Help Wanted

Reggie's relaxing these days contemplating men's messy sheets and painting perfect fingernails. Valerie adopted a kitten that might be named Vincent and received a shoulder tap from a stranger on the street who wanted to inform her about her height. Shame is a normal, but icky feeling. Regina has tips for getting over shame. One way to get rid of it is to talk that shit out. Share your feelings. Give it attention. Tell someone you trust. More than likely that person has experienced that same feeling and it will disappear. Brene Brown says that secrecy, silence, and judgement are what shame needs to exist. Valerie talks about EMDR therapy as a technique to get to the root of our shame and change negative beliefs locked in our nervous systems. Plus Wheatsville Co-op is our safe place during the Trump administration. This is Us is apparently a good show. This episode sponsored by Skype Cave, the best way for baby boomers to Facetime their loved ones. With Skype Cave parents can finally stop searching for darkene

Reggie and Valerie deconstruct the the doomy, gray, rainy, and white inauguration. And the jazzy, colorful, and diverse women's marches in Austin and around the world! Valerie marched beside a sweet 76 year old woman named Val who offered her Skittles and Werther's. Because that's what women do in the Trump Era. Regina doesn't believe in phone cases. Who has 4 thumbs and overthinks? Both of your Help Wanted hosts! We talk about the reasons we overthink: we've been conditioned to, we're fearful of being "wrong," and we often have too many choices. Regina talks about not worrying about "wrong" decisions but trusting that we have the ability to maneuver and course correct. Plus the story of St. Thekla, who ditched her fiance to take a vow a chastity, a pretty feminist thing to do way back when, wherever saints lived. This episode sponsored by Kittens! Grab a pussy while you try to protect your own. 

Valerie's new thing is Korean sheet masks. Reggie's starting off 2017 with a freer schedule and training sessions. We discuss the mysteries of the calendar and why we all have other people's events on it. Comedian and performer Tim Brewer talks with us about relationships and how and when to define them, dropping the L-bomb, break ups, and the secrets women may reveal in the way they kiss. He shares the story of how he got together with his wife—a story with twists, turns, a renunciation of faith, some bands Valerie's never heard of, and a raccoon-infested Wes Anderson-type house. Plus a trip down memory lane to a simpler time, called the early 2000s, on a show called Sex and The City, when Carrie Bradshaw wore Aidan's whitey tighties. This episode is sponsored by Desk Sandwich, a snack that seems not that great anywhere else, is actually not that bad while scrolling through your Facebook feed, reading depressing stories on Politico during your lunch break. 

Feminist filmmaker Juani Begood joins Help Wanted to chat about rape culture. What is it and how pervasive is it? We chat about how women minimize their own rape experiences, how partners can be supportive, and why talking about sexual assault is so important. This is perhaps the most overshare-y episode of Help Wanted to date. Lots of talk of unwanted jacking off and compulsive VHS masturbators. The world is divided into 2 kinds of people: those who have tonsils and those who don't. Plus Valerie is sad post-surgery, keeps visiting an orange tabby kitten at the shelter but can't commit to adoption, and would get her bathroom remodeled if she had one million cajillion dollars. Reggie's jotting down her gratitude and wants to have neighborhood cul de sac parties. View Juani Begood's work at juanibegood.com.

Valerie and Reggie talk NYE, surgery, and share clips from some of their favorite episodes of 2016: bathroom etiquette, imposter syndrome, settling (with guest Wyatt Tall), comparison, and vulnerability (with guest Lauren Cohen of Hope and Humor Therapy) and polyamory (with guest Jessica Taylor). Plus buttery nipples and dirty hospital floors. 

Performer and comedy writer Joseph Tran joins Help Wanted to tell us how best to engage in controversy over social media and how to shut down a fight. We chat about fake news, why people are so much more apt to get a tiff over Facebook, and Kanye West (note this episode was recorded before he met w/Trump). This episode sponsored by Forever Young Face Cream, specially formulated with the semen of John Stamos. 

We chat with Ali Thompson, a comedian who's used to pushing the envelope, about people pleasing in Part Two of our "How Not to be a Jerkface During the Holidays" series. How much do we do out of obligation and because we want people to like us (even if we don't really like them). Ali shares with us helpful tips and dick moves. We open the episode in a fit of laughter over The Romantic Adventures of Le Petite Goblin, an animated feature voiced by Regina Soto in the titular role of "Little Goblin." This episode is sponsored by Leftover Halloween Candy: it's not old, it's nostalgic of a time when the world still held hope.

