, and George Eliot's massive right hand.
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Episode 264: No Such Thing As Bikes In SpaceDuration: 36min | 12/04/2019
Live from Barnstaple, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss live scarecrows, the first ever caravan holiday, and the billionaire with only three things to say.
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Episode 263: No Such Thing As Millipede LipbalmDuration: 38min | 05/04/2019
Live from Cambridge, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss silk-spinning goats, the invention of the scooter, and millipede PR problems.
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Episode 262: No Such Thing As A Man In A Wine BottleDuration: 39min | 29/03/2019
Live from the Eventim Apollo in Hammersmith, Dan, James. Anna and Andy discuss time-travelling swordfish, the actor who reviewed his own plays, and Waddington's cattle semen trading board game.
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Episode 261: No Such Thing As A Chocolate TrainDuration: 39min | 22/03/2019
Live from Uffculme, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss chocolate gramophones, licking your own forehead and Icelandic sheep dating.
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Episode 260: No Such Thing As A Giant War SausageDuration: 35min | 15/03/2019
Live from Aberdeen, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the banning of sliced bread, broken turtle penises and muscly bums.Episode 260 - No Such Thing As A Giant War Sausage
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Episode 259: No Such Thing As FlyagraDuration: 40min | 08/03/2019
Live from Glasgow, Dan, James, Andrew and Anna discuss fly dating, 69ing on American roadways, and predicting the future with asparagus
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Episode 258: No Such Thing As A Brutally Honest Yoga MatDuration: 47min | 01/03/2019
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss plumbing detectives, guinea pigs in the freezer, and the Head of Cybersecurity who's never used a computer.
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Episode 257: No Such Thing As A SquilkmanDuration: 39min | 22/02/2019
Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss kissing hedgehogs, the time on Saturn, and competitive ploughing.
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Episode 256: No Such Thing As A Puddle PhotographerDuration: 43min | 15/02/2019
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss flirty cuttlefish, rooster beer and the best weather for starting a business.
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Episode 255: No Such Thing as a Bouncy AsteroidDuration: 46min | 08/02/2019
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss skimming meteors, snowy bacteria, and incorrectly formatted declarations of war.
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Episode 254: No Such Thing As A Toilet In The CarDuration: 38min | 01/02/2019
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss gingerbread in the toilet, the invention of wing mirrors, and silent movie bags.
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Episode 253: No Such Thing As Dolphins At The United NationsDuration: 45min | 25/01/2019
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss talking NASA dolphins, Robert Louis Stevenson's death and how any parents have a favourite child.
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Episode 252: No Such Thing As The Shark Tooth FairyDuration: 43min | 18/01/2019
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss baby sharks, bankrupt lottery winners, and the city where the streets are paved with used toilet paper.
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Episode 251: No Such Thing As An Accidental GeorgeDuration: 46min | 11/01/2019
Anna, James, Andy and Anne discuss undercover restaurant reviewers, weightlifting cockroaches, and what to pack for a trip on the Orient Express.
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Episode 250: No Such Thing As The Mysterious ChamberDuration: 45min | 04/01/2019
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss demolishing the Great Pyramid of Giza, with the WWF logo is a panda, and psychopathic teenage angst.
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Episode 249: No Such Thing As A Pint Of WineDuration: 37min | 28/12/2018
A compilation of the best deleted bits from the last year of Fish. Happy New Year!
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Merry Christmas from Dan, James, Anna and AndyDuration: 42min | 25/12/2018
Merry Christmas! Here's a bonus extract from the The Audiobook of The Year 2018, available to download. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for more.
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Episode 248: No Such Thing As The Shatner BunnyDuration: 49min | 21/12/2018
Live from Union Chapel, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the world's oldest krill, the £20 million bed, and the Christmas decorations that go up in September.
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Episode 247: No Such Thing As Footprints On The SeaDuration: 46min | 14/12/2018
Anna, James, Andy and Ed discuss whistling oysters, Captain Cook's goat, and King Lear's happy ending.
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Episode 246: No Such Thing As The Worm RevolutionDuration: 52min | 07/12/2018
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Royal Anagrammist, the man from M.O.U.L.D, and Darwin's publisher's not-so-helpful notes.
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Episode 245: No Such Thing As The Very Sexy CaterpillarDuration: 41min | 30/11/2018
Live from Brighton, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the police force made up of criminals, why mice walk so loudly, and the world's first crossword.
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Episode 244: No Such Thing As A FishmanDuration: 01h16min | 23/11/2018
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Stephen Fry discuss frogs with regional accents, Canada's official tagline, and streaking in museums.
