Dr Karin Love & Life

Why is My Relationship SO Hard? How Much Work is Too Much Work? Ep. 212

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Synopsis

Unpopular opinion:  Relationships shouldn’t be all that hard. It’s an unpopular opinion because the rhetoric around relationships is that they’re so incredibly difficult; you just gotta dig in and not give up. And yes, once we’ve committed—when we’re married, and we’ve taken vows, and there might be children involved, of course I believe in persevering and sticking with it. As we move through struggles we can—and do—deepen our intimacy. We can emerge stronger after a period of difficulty. So, this isn’t about bailing out the moment things get tough. Rather, I’m talking about the relationship phase of dating—when, as we talk about a lot on Love & Life—we’re gathering information about our partner and determining if we’re a fit. And, what often happens, and what I ended up doing myself at times—we make the mistake of committing too much in the exclusive phase. i.e. we act like we’re married when we’re not married. We keep sticking with a relationship that’s not working and try soooooo hard to make it w