The holidays post-election are a good time to practice empathy. Valerie shares tips for practicing and exhibiting empathy (when we're on the phone with customer service people, when people have different viewpoints and you don't want to be an explosive tornado in your personal life!). Reggie, on the other hand, thinks too much empathy can be bad. Also describing yourself as an empath sounds so silly. Like an old married couple, Valerie and Regina missed their one year anniversary last week. Plus former president Bill Quentin, penicillin allergies, shrimp are sneaky tricksters who want to kill us, The Secret, running in the rain, hidden Twitter, and should you go out with a person with a weird last name who's too tall and who said something stupid 4 years ago if they ask you out via Facebook? It's just coffee. Sponsored by plaid shirts, the number one shirt for men of any age. Shirts have been around since the dawn of torsos and plaid has been around since shortly after solid colors. This holiday season get t

Valerie is riled up about Texas' latest abomination against women: the fetal tissue burial law. Regina's going to PF Chang's. Amy Winters, a Krav Maga instructor and the host of the podcast First-Person Fighter, joins us and shares how learning the Israeli self defense boosted her confidence, improved her relationships, and changed her life. She shares her journey from taking a class on a whim to now teaching combatives and self defenses to newbies. Find out how men and women approach classes differently, whether or not mace is helpful, and if steaks actually help swelling. Sponsored by Celebrity White Supremacist, tune in each week to see which celebrity pulls off a white cloak better: Tila Tequila or Stephen Baldwin. 

Valerie and Reggie disclose their Thanksgiving family dramas. Are mashed potatoes and canned cranberries worth the blathering messy fights? Apparently. Regina used the expensive tools she's garnered through therapy to express her feelings maturely to her mother. Meanwhile Valerie forgot altogether that she's ever tried to be an evolved human being. Valerie watched a Lifetime-eaque Christmas-y movie called Angel Sings where Connie Britton is cast in the most awful, non-complex role, but Willie Nelson and bunch of other Austin musicians perform, which was alright. We're joined by Help Wanted pal and comedian Wyatt Tall who talks with us about Lori Gottlieb's controversially titled book "Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough," and all the things we wish we'd known when we were younger about dating. Or not. We talk about deal breakers; Gottlieb advises narrowing it down to 3. Tough stuff. This is our milestone 52nd episode! Thanks for listening vageenas! This episode sponsored by: These Undies, ran

Is happiness overrated? We spend a lot of money and time working toward being happy. But all this happiness seeking doesn't actually mean we will be. Instead of trying to live a happy life, some say we should try to build meaningful lives. This is much more attainable. Also, just because you're happy doesn't mean you'll live and longer and super duper happy people are kind of a drag. Are you unhappy? Reggie has a list of traits that characterize chronically unhappy people. Plus, Diane Von Furstenberg, laughter yoga, Victor Frankel, Carnation instant milk and raw eggs, Noxema, and Thanksgiving relative angst. Sponsored by Fuck It I'm Changing Plans and Boycotting Thanksgiving Travel Insurance, the insurance that recognizes holiday travel is contingent only if you're candidate, the right candidate, the candidate who doesn't advocate white supremacy wins.    

Okay what the fuck. What the fuck happened? What the fuck do we do now? Why the fuck do we have a stress rash? The five stages of fucking grief: denial (no fucking way), anger (this is a fucking joke and I will never fucking accept it), bargaining (bring back fucking Bush/Cheney; I will take 3 fucking terms of Mitt Romney), depression (fucking pizza, fucking starvation, fucking sex, fucking drugs, fucking booze), and fucking acceptance? (not fucking yet, but why the fuck is the media acting like this is normal? This isn't fucking normal? Why are we not taking to the streets?????). We also share what has helped us not fucking slit our wrists thus far.  WHAT THE FUCK???

There are big ways to self-sabotage, and a lot of subtle ways we do it every day: not making decisions because we feel like we have too many options, procrastinating, quitting goals when they get tough, are a few. We have tips to recognize when you're self-sabotaging so you have a better chance at stopping. Plus, the best peanut butter cup is the Reese's Easter version, duct tape fixes everything, and sinuses are scary. 