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Episode 243: No Such Thing As Jean-Paul Sartre's CrabsDuration: 55min | 16/11/2018
Live from the Union Chapel in London, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss snail backpacks, the band from space, and Alexander Graham Bell's talking dog.
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Episode 242: No Such Thing As The Ancient Monty Python DynastyDuration: 55min | 09/11/2018
Live from York, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss scaring moths out of the sky, Sir Walter Raleigh's improv act, and why a robot would say 'poop'.
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Episode 241: No Such Thing As Tom Cruise In A MangerDuration: 51min | 01/11/2018
Live from Nottingham, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Nativity with celebrities, giraffes with asthma, and chucking hospital patients into a bush.
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Episode 240: No Such Thing As An Easy TweetDuration: 57min | 26/10/2018
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Maxïmo Park frontman Paul Smith discuss banned bananas, earthquake-sensing belts, and the Great Lost Massive Toilet Of London.
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Episode 239: No Such Thing As The Queen MaaaaaaaryDuration: 38min | 19/10/2018
Dan, Anna, Andy and Alex discuss why wombats have the best bums, how to build an extension on a cruise liner and Who Do You Think You Are?'s rejected celebrities.
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Episode 238: No Such Thing As A Low SofaDuration: 41min | 12/10/2018
Dan, Andy, Anna and Anne discuss the world's worst poetry recital, where all the world's hazelnuts go, and the first ever advert on Channel 5.
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Episode 237: No Such Thing As A Closed-Minded TortoiseDuration: 45min | 05/10/2018
Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss facial recognition for chickens, the whales older than Moby Dick, and the European Space Agency's rockin' sound system.
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Episode 236: No Such Thing As A Brie SculptureDuration: 48min | 28/09/2018
Anna, James, Andy and special guest Alex Edelman discuss illegal canoe practices, the funniest poo joke in history and Henry VIII's favourite pudding.
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Episode 235: No Such Thing As Trousers For SpidersDuration: 45min | 21/09/2018
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss how to make spiders less scary, the oldest message in a bottle, and unusual features of the Mastermind chair.
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Episode 234: No Such Thing As The Lemur PoliceDuration: 51min | 14/09/2018
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss earwax grubs, armadillo sex and selfies with sunflowers.
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Episode 233: No Such Thing As A Sexy Question MarkDuration: 55min | 07/09/2018
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Beefeaters' birthdays, Roman ice and metal umlauts.
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Episode 232: No Such Thing As A Seven Foot BondDuration: 40min | 31/08/2018
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss spiders with eyeliner, biblical teeth gnashing, and the sumo wrestler with silicone in his scalp.
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Episode 231: No Such Thing As A 24-Minute PodcastDuration: 27min | 24/08/2018
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss the first ever stripper to jump out of a cake, the Queen of Sweden's business cards, and why holding your breath underwater is cheating.
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Episode 230: No Such Thing As Tinder For SlothsDuration: 39min | 17/08/2018
Live from the Wilderness Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss how the Macarena could save your life, the secret penis code in the Bayeux Tapestry, and the one thing more painful than childbirth (for sloths).
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Episode 229: No Such Thing As The Great ModestoDuration: 42min | 10/08/2018
Dan, James, Andy and Alex discuss gold in the sewers, Robert Burn's homemade ink, and why Sweden's highest point isn't any more.
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Episode 228: No Such Thing As Seatbelts On Your SofaDuration: 34min | 03/08/2018
Not live and not from Bristol, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss indoor hot air balloon shows, McBaseball and what you'll find inside a giraffe's armpit.
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Episode 227: No Such Thing As A More Ambitious Crossover Event In HistoryDuration: 52min | 27/07/2018
Live (partly at least) from the Wellington Opera House, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss how to birth a lamb, the most niche Netflix categories, and Elton John's travel arrangements.
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Episode 226: No Such Thing As A Turtle Painting The CeilingDuration: 49min | 20/07/2018
Live from Auckland, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss painting pants on portraits, why Moscow's politicians don't kiss each other, and how often men really think about sex.
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Episode 225: No Such Thing As An Interesting RiddleDuration: 51min | 13/07/2018
Live from the Sydney Opera House, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss BBC stock orgies, being buried with a chicken and why you might cycle the Olympic marathon.
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Episode 224: No Such Thing As Mixed-Species Martial ArtsDuration: 47min | 06/07/2018
Live from Brisbane, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss spider wrestling, policemen dressed as statues, and Ozzy Osbourne's no-so-last tour.
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Episode 223: No Such Thing As A Worthless DoorstopDuration: 43min | 29/06/2018
Live from Melbourne, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss death by meteorite, the Manhatt-ant and the downhill history of the slinky.
