The Mating Grounds Podcast

In this episode of Helping Joe, Charlie and Tucker break down Joe's recent first date and why it was awkward for him. They go deeper into why Joe doesn't like playful teasing and can't bond with male friends. Joe and Charlie open up with stories about past awful experiences where they were attacked (not teased) by their friends. Tucker gives Joe 2 key takeaways to recognize his ineffective thought patterns and behaviors. Joe also gives an update on a talk he had with the girl he is dating.

This episode is the beginning of a preview of our upcoming book, Mate: Become The Man Women Want. In this series, we go over each chapter in the book, explaining what's in it and what to expect.  In the first part of this series, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils explain how this book came about, why they decided to write it, and why men need to read it. 

In this Q&A, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils explain how being a minimalist or financially independent and spending money on experiences are attractive to women but being cheap is NOT attractive. What matters is being generous with what you do have, which doesn't just have to be money or possessions. 

In this Q&A, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils explain how most men misunderstand vulnerability, why your emotional needs as a man are valid ("We're not just walking penises."), and why women actually love emotionally open (but not emotionally unstable) men. They also give small steps you can take to start practicing vulnerability in your everyday life.  For more on vulnerability, start by reading Daring Greatly by Dr. Brene Brown, the best book out there on the empirical research. And go listen to the Helping Joe series where Joe is vulnerable in a non-needy way about problems in his life that many men have but few ever talk. 

This week on Helping Joe, Tucker and Nils call Joe out on his bull***t and question what his mating goals really are when his actions and priorities do not line up with what he says he wants. They go on to explain how to have a relationship talk, why people self-sabotage, and why it’s difficult to actually do the work and change to have the life you want and the women you want.

If you date the same type of crazy woman over and over again, the problem is not them, it's you. In this Q&A, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils explain how to recognize crazy or bipolar women and avoid them. They also talk about why this caller has a pattern of beign attracted to them and if therapy is needed.

In this Q&A, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils explain why high school, ages 15-18, are the worst years for men and dealing with women. It's important to keep this in perspective: it's normal to feel frustrated and your best years are ahead of you. We cover this in more in depth in our What Men Need To Know episode. 

In this Q&A Tucker Max, Dr. Geoffrey Miller, and Nils Parker poke fun at a caller who is looking for a way to absolve himself of his absurd narcissism and ridiculous lack of self-awareness. The words he uses signal problems in his mating life that start with him. They explain where and how to start fixing them (similar to our other narcissism Q&A). On a more serious note, they answer his question of how to balance competing factors (ex. looks, intelligence, personality, etc.) when seeking a longterm mate.

In this week of Helping Joe, Tucker and Charlie talk about Joe's awful room. They dig into why he was sleeping in a closet, how his favela of a room is a reflection of how he thinks about himself, and why this is so unattractive to women. They go on to talk about having basic self-respect, why men have trouble connecting with their emotions, and how society doesn’t teach men how to express their emotions and discourages them doing so. Tucker also tells a funny story about how the Queer Eye For The Straight Guy dudes tried to makeover James Gandolfini.  *The woman in the opening clip is Charlie’s girlfriend’s reaction when she went over to Joe’s place to evaluate his room and help him improve it. 

In this episode of Bad Advice, Tucker explains how repeated failure, getting rejected over and over again, actually destroys your confidence. This is absolutely NOT how confidence works. You build true confidence only through success and demonstrated performance. We have talked over and over again about the research on confidence and how this works on past episodes. 

In this Q&A, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils strongly advise that this caller break up with his girlfriend if he already has not because there are so many red flags in his call. Her behavior is not normal girlfriend behavior. They also explain how to set normal boundaries with a girlfiriend in a relationship, including ways to bring this up and talk about it. 

In this Q&A, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Dr. Perilloux explain the benefits of dealing with a low-level health problem and why women would be attracted to a guy who overcame that problem and changed his life for the better.  They've said this in past episodes: Having a serious disability can be an advantage in mating if you get everything else right and are honest about it upfront. You can become an effective hero or resilient survivor which are very attractive.

On this episode of Helping Joe, Joe talks about his funny improv show and dives deeper into why he has trouble taking genuine compliments from others. He gives the guys updates on the girl he likes from improv (It didn't go well) and the girl he has been dating and having sex with (This was better). Charlie Hoehn and Tucker Max give Joe advice on how to recover and get a girl interested in you again, how to last longer in bed, and how to have the medium-term / casual relationship talk. 

This week on Helping Joe we split a longer episode into two parts. In Part 2, Tucker and Charlie talk to Joe about how humiliating rejections from women can get stored in the brain as war trauma. They repeat Joe’s Two Rules for going out and the right way to tease girls to have fun. Joe gives an update with the girl from improv (see Episode 17), and he plays an awful audio message that he left her. Tucker also talks about how Joe can get over situations Joe he is afraid of. 

In this Q&A, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils explain how every guy at some point in this life has had trouble with premature ejaculation. It is nothing to be ashamed about because all men have been through this, especially at younger ages. They also give many techniques and exercises to avoid coming too quickly and have better sex. Dr. Miller recommends She Comes First. 

In this Q&A episode, Tucker Max and Dr. Geoffrey Miller explain why this is the wrong question to ask and give a better question (“What are my goals?”) to ask yourself so you can figure out where you want to go and what obstacles are in your way. Tucker gives an example from his own life about how he achieved his mating goal through psychotherapy, and Dr. Miller talks about how to reach out to your family for help uncovering your emotional blind spots. They also share advice on finding a good therapist if you really need therapy. 

This week on Helping Joe we split this long episode into two parts. In Part 1, Joe talks about updates from past dates, Tucker Max and Charlie Hoehn comment on his progress since beginning the podcast, and they dig deeper into his sex shame issues. Joe finally has sex but comes too quick (premature ejaculation), which is the opposite physical problem of his previous issue with getting hard. Tucker explains how this is even possible and gives Joe a few short-term fixes to help with this, including how to find out what she likes in bed. They also talk about one big difference between guys who improve and get better with women and those who don't. 

There are no do-overs in life. In this Q&A, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils explain how this older caller needs to be honest with himself about who he is and where he is in his life to still attract and date great women. Lowering standards a bit and expanding criteria for a mate can greatly increase your dating pool. What matters is finding happiness with someone you are suited for, not someone you wish you had found when you were 28. They also explain where and how to meet women that are a better fit for an older guy. And see our past podcast episode on what older men should do to attract younger women. 

In this Q&A, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils list cities that are great mating markets for men and explain how a mating market is much more than just a city's male:female ratio. It depends on many other factors like your mating goal, your interests, what type of woman you are looking for, her interests, and more. 

In this Q&A episode, Tucker Max, Dr. Geoffrey Miller, and Dr. Carin Perilloux talk about how it’s unusual to be best friends with an ex and that future girlfriends will be worried about this. It’s best to be upfront with why you are friends because the research says most men want to have sex with their female friends. They explain how to move forward with a new relationship while still being friends with an ex and how to talk about this with your next girlfriend.