Taking Control: The Adhd Podcast

Informações:

Synopsis

Since 2010, Nikki Kinzer and Pete Wright have offered support, life management strategies, and time and technology tips, dedicated to anyone looking to take control while living with ADHD.

Episodes

  • ADHD & the Non-ADHD Partner with Dr. Ari Tuckman

    28/03/2024 Duration: 42min

    Over the last few weeks, we have been exploring different topics related to our relationships and how we interact with others. Today, we welcome Dr. Ari Tuckman for a conversation about the relationship dynamic with one ADHD partner and one non-ADHD partner.From the ADHD partner who sees their non-ADHD counterpart as a savior to the frustrated couple struggling to bridge the communication gap, Tuckman explores the full spectrum of experiences that define these relationships. He delves into the emotional challenges that both partners face, offering a tantalizing glimpse into the world of resentment, shame, fear, and burnout that can threaten even the strongest of bonds.But Tuckman's exploration is not just a catalogue of challenges; it's a beacon of hope. He teases practical strategies and insights that promise to help couples navigate this complex terrain, hinting at the transformative power of communication, understanding, and compromise.Links & NotesMore Attention, Less Deficit - Success Strategies for

  • ADHD 600

    21/03/2024 Duration: 56min

    In this special 600th episode of The ADHD Podcast, Nikki and Pete reflect on the show's 14-year journey. What began as a podcast focused on organization has evolved into a what we hope is a valuable resource for the ADHD community. Throughout the years, the show has featured a lineup of incredible and generous guests, including renowned ADHD researchers and experts such as Ned Hallowell, Russell Barkley, and Dr. William Dodson.The podcast's success has also led to the growth of the Taking Control ADHD (TCA) team, with the addition of Melissa, Bryan, and Marian. As the show has grown, so too have Nikki and Pete, both personally and professionally. They've navigated the joys and challenges of raising families, building businesses, and adapting to a changing world.Through it all, the Taking Control Podcast has remained a constant source of support, information, and inspiration for its listeners. As they mark this momentous milestone, Nikki and Pete express their heartfelt gratitude to their listeners and the ADH

  • The Invisible Tightrope: Navigating Parent/Caregiver-Child Relationships with ADHD

    14/03/2024 Duration: 35min

    As we explore the intricate dance between parents, caregivers, and their children, the presence of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) can profoundly influence this delicate balance. Parents with ADHD may find solace in shared struggles with their ADHD children, while facing frustration when their symptoms lead to setbacks with neurotypical children. On the other hand, parents without ADHD may struggle to understand the challenges their ADHD child faces, leading to a cycle of punishment and emotional wounds that linger into adulthood.In families with both ADHD and neurotypical children, the specter of favoritism can breed resentment and anger. The neurotypical child may feel neglected, while the child with ADHD may feel unfairly targeted. At the heart of this discord lies a breakdown in communication.Effective communication requires active listening and the recognition of non-verbal cues. Those with ADHD may struggle to articulate their needs and emotions, while those without ADHD may find it chal

  • ADHD & Empathy with Dr. Tamara Rosier

    07/03/2024 Duration: 51min

    In this week's episode of The ADHD Podcast, hosts Pete Wright and Nikki Kinzer explore the nuances of empathy for those with ADHD. Their guest, Dr. Tamara Rosier, recently presented on "The Unexpected Downside of Empathy" at the 2023 International ADHD Conference. Dr. Rosier, founder of the ADHD Center of West Michigan, explains that while empathy is often seen as a virtue, ADHDers may experience it in a more complicated way.Dr. Rosier outlines three main types of empathy: emotional, cognitive, and compassionate. Typically, employing all three types leads to well-regulated empathy. However, she notes that ADHDers frequently operate at extremes, either overly empathetic or non-empathetic. This imbalance leaves them vulnerable to several "downsides" of empathy.First, ADHDers may experience misplaced empathy, making excuses for other's inappropriate behavior. Second, getting stuck in emotional empathy can lead to empathetic distress and fatigue from taking on too many others' burdens. Dr. Rosier hypothesizes thi

  • Gaslighting & ADHD

    29/02/2024 Duration: 34min

    The popular 1944 film Gaslight brought the insidious behavior known as "gaslighting" into the public consciousness. But what exactly is gaslighting, and what does it have to do with ADHD? We explore this in today's episode of Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast.Dr. Deborah Vinall, author of the book Gaslighting: A Step-By-Step Recovery Guide, describes gaslighting as a pattern of behavior where one person systematically undermines another, typically as a means of gaining control. It goes beyond an occasional contradiction to a consistent effort to erode the other's confidence in their own perception of reality.So, what does this have to do with ADHD? As it turns out, quite a lot. People with ADHD are more vulnerable to gaslighting attempts for several reasons. Their symptoms of inattention, disorganization, and impulsivity are often used by gaslighters as ammunition to undermine their confidence. Being manipulated into questioning one's own memory and perception can then exacerbate ADHD symptoms like confusion,