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Episode 222: No Such Thing As A Warmongering PigeonDuration: 44min | 22/06/2018
Live from Melbourne, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss superloud fish sex, taxiing to a war zone and why these facts probably aren't true.
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Episode 221: No Such Thing As A Fully Carpeted CountryDuration: 36min | 14/06/2018
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Alan Davies discuss the street value of football sticker albums, anti-diving shin pads and instructional chat-up pamphlets for Argentinian footballers.
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Episode 220: No Such Thing As A Million DotsDuration: 47min | 08/06/2018
Anna, James, Andy and other James discuss bouliganism, flying on Titan, and tiny, tiny wasps.Episode 220 - No Such Thing As A Million Dots
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Episode 219: No Such Thing As Jeremiah WingdingsDuration: 46min | 01/06/2018
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss cosmetic surgery for Fish, how to get the edge in the Tour de France, and competitive typesetting.
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Episode 218: No Such Thing As Tennis On The MoonDuration: 58min | 25/05/2018
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss cavemen living on the moon, Victorian reaction times, and the mystery of The Mystery Of Edwin Drood.
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Episode 217: No Such Thing As A Trapezium-Shaped HankieDuration: 40min | 18/05/2018
Live from Liverpool, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss bob.com, how to eat an avocado, and what the Ancient Greeks used for toilet paper.
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Episode 216: No Such Thing As A Lobster WarDuration: 39min | 11/05/2018
Live from Perth, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the most annoying man in history, the regretful inventor of the Australian labradoodle, and how lobsters nearly started a war.
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Episode 215: No Such Thing As A Chihuahua Dog Sled TeamDuration: 48min | 04/05/2018
Live from Dublin, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the monumental conception of Victor Hugo, when North Korea is the safest place to be, and why you should bring 600 pairs of shoes to a dog sled race.
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Episode 214: No Such Thing As A Criminal In A Fabulous HatDuration: 38min | 27/04/2018
Dan, James, Andy and special guest Original Elf Molly Oldfield discuss blue whale birthing, ceramic pillows and how to cast for a police line-up.
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Episode 213: No Such Thing As Panda GladiatorsDuration: 46min | 20/04/2018
Live from Reading, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the world's first waterskier, Harvard for pandas, and the the record-holding mat holder called Matt Hand.
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Episode 212: No Such Thing As A Hipster PharaohDuration: 46min | 13/04/2018
Live from Belfast, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss smuggling pasta, the Queen's tri-annual review and the designer chickens of Silicon Valley.
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Episode 211: No Such Thing As A Photograph Of A RiverDuration: 50min | 06/04/2018
Live from Edinburgh, Dan, James Anna and Andy discuss dinner party etiquette for 5-year-olds, ugly American shoes and divorcées falling down the stairs.
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Episode 210: No Such Thing As A Sheep's Bedside TableDuration: 40min | 30/03/2018
Live from Leeds, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss sheep in a lift, the cocktail-endorsing pope, and why the RAF have banned Tunnocks Teacakes.
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Episode 209: No Such Thing As A Sexy Black HoleDuration: 44min | 23/03/2018
Live from Glasgow, Dan, James Anna and Andy discuss denim arson, and why 1p on the ground isn't worth anything.
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Episode 208: No Such Thing As A Female Egg ThiefDuration: 39min | 23/03/2018
Live from Oxford, Dan, James Anna and Andy discuss the man with an egg stuck in his mouth, Lost Wife posters and Edward VII's driving-drink.
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Episode 207: No Such Thing As Harry Potter And The Great OverreactionDuration: 41min | 09/03/2018
Live from Brighton, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss suspended babies, computer-generated sweet nothings, and the man who waters his house every day.
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Episode 206: No Such Thing As A Pig In CourtDuration: 44min | 02/03/2018
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Victorian fern mania, why stripes are a fashion crime and ice golf championships.
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Episode 205: No Such Thing As The Number SixDuration: 52min | 23/02/2018
Andy, James, Anna and Alex discuss ski lift thefts, the world's largest wine cellar and what would happen if all the bacteria disappeared in the world.
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Episode 204: No Such Thing As A Mean ButterflyDuration: 44min | 16/02/2018
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Great Maple Syrup Robbery, a musical Russian invasion and the great Greek god Doris.
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Episode 203: No Such Thing As A Muscular ButterflyDuration: 42min | 09/02/2018
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the secret Matrix sushi recipes, why our skin doesn't leak and butterfly sperm trickery.
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Episode 202: No Such Thing As A Deadly Birthday CakeDuration: 46min | 02/02/2018
Live from Coventry, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss trousers for horses, swimming the Atlantic, and why the inventor of basketball was so bad at teaching it.