You know who's present? The Dalai Lama, and it's probably because of his comfy wardrobe choice. Reggie and Valerie get down to business and talk practical tips for how to be present, even when you're overwhelmed with activities or if you have goals and ambitions you're working toward. Plus Valerie has noisy neighbors and Regina learns that one way to a man's , or at least a hot plumber's heart, is through her sewer pipes. Fun fact: flushable wipes aren't actually flushable! Sponsored by Haul-A-Boy, if you're a woman in your twenties in an existential crisis, relax! All you have to do is date an aimless, charming underachiever who doesn’t have a car. Chauffeuring a boy to band practice in your Toyota Camry while he writes song lyrics in the passenger seat is the perfect way to avoid your own goals! You gain a temporary sense of purpose and relief from the anxiety about your life’s choices and he gets a personal car service to meet his buddy Johan at the skate park, without paying for car insurance! Haul-A-Boy!

Lauren Cohen, a therapist with Hope and Humor Therapy, tells us why vulnerability is so important for us to lead full and healthy lives. What is vulnerability? Probably anything that makes you feel "UGH, ICK, EEK" when revealing it. She gives advice for how to be more open in revealing our secret, squishy spots and how to be okay when someone is being vulnerable with us (the horror!). Also there's a difference between being vulnerable and emotionally barfing on someone. She also gives us tips for how to shut it down when someone is being too open with us: tell them "I feel weird for you." This episode is one you'll want to keep in your self-help back pocket. Plus, Reggie's feeling overwhelmed, Valerie has Austin Film Festival recommendations, and fall is kinda finally here! Sponsored by Autumn in Austin, a season of unnecessary scarves and covering with wool blankets despite it still be 80 degrees. 

Uninspired by her job and wanting to experience living abroad, Barbara Beeson joined the Peace Corps and taught math in the Namibian desert during her late twenties. She tells Help Wanted about the bustling bar scene in Namibia, brown bread (apartheid bread?), hitchhiking, and the cultural shifts she experienced in going and returning to the U.S. Also, it's not as hard as one would imagine to find tampons in Sub-Saharan Africa. This episode sponsored by No Man Is An Island Thousand Island Dressing. 

Valerie and Reggie excel at procrastination. There are a million ways we procrastinate. We have tips on how to procrastinate less (remember the satisfaction you feel when you erase something from a whiteboard). Sometimes (sometimes) procrastination can even be good for you. If you get 7 things done while you're procrastinating one thing, well look how productive you are! Regina likes a red accent wall. Valerie likes a red lipstick. Plus Kim Kardashian's misfortune: real or another attempt to break the internet? Reggie's excited about Krav maga and pole dancing, and Valerie finally, finally, finally has a floor and knows how to use an air compressor! This episode is sponsored by Standup Comic Standup Desks!    Resources: How We Procrastinate Why Procrastination is Good For You

Is choosing a childless life selfish? How are we supposed to deal with shame or societal pressures? And do men feel pressure to have kids too? Valerie and Reggie talk about the reasons people choose to not have children with another childless soul: JD. Plus Reggie celebrated her birthday by watching the sexual assault documentary Audrey and Daisy. After months of asking strangers about whether or not she should, Valerie finally cut bangs. This episode sponsored by Faux Kids, the monthly subscription service that transforms single, childless professionals into parents, but only while they're at work. For just $9 a month, Faux Kids will equip you with all the props necessary to fake out your coworkers and convince them you have children.   Resources 25 Famous Women on Childlessness Childless by Choice Why Women Choose Not To Have Children (The Atlantic)

Hispanic Heritage Month runs from the middle of September through the middle of October. Reggie and Valerie get to the bottom of why it exists and what Hispanic heritage is all about: fun facts about Cesar Chavez and the nuances between the terms Latino and Hispanics. Regina wants to be a pole dancer for a second and is not a fan of cilantro. Valerie is into dance regular but can't make a peach pie. Plus Regina and Valerie recount awful foods they've eaten all in the name of codependent lovin. This episode sponsored by Home Warranty of America, the number one home warranty company of North Korean dictators, jihadists, people who fart in TSA lines, and the Kardashian family.

Grocery shopping is a drudgery, but why do we hate it so much and how can we hate it less? Pay more and go to a tiny store, get em delivered, go during an off time (late at night when the parking lot knifers are out), and get to know your market managers! Plus Puffins, eggplants, Costco, and we debunk the myths of Trader Joe's. Regina is drinking a lot of water, and Valerie is on hold with Home Warranty of America. This episode is sponsored by Which Bill, the app that helps you answer the question: Is that Bill Pullman? Or Bill Paxton?