  • ADHD Never Used to Be This Hard

    22/02/2024 Duration: 36min

    Do you remember when you were young and carefree, coasting through school assignments at the last minute? Or social engagements flowing effortlessly from one to the next? As an adult with ADHD, those days may feel like a distant memory. Suddenly, responsibilities pile up, work seems endless, and relationships require much more attention. What changed?In this episode, we explore why ADHD symptoms often worsen from childhood to adulthood. Turns out, the structured school environment and malleable young brain provided a protective cocoon. Youthful resilience and novelty-seeking behaviors also naturally complemented ADHD traits.But adult life removes those scaffolds. We're faced with open-ended choices, little external accountability, and increasingly rigid thinking patterns. Stress compounds the challenges. Without school forcing new learning, our minds stagnate. Mental elasticity gives way to knee-jerk reactions. Dopamine-seeking behaviors like substance abuse or gambling frequently emerge. It's no wonder ADHD

  • Time Shielding, the Values Calendar, and the Schedule Saboteur

    15/02/2024 Duration: 36min

    We're eager to please, but at what cost? For people with ADHD, saying yes to requests from others often means sabotaging our own priorities. Urgency provides a dopamine hit; the instructions are clear. Best of all, we aren't fully responsible for the outcome. But every time we dodge our obligations to take on extra, we chip away at our future. Before automatically agreeing to favors, pause and examine your motives. Are you truly available or just procrastinating? Will you have to sacrifice critical deadlines to accommodate? Respect your time. Invest in your goals, not just other's. Your needs matter too. Stop self-sabotage disguised as service. Prioritize a future fueled by purpose, not avoidance.We talk about some key principles this week including time shielding for protecting our time from distraction, the values calendar to help align time to our values, and margin for interruption in our schedules. Links & NotesShawn Blanc writing about MarginDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome

  • Everything’s On Fire. Now What?

    08/02/2024 Duration: 31min

    When everything is on fire, how do you escape the flames? For people with ADHD, overwhelm can consume our days in a blazing mess of forgotten tasks, ignored priorities, and competing demands. Like a wildfire swallowing the horizon, the urgent eclipses the important until catastrophe looms. Fortunately, firefighters don't panic in the face of infernos. They methodically suppress the flames by targeting fuels one at a time. We can borrow their approach. Tackle the smallest task first for a quick win. Preserve your critical relationships, health, and finances. Let go of time-wasters that won't devastate. Once the blaze subsides, sift through the ashes and rebuild. Learn from the near-disaster to prepare for the next. With level-headed focus, even the most raging overwhelm can be contained. Don't let the flames consume you. Become the firefighter, armed and ready.It’s possible we’re overdoing the fire metaphor. But that’s what we do on the ADHD podcast... we lean in, even when it’s too hot to handle. Links &

  • The ADHD Tax

    01/02/2024 Duration: 31min

    The ADHD Tax is real—and it's costly. A recent poll found over half of people with ADHD lose over $1000 a year to fees, fines, and forgetfulness. We call them ADHD Taxes: late bill payments, expired food, unpaid subscriptions. Benjamin Franklin said nothing is certain except death and taxes, but ADHD Taxes are optional. With planning and habits, we can eliminate these penalties that drain our time, money, and self-esteem. ADHD may be lifelong, but the taxes don't have to be. Learn to stop the cycle and keep that currency—money and time—in your pocket. The cost of a ADHD Tax? Your peace of mind. The gain from ending it? Priceless!Links & NotesDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (02:39) - Become a Patron! Patreon.com/theadhdpodcast (03:35) - The ADHD Tax GPS is Now Open! Visit https://takecontroladhd.com/gps to learn more and take control of your planning today! ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

  • Getting Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable

    25/01/2024 Duration: 26min

    This week on Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast, Pete and Nikki explore what it means to be uncomfortable and why that's not always a bad thing. The inspiration for this topic came from Melissa reflecting on a step in the GPS process where members review past experiences with strategies and tools from the previous week. She wondered whether it was the tool/strategy that wasn't working or if it just felt uncomfortable because it was new. Melissa asked if we're giving up too quickly on new things by saying they don't work for us when maybe we haven't given them enough time.So, what does it mean to be uncomfortable or outside your comfort zone? Dictionary definitions describe it as feeling unease, awkwardness, distress or lack of confidence. Many ADHDers regularly feel this way, and these are feelings we try to eliminate with new strategies. So why stick with a new system if it brings up the same negative emotions? There’s a bit of a sidetrack around systems with acronyms that can distract from the real effort, al

  • The Antidote • A Book Talk Episode!