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Episode 201: No Such Thing As Lobsters At The Lobster FestivalDuration: 55min | 26/01/2018
Live from Dunstable, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss King Ferdinand's Orient Express phobia, the giant magnet roaming Glastonbury and Foyle's unorthodox method of wartime shop defence.
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Episode 200: No Such Thing As A Jigsaw For The QueenDuration: 54min | 19/01/2018
Live from Birmingham, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the squatting Queen impersonator, misplace nuclear launch codes, and the statue in Belgium commemorating Peter the Great's sick.
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Episode 199: No Such Thing As An Heroic Fire-GoatDuration: 41min | 12/01/2018
Live from Leicester, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss meerkats' inside-out bottoms, California's imprisoned firefighters, and the risk of finding a golf ball in your crisps.
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Episode 198: No Such Thing As Cleopatra Movie TriviaDuration: 52min | 06/01/2018
Live from Up The Creek In Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the dead author under the bed, the first ever sports bra, and Poopy the Ambassador.
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No Such Thing As Wasted Material 2017Duration: 01h21min | 29/12/2017
All the outtakes and deleted bits from Fish 2017. Happy In-between-Christmas-and-New-Year-bit!
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Merry Fishmas!Duration: 39min | 25/12/2017
A special Christmas Day extract from the audiobook version of The Book Of The Year.
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197: Episode 197: No Such Thing As Eurovision For Christmas TreesDuration: 40min | 22/12/2017
A special Christmas episode with Dan, James, Anna and Andy, live from Up The Creek in Greenwich
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196: Episode 196: No Such Thing As Faking The Magic DreamDuration: 37min | 15/12/2017
Live from Wimbledon, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss what makes flamingos pink, Cape Canaveral's dialling code, and the secret dream that lets you keep bees in the mountains.
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195: Episode 195: No Such Thing As A Hummingbird With A Greggs Steak BakeDuration: 38min | 08/12/2017
Live from Manchester, Dan, James, Anna And Andy discuss how much Coke a human-sized hummingbird would drink, the world's first rollercoaster, and American grocery bag-packing competitions.
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194: Episode 194: No Such Thing As An Orange CrocodileDuration: 38min | 01/12/2017
Live from Nottingham, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss green robins, Lenin’s unexpected accent and the Nottingham cheese riots.
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193: Episode 193: No Such Thing As Death By CongaDuration: 47min | 25/11/2017
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss testifying in court through a window, the ant nests made of ants, and book the size of postage stamps.
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192: Episode 192: No Such Thing As A Restaurant Menu For HatsDuration: 44min | 17/11/2017
Live from Cardiff, Dan, James Anna and Andy discuss listening to the radio with your hat on, the useless mating call of the pumpkin toadlet, and salmon-shaped mountains.
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191: Episode 191: No Such Thing As A Cannibal SquirrelDuration: 48min | 10/11/2017
Live from Bath, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Calvin Coolidge's robotic horse, the inventor of email, and the language it's easiest to speak while drunk.
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190: Episode 190: No Such Thing As A Magic Oven For ChimpsDuration: 39min | 03/11/2017
Live from Newcastle, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss British boomerangs, primate rock-paper-scissors, and why the Catalans are so anti-cat.
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189: Episode 189: No Such Thing As A Meringue-UtanDuration: 35min | 01/11/2017
Live from the Cheltenham Literature Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Queen's nickname, the man beaten in a marathon by a tumble dryer, and the anus that is Making America Great Again.
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188: Episode 188: No Such Thing As A Mouth-Propelled Grenade LauncherDuration: 38min | 27/10/2017
Live from Newcastle, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Mo Farah's only Guinness World Record, what's inside a Kit Kat, and how hamsters arrived in the UK.
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187: Episode 187: No Such Thing As An Ant On Its Gap YearDuration: 42min | 20/10/2017
Andy, James, Anna and Alex discuss how to get ants drunk, the stolen cities in China, and The Sound Of Julie Andrews Being Blown Over By A Helicopter.
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186: Episode 186: No Such Thing As Russian Hacking in the Cockroach ElectionDuration: 32min | 13/10/2017
Anna, James, Andy and Alice discuss portable bridges, sneeze-based votes, and why you can't detect magnets with your mind.
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Episode 185: No Such Thing As Scottish SnowDuration: 49min | 06/10/2017
Andy, Anna, James and special guest Cariad Lloyd discuss Unity Mitford's BFFs, how planes (don't) cure deafness, and why you shouldn't eat Scottish show.
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Episode 184: No Such Thing As Dinosaur DiariesDuration: 42min | 29/09/2017
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss snakes that eat snakes, mathematical street performers, and the celebrity most likely to give you a virus.
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Episode 183: No Such Thing As A Bouncy TheatreDuration: 33min | 22/09/2017
Dan, James, Andy and Alex discuss how to drive a submarine, Gainsborough's 6-foot-long paintbrushes, and where 1% of all the world's wood goes.
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Episode 182: No Such Thing As An Auction For Auction SchoolDuration: 33min | 15/09/2017
Dan, Anna, Andy and special guest Jason Hazeley discuss the British Lawnmover Museum, questionnaires for narcissists, how Christie's auctioneers get over their nerves.
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Episode 181: No Such Thing As A Shark Vending MachineDuration: 36min | 08/09/2017
Dan, Anna, Andy and Alex discuss Spielberg's Great White Turd, maverick train carriages and how bird always know when they're in Aberdeen.
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Episode 180: No Such Thing As Playing Snake On A PlaneDuration: 33min | 01/09/2017
Dan, James, Anna and Anne discuss Hitler's Beatles cameo, how lobsters fly, and the most surprising place to find John Goodman.
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Episode 179: No Such Thing As Stare-BoxingDuration: 33min | 25/08/2017
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss mail-order portraits, the first ever Encyclopaedia Britannica, and the country with only five star hotels.
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Episode 178: No Such Thing As A Cup Full Of NessieDuration: 44min | 18/08/2017
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss your amazing expanding liver, the land of ex-presidents, and scientists disguised as mooses...or is that meese?
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Episode 177: No Such Thing As A Barking SpyDuration: 43min | 11/08/2017
Live from the Wilderness Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the invention of crowd barriers, bombs that lecture their victims, and Volkswagen's biggest product [hint: it's not cars].
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Episode 176: No Such Thing As A Communist CaterpillarDuration: 40min | 04/08/2017
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss vomiting caterpillars, quarantined chocolate, and Russian news that's literally stored in the cloud.
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Episode 175: No Such Thing As A Rice Krispie With FeelingsDuration: 46min | 28/07/2017
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss expert plastic sushi artists, the world's first bendy straws, and how fake dog noses help detect bombs.
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Episode 174: No Such Thing As A Manta RayDuration: 45min | 21/07/2017
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss competitive tongue injuring, the popemobile for hire and Bogotan traffic mimes.
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Episode 173: No Such Thing As Symphony For Sizzurp In D MinorDuration: 44min | 14/07/2017
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss weather-forecasting rainbows, Mexico's artistic tax policy and the mandatory Big Book of Tennis Rules.
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Episode 172: No Such Thing As A Cat-a-Cops CartoonDuration: 53min | 07/07/2017
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the police force for dead people, Indonesia's KFC CDs and Chinese mistress-dispellers.
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Episode 171: No Such Thing As A Half-Ape VampireDuration: 42min | 30/06/2017
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the man behind human chess, Agatha Christie's untranslatable book and deceitful camemberts.
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Episode 170: No Such Thing As A Love Potion For A VoleDuration: 44min | 23/06/2017
Anna, James, Andy and Alex discuss stinking ice, smart seeds and the world's greatest fly swatters.
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Episode 169: No Such Thing As Constantly Awake BeautyDuration: 41min | 16/06/2017
Anna, James, Andy and Alex discuss synchronised blinking, the ants the size of foxes, and nocturnal apple-counting robots.
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Episode 168: No Such Thing As Lord CauldronheadDuration: 41min | 09/06/2017
In a special episode covering the 2017 general election, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss policies regarding yetis, the underwater constituency, and (of course) the election in Kenya.
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Episode 167: No Such Thing As Milk From A YakDuration: 44min | 02/06/2017
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the growing Tibetan butter sculpting crisis, how to email a tree, and what to do with the world's hottest chilli (hint: don't eat it).
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Episode 166: No Such Thing As A Courgette In Your EarDuration: 46min | 26/05/2017
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss chicken egg orientation, drawing on your ear drums, and the Georgian garden of celebrity trees.
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Episode 165: No Such Thing As A Spider The Size Of A SheepDuration: 33min | 19/05/2017
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Wright brothers’ first flight, China’s latest speed limits, and why poo on a table may be further away than it appears.
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Episode 164: No Such Thing As A Poo Powered PlaneDuration: 47min | 11/05/2017
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss second-hand spacesuits, Jeremy Corbyn's luxuriant beard, and North Korea's flying taxi service.
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Episode 163: No Such Thing As Too Fast For A FishDuration: 53min | 05/05/2017
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest John Hodgman discuss draining the sea, why the Titanic really sunk, and how most of Britain isn't really in Britain.