    18/01/2024 Duration: 35min

    In "The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking," you're introduced to the unconventional notion that the pursuit of happiness might actually lie down a 'negative path.' Oliver Burkeman invites you to consider embracing life's uncertainties and insecurities, challenging the prevalent culture of positive thinking. Overly optimistic mindsets, he argues, can lead to a denial of reality and set you up for greater disappointment. The book delves into the idea of "negative capability," encouraging you to become comfortable with ambiguity and resist the urge to hastily resolve doubt.Burkeman guides you through the Stoic philosophy, which emphasizes controlling what you can and accepting what you cannot. He introduces you to the concept of negative visualization, a Stoic practice of contemplating the worst to temper anxiety and build resilience. This conversation also takes you through the paradox of control. Burkeman illustrates how accepting failure can be a conduit to success. He challenge

  • Four Thousand ADHD Weeks • A Book Talk Episode!

    11/01/2024 Duration: 35min

    In his provocative book Four Thousand Weeks, author Oliver Burkeman confronts our culture's obsession with productivity and efficiency. He makes the case that with a limited lifespan of around 4,000 weeks, our pursuit of packed schedules and perfect work-life balance is ultimately futile.Burkeman urges us to embrace the unchangeable reality that our time is finite. Only by accepting our human limitations, he argues, can we focus on what matters most and live with intention. Rather than desperately trying to find more time, we should recognize that time management is impossible. Every moment we gain elsewhere means a sacrifice of something else.Confronting the brevity of life is daunting but also liberating. It allows us to pare down our priorities, say no to less meaningful activities, and zero in on how we truly want to spend the days we have. Presence becomes more important than productivity. With mortality as a guidepost, we can live each moment more purposefully.The book is an enlightening take on time, w

  • ADHD and Our Mental Models for Making Decisions

    04/01/2024 Duration: 46min

    It's season 28 and we're kicking it off with a look at how we make decisions. See, we all have models through which we see the choices before us. We decided to start this series with a look at some of the acknowledged mental models around decision-making to help us create a vernacular we can use to discuss how our brains are impacted by choices in our lives and our ADHD.Mental models are bite-sized, condensed views that help us understand ourselves and the world around us. We explore various mental models that can both aid and hinder our decision-making, such as the tendency to want to do something, confirmation bias, hindsight bias, overgeneralizing from small samples, social proof, and opportunity costs. We discuss the importance of using these models with caution and not relying on them entirely for decision-making. Join us as we explore these fascinating concepts and gain insights into how our biases and tendencies can influence our choices.Links & NotesDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00)

  • Falling Back Into Your Systems

    14/12/2023 Duration: 41min

    We’re having so much fun talking about planning that we’re sticking with it another week! And this time, it’s all about what happens when we fall off the wagon. How do you stand up with courage and strength and admit you’ve strayed from your system? How do you face the flood of email when you get back from a well-earned vacation? We’re digging into the tools and practices that will help you get back in the saddle and shake the shame of the struggle along the way!Links & NotesDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (02:34) - The ADHD Conference Report! (08:58) - Sponsor: TextExpander (11:52) - Coming Back to Planning Systems ---Join the Declutter Challenge!The January 2024 ADHD Declutter Challenge is now open for enrollment! Join a community of people on a 31-day mission to reduce clutter and start the new year with a fresh new view by visiting https://takecontroladhd.com/declutter. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

  • Habits & Routines Vital to Planning: An ADHD Listener Q&A

    07/12/2023 Duration: 58min

    We're talking about planning again and we're taking on your questions! Getting started, long-term planning, making transitions, and even AI tools are on deck for this week's show. The big topics: How do you get started planning when you haven't done it? How do you plan to plan? Struggling with personal deadlines? What if you’re struggling to make plans more than a few weeks ahead of time? How do you plan for things that don't have concrete goals? What do I do during transition time? AI and how do I use it? So... why TickTick? Links & NotesDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (04:14) - Support the show: Become a Patron at Patreon.com/theadhdpodcast (07:14) - How do you get started planning when you haven't done it? (11:35) - How do you plan to plan? (16:13) - Struggling with personal deadlines (23:25) - Struggling to make plans more than a few weeks ahead of time (29:27) - How do you plan for things that don't have concrete goals? (34:09) - What do