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Episode 162: No Such Thing As Catastrophic ShoelacesDuration: 49min | 28/04/2017
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the problem with HMS Victory, the science behind shoelaces and the age-old question of hobnob production.
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Episode 161: No Such Thing As A Magic DonkeyDuration: 40min | 21/04/2017
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the first ever lie detector, a robotic Cleopatra and the world's largest exporter of false teeth.
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Episode 160: No Such Thing As A Sausage JacuzziDuration: 46min | 13/04/2017
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss snail spas, the world's largest porch swings, and the least practical way to wash clothes.
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Episode 159: No Such Thing As An Edible JockeyDuration: 40min | 07/04/2017
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss falcon sex caps, a 73-year-old superhuman swimmer, and the morning routine of a seahorse.
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Episode 158: No Such Thing As A Weasel's FridgeDuration: 46min | 31/03/2017
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the intricacies of Indian washing machines, ghost-hunting in GCHQ and why ferret racing is such a snooze-fest.
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Episode 157:No Such Thing As High-Fiving The BeatlesDuration: 43min | 24/03/2017
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the first ever high-five, an iceberg storage facility in Antarctica and how to put make-up on in space.
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Episode 156: No Such Thing As A Limited EditionDuration: 40min | 17/03/2017
Dan, Anna, Andy and special guest Dr Erica McAlister discuss sperm whale-sized sperm, real-life Home Alone security measures, and why you've never really heard Churchill's famous speeches.
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Episode 155: No Such Thing As Hurricane SchmurricaneDuration: 39min | 10/03/2017
Live from Up The Creek in Greenwich to celebrate the third birthday of the podcast, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the weirdest storm name suggestions, President Johnson's johnson shower and the Old People Forecast
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Episode 154: No Such Thing As A Submarine ShepherdDuration: 43min | 03/03/2017
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the UK's noisiest warships, how glow-worms go fishing and what happened to the world's first cannabis smokers.
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Episode 153: No Such Thing As Mulled Wine At The Dawn Of TimeDuration: 40min | 24/02/2017
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss aphrodisiac sorbet, non-flammable newspapers and the world's Scilliest soccer teams.
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Episode 152: No Such Thing As A Sleepover With LionsDuration: 44min | 17/02/2017
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss self-consuming breasts, eating lions' leftovers, and why we're thirty seconds closer to the end of the world.
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Episode 151: No Such Thing As A Komodo Dragon RestaurantDuration: 38min | 10/02/2017
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss garlic-flavoured chocolate bars, Komodo dragon puberty and and why you don't want to french kiss a frog.
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Episode 150: No Such Thing As A Helium Filled PufferfishDuration: 39min | 03/02/2017
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the bits of Earth on the Moon, venom-swiping slugs, and when Mount Rushmore will finally be finished.
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Episode 149: No Such Thing As The Train King Of EuropeDuration: 36min | 27/01/2017
Anna, James, Andy and Anne discuss boot camp for trains, celebrity camels, and why Shell send sea shells back to the sea shore.
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Episode 148: No Such Thing As A Plummeting MooseDuration: 30min | 20/01/2017
Andy, James, Anna and Alex discuss helicopter dung attacks, Sesame Street's Donald Trump and the best way to cover the smell of urine.
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Episode 147: No Such Thing As Burrito Party BoyDuration: 39min | 13/01/2017
Anna, James, Andy and Alex discuss the unluckiest politician in the world, the elephant on the River Thames, and the best way of getting invited to Buckingham Palace.
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Episode 146: No Such Thing As A Queen OrcaDuration: 50min | 06/01/2017
Dan, James, Andy and special guest Sara Pascoe discuss sympathetic pregnancy, the world's most famous umbrellas and the surprisingly romantic life of coral.
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No Such Thing As A Fish - Extra BitsDuration: 34min | 30/12/2016
A compilation episodes of bits there weren't time for in the 2016 episodes of No Such Thing As A Fish. Happy New Year!
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Episode 145: No Such Thing as E.T. Part ThreeDuration: 32min | 23/12/2016
A Christmas compilation episode in which Dan, James, Anna and Andy take facts from the audiences of Fish's spin-off topical news show No Such Thing As The News.
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Episode 144: No Such Thing As Garlic SupermanDuration: 36min | 16/12/2016
Dan, James, Andy and Alex discuss historical ham sandwiches, edible passwords and why Jupiter is shrinking.
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Episode 143: No Such Thing As Chariots in SpaceDuration: 33min | 09/12/2016
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss placebo pharmacies, Britain's 17th century space program, and the robot that cheats at Rock, Paper, Scissors.