  • “Finished, For Now”: Planning, Overwhelm, and Motivation

    30/11/2023 Duration: 42min

    Pete’s in the hot seat this week as Nikki walks through a listener question of the motivational variety. For reference, here it is: “When we have a plan of quadrant two tasks, important but not urgent, it is impossible to focus on those at all if there are ANY quadrant one tasks... urgent and important... unresolved. What’s interesting is that you might think, sure ... do those. They’re urgent and important. But the problem is that maybe you’ve done your part on them. You’re waiting for an email response... you are time-blocked from doing anything about it because a store isn’t open... something like that. It’s unresolved, AND you can’t do anything about it, AND you can’t focus on anything else that is on your list that would move other projects forward as a result.”There’s an emotional yo-yo at work here, and you can bet there is a healthy dose of limiting beliefs. But there is also a very real connection between this attachment and the ADHD brain. Nikki walks Pete through an exercise that aims to make this

  • Why Planning Systems Fail

    23/11/2023 Duration: 43min

    On this week’s show, Pete and Nikki break down how to create and implement planning systems that work with the ADHD brain.“There is not a perfect calendar, planner or task manager for ADHD,” notes Nikki. “What matters is that you build trust and consistency with your chosen tools.” They start by addressing common misconceptions about finding the “right” organizational system. As Nikki explains, no one tool determines success - only your willingness to use it consistently builds planning skills. She cautions against getting distracted searching for a flawless system. What matters is finding tools that fit your workflow and building habits around using them daily.What causes so many to abandon their carefully chosen systems? They share the psychological traps that sabotage trust in planning tools, from perfectionism to learned helplessness. They discuss how forgetting to use the system consistently or failing to personalize it to your needs also hinders success. Tune in to gain insight into why your tools may b

  • Overcoming Motivation Challenges with ADHD with Dr. Tamara Rosier

    16/11/2023 Duration: 58min

    In this week's episode of Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast, hosts Nikki Kinzer and Pete Wright interview Dr. Tamara Rosier about motivation and ADHD. Dr. Rosier, author of "Your Brain's Not Broken," shares insights from her experiences as an ADHD coach and professor to uncover motivation strategies for those with ADHD.As Dr. Rosier explains of those living with ADHD, "There is really no research explaining our success in the modern world." Her book aims to send a "love letter" to those struggling, affirming that "You're okay. And I know it feels hard for you, but you're still okay."The hosts dive into the complicated relationship between ADHD and motivation. Dr. Rosier notes that while ADHD can make people appear self-centered as they struggle to survive, most "are incredibly sensitive" and "heart forward." Pete adds that ADHD allows people to "forget the important things"—like basic needs—while seeking self-actualization. Dr. Rosier agrees this makes success especially difficult, as "easy things are very dif

  • Creating a Joyful Life with ADHD

    09/11/2023 Duration: 42min

    Nikki Kinzer and Pete Wright aim to explore the meaning of joy, the differences between joy and happiness, and practical ways to cultivate more joy in daily life living with ADHD.This episode dives into the essence of joy, including surprise moments as well as practices that help align us to experience joy more frequently. Nikki shares insights from a recent retreat focused on sound, music, and vibrations for generating joy and harmony in life.Key points covered: Defining joy as moments of transcendent happiness sparked by surprise, versus the overall state of happiness. "Joy involves changes in visual perception. Colors seem brighter, motor behavior, physical movements feel freer and easier, smiling happens involuntarily." Happiness as a constant state, while joy represents fleeting peaks within the state of contentment. An analogy: "Happiness is a 100-story building and joy is the elevator that takes you to higher floors briefly." The importance of letting difficult emotions move through you rather than rum

  • On Optimism and Our ADHD

    02/11/2023 Duration: 33min

    The world can be a tough place. We know that our ADHD doesn't make that any easier. But our health and well-being depend heavily on the worldview we cultivate in spite of our challenges. This week, we're talking about optimism, how we find it, and how we make it a practice in the face of struggle. We’ll talk about the things that get in the way of our efforts to feel optimistic like emotional dysregulation, rejection sensitivity, an impulsivity. The thing is, in the face of all those challenges, we’re already wired with our other tools to regain control. We’re generally OK with therapy and strengths-based approaches to wellbeing, for example. So let’s explore mental models that impact us. These include Carol Dweck’s Growth Mindset, Cognitive-Behavioral models, and Martin Seligman’s Explanatory Style theory. That’s the one that has impacted Pete the most this month. For the sound of a mind being blown, listen in. This episode is brought to you by Stimara. Get your next favorite fidget and engage your brain wit

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