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Episode 142 : No Such Thing As Edward Binbag-HandsDuration: 35min | 02/12/2016
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss aeroplane-chasing bumblebees, spiky penises, and the weighing scales in the Oval Office.
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Episode 141: No Such Thing As Ancient Roman PictionaryDuration: 44min | 25/11/2016
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the wisdom of Wisden, life in an elephant's footprint and why to strive for that 'classic poo look'.
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Episode 140: No Such Thing As Books For Pirate-ChildrenDuration: 44min | 18/11/2016
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss ancient greek bathtubs, badgers on submarines and the logistics of Santa's Naughty and Nice List.
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Episode 139: No Such Thing As A Lobster NappyDuration: 38min | 12/11/2016
Live from the London Podcast Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Evel Knievel's jail time, the complete history of turtle soup, and a telescope too big to use.
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Episode 138: No Such Thing As Fluff IslandDuration: 39min | 04/11/2016
Andy, Anna, Alex and special guest Ed Brooke-Hitching discuss left-handed snails, non-existent islands and the White House press-pit-swimming-pool.
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Episode 137: No Such Thing As Churchill's Secret ParrotDuration: 41min | 28/10/2016
Andy, Anna, James and Anne discuss Coca Cola copycat companies, places where compasses don't work and the dangers of farting on a plane.
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Episode 136: No Such Thing As A Wolf Diving For ClamsDuration: 39min | 21/10/2016
Anna, Andy, Piers Fletcher and Justin Pollard discuss Samuel Pepys's porn stash, boiling swimming pools and a sixty-year-long life hack to owning beachfront property.
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Episode 135: No Such Thing As Queen Of Clean, The Sausage MachineDuration: 44min | 14/10/2016
Dan, Anna, Andy and Alex discuss animal babysitters, supermarket laser tag, and the best party in the history of the world.
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Episode 134: No Such Thing As Sauce For The King Of SwedenDuration: 37min | 07/10/2016
Live from Up The Creek in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss virtual grouse shooting, stolen Van Gogh paintings and what happens after you win a Nobel Prize.
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Episode 133: No Such Thing As Paranoid AntsDuration: 38min | 30/09/2016
Live from Up The Creek in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss ants in frogs, upside-down perception, and the best way to watch a presidential debate.
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Episode 132: No Such Thing As A Creepy Weather ForecasterDuration: 47min | 23/09/2016
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss computer-playing cars, fratricidal kookaburras and what paper was first used for.
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Episode 131: No Such Thing As Walking The Life JacketDuration: 43min | 16/09/2016
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss duct tape for ducks, duck tape for ducts, Duck duct tape and ducks in ducts. And ducts.
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Episode 130: No Such Thing As Train JamDuration: 40min | 09/09/2016
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss toe wrestling championships, the ghost of Arthur Conan Doyle, and trains armed with lasers.
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Episode 129: No Such Thing As Jack The StripperDuration: 37min | 02/09/2016
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss hummingbird capes, spacesuits for ants, and the origin of the ballpoint pen.
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Episode 128: No Such Thing As A Million Dollar BillDuration: 37min | 26/08/2016
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss glow-in-the-dark fungi, presidential putters and reasons for spying your neighbours.
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Episode 127: No Such Thing As 'Carry On Colliding'Duration: 33min | 19/08/2016
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss man-made earthquakes, the world's least favourite font, and how this episode will end up on the moon.
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Episode 126: No Such Thing As A Boy Called BlclintnDuration: 36min | 12/08/2016
Dan, James, Anna and Anne discuss literal sexual magnetism, Olympic races for old ladies, and all the children named after Tony Blair.
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Episode 125: No Such Thing As An Upside-Down Grand PrixDuration: 33min | 05/08/2016
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss forte-pianos, spring-loaded hairstyles, and the not-so-gentle lemur.
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Episode 124: No Such Thing As A Screaming ScreamDuration: 34min | 29/07/2016
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss railroad glow worms, Marx & Spencer, and kangaroos on trampolines.
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Episode 123: No Such Thing As A Molten Lava Football PitchDuration: 36min | 22/07/2016
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss synchronised heartbeats, how to barbecue with lava, and the people who only read Playboy for the articles.
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Episode 122: No Such Thing As A Sticky Shell SpoonDuration: 37min | 15/07/2016
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss holey spoons, the speed of snow and how to get more milk from a cow.
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Episode 121: No Such Thing As The Sword In The Carbon FibreDuration: 35min | 08/07/2016
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss wood-sucking catfish, wizard prison, and Ancient Egyptian butchers.
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Episode 120: No Such Thing As HMS KevinDuration: 36min | 01/07/2016
Live from the Udderbelly Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss houses made for burgling, flimsy warships and graffiti in the sky.
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Episode 119: No Such Thing As 4D SurgeryDuration: 32min | 24/06/2016
Dan, Anna, Andy and Steve Colgan discuss cage-reading, pigeons versus dinosaurs, and the schoolgirl spy from Devon.
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Episode 118: No Such Thing As Dinner On A SpiderDuration: 42min | 16/06/2016
This week Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss wristwatch thermometers, cheat codes for lifts, and glow-in-the-dark vomit.
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Episode 117: No Such Thing As Dr No TeethDuration: 41min | 09/06/2016
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Tim Minchin discuss performing racoons, blue hailstones, and the giant that provides constipation relief.
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Episode 116: No Such Thing As Notting MountainDuration: 45min | 02/06/2016
Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss prehistoric butterflies, secret power stations, and Buddhist robots.
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Episode 115: No Such Thing As A Hummingbird PilotDuration: 41min | 26/05/2016
Anna, James, Andy and Anne discuss alarm clocks in space, ripped-off national anthems and crows holding grudges.
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Episode 114: No Such Thing As A TantrumpDuration: 33min | 19/05/2016
Live from Up The Creek in Greenwich, and filmed as a pilot episode for QI's new BBC TV series No Such Thing As The News, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss elephant polo, robots replacing Royals, and everything that hasn't been discovered yet.
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Episode 113: No Such Thing As A FlycycleDuration: 45min | 13/05/2016
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss underwater tailors, the overlord of all emojis, and the alphabet of the future.
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Episode 112: No Such Thing As A Lego Aircraft CarrierDuration: 36min | 06/05/2016
Live from Edinburgh, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss jet plane catapults, the Hemline Index, and the world’s most expensive toilet paper.
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Episode 111: No Such Thing As Snappedy ChatDuration: 39min | 29/04/2016
Live from the Up The Creek Comedy Club, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss personalised number plates, political sexting and the Queen's weirdest birthday presents.
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Episode 110: No Such Thing As A Dull Post BoxDuration: 36min | 22/04/2016
Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Sara Pascoe discuss underwater postboxes, easily distracted hijackers and the Disney film all about menstruation.
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Episode 109: No Such Thing As A Speared ShrimpDuration: 35min | 15/04/2016
Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Belgian horseback fishing, flattop mountains and the world's first newspaper.
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Episode 108: No Such Thing As Samurai OlafDuration: 40min | 08/04/2016
Live from Glasgow, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss killer shrimps, poo-based space food, and handsome Japanese tear-wipers for hire.
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Episode 107: No Such Thing As Gorillas On The BeachDuration: 39min | 01/04/2016
Live from Glasgow, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss spagnostic pastafarians, mystery pool pooers and the world's first speech bubble.
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Episode 106: No Such Thing As A Six-Tier Japanese Human PyramidDuration: 35min | 25/03/2016
Live from Bristol, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss colour-changing animals, caffeinated mushrooms and fashionable hay fever.
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Episode 105: No Such Thing As Pancakes For PervertsDuration: 33min | 18/03/2016
Live from Newport, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss tweeting chickens, litigious hyenas and peer-reviewed romantic comedies.
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No Such Thing As A Fish: The One Show SpecialDuration: 29min | 19/11/2015
In this bonus episode recorded in the BBC's The One Show studios, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss huge holes, criminal kestrels and how to park a van on Pluto.
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NSTAAF International Factball: South Korea v GhanaDuration: 18min | 26/06/2014
South Korea v Ghana: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the fifteenth and final episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia), James Harkin (@eggshaped) and Alex Bell (@alexbell_) pit South Korea against Ghana to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.
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NSTAAF International Factball: Iran v Argentina v EcuadorDuration: 21min | 25/06/2014
Iran v Argentina v Ecuador: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the fourteenth episode of International Factball - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today in this never-before-tried three-way special, Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia), James Harkin (@eggshaped) and Freddy Soames (@fsoames), pit Iran against Argentina against Ecuador to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.
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NSTAAF International Factball: Greece v JapanDuration: 16min | 24/06/2014
Greece v Japan: The QI Elves in association with www.visitengland.com bring you the thirteenth episode of this No Such Thing As A Fish Factball special - the only football podcast that has absolutely nothing to do with football. Today Anna Ptaszynski (@qikipedia), James Harkin (@eggshaped), John Mitchinson (@johnmitchinson) and Molly Oldfield (@mollyoldfield) pit Greece against Japan to find out which is the most Quite Interesting country.