Solid Cat

Solid Cat is back, and right off the bat, let's talk about gay marriage. If you a confused Christian, just know this: it's ok for gays to marry, and religion is not dead, though some are acting like it is. Just listen to us to get some clarity. Let's also talk about the Confederate States of America, where we ask, "Why fly the flag of a losing country that only lasted four years?" From social commentary, we switch to bat guano, women on money, and we feature the first ever Solid Cat Community Calendar. At parties, D-mo and Val are awesomely catty. One guy has saved the lives of two million babies, and rightfully gets this week's Paws Up. And lastly, we learn that D-mo's brain is like the Library of Congress, the world's largest library... after someone has taken a wrecking ball to it. That's the life-force behind Solid Cat!

You wanted Solid Cat, so we're giving you one on the commute home. The word you're looking for is "certified," not "circumcised." It's not illegal to sell golden tickets to heaven, unless you say they're solid gold and they're just painted pieces of wood, that Jesus gave you behind a KFC; and don't forget your baby alligator. FIFA is rife with corruption and their app is lacking in Women's World Cup coverage. As we're driving, see if you can hear where the road improves. D-mo is back in Assassin's Creed mode. The Solid Cat couch is awesome and therapeutic. Since we got home faster than planned, we're now recording from the driveway. We dropped a Kentucky Fried Movie reference (you didn't misread that). Godzilla is now a citizen of Japan. And the Danger Diva hijacks the credits and wails like a banshee. Why not... it's Solid Cat.

This week's Solid Cat is high on culture as D-mo and Val explored the exhibit of the work of J.M.W. Turner (allegedly Britain's most famous painter) that just concluded at the Getty Center. In the art talk, we critique and praise Turner's work, while also learning that Val digs Degas, and D-mo is all about Rubens. You can't talk about art without talking about Ninja Turtles. We look at passion vs. talent, and wrap that bit up with the nightclub at the museum. Elsewhere in this episode, Discovery Channel proves they can troll like a boss, D-mo's chair is extra noisy tonight, and what the hell happened to Neville F'ing Longbottom. England seems to have a hard time keeping track of their dead kings. Ireland earns our Paws Up! Val hates food bloggers, but LOVES a shirtless Thor, and dropped a mysterious Welsh accent. And we end with the question as old as time... who doesn't love fucking donuts? Wait, that's not what I mean.

To start Solid Cat, Val has a giant platypus on her head. Which invariably leads to a discussion about hats at the Kentucky Derby. We have a couple of corrections to make for last week's show. D-mo is in the Another Damn Trivia Show tournament final. Val has an unnatural obsession with Mary, Queen of Scots, which invariably leads to D-mo spending a full 9 minutes talking about politics in the United Kingdom, the United States, and Canada, which invariably leads to Ten Things about VE Day. OtterBoxes are not otterproof. Buy what's left of the Las Vegas Riveria. How to eat cupcakes nowadays. Fun facts about boobs, with a Norma Stitz reference. Big Bird made us cry, a high school boy is promoting feminine hygiene, and D-mo & Val finally saw Iron Man 3... two years later. Sometimes we're timely, sometimes we're not. Standard Solid Cat.

It may the best episode of Solid Cat, and we're all over the map. First, D-mo is baffled by Hinduism. Religion takes us to outlet malls. It was Kentucky Derby day, and despite eugenics (or animal husbandry), horses haven't gotten any faster. The Mayweather vs. Pacquiao was a bit of a snoozer, but the Burger King was there (?). When there is rain in L.A., people panic. We love the Columbia Sportswear Company. We have a sudden Paul Bunyan debate, which leads into the surprising aerodynamics of microfiber cloths. We revisit the tale of the clumsy whore. Val gets up close and personal with a duck, and it wasn't her choice. There are exotic dancers and Chinese funerals. A hologram of Stephen Hawking leads to an ungodly amount of time discussing boy bands. For instance, Rollermania was a legit thing. Mr. Goodbar is featured in the Space Cowboy Kitchen. Clash of the Titans has a ridiculousness too far. Ten Things with Val looks at how our ancestors were mighty perverts. D-mo and Val continue to take credit for Franc

There are some episodes of Solid Cat, where we are cultured and refined. Other times, we're quite crass. No surprises what kind of episode this is. We go from banned underwear to the world's widest tongues to hand jobs while singing karaoke to teabagging to dick pics to ass beads. But first, D-mo gets handed a stranger's baby. You should watch out for the Hand of the Almighty. Speaking of God, we salute the Padres, a priest on the Titanic, and talk about how Edmonton may be hell... albeit a frozen hell. And for kicks, soccer in the Thunderdome. 22 men enter, 11 leave. I'm not sure what to make of this week's episode, but as Val puts it, "it wasn't me, it was the foreskin." Wait, what? Oh, Solid Cat.

It's Spring Break season at Solid Cat. We explain western vs. eastern christianity, which leads to Jewish calendars, which leads to crossword puzzles, which leads to purposeful misspellings, which leads to Under Armour, which leads to Shoe Talk with D-mo & Val. Don't you just love stream of consciousness podcasting? Say hi to Rocket the Rusty Rocket. Killer tombstones need David Caruso. James Van Der Beek is a good-looking man. There is a super brief Michael Sheen retrospective, and we agree that Alan Rickman will always been Snape. Chocolate ganache in the Space Cowboy Kitchen. It's time for the Solid Cat General Apology. D-mo and Val talk about their dreams, and will God smite Val with a plague of baboons? Things that are not cocaine: sno-balls, Mexican Coke, curry, and white lady. Or are they? The credits are high as a kite of Solid Cat!

The Getty Villa, the Griffith Observatory, and El Capitan Theatre... man, Solid Cat is all over Los Angeles. First off, as a good rule of thumb, don't throw a punch at your producer. Depression lies. In 1998, D-mo made Lisa Loeb the Green Lantern; this was favorited by Lisa Loeb herself on Twitter in 2015. Val got kicked in the face; literally a foot to the face. We have fun historical facts about Magellan. Mr. T pities the tool; yes, the tool. Camels go missing in Missouri; they may or may not be gay; Cher may or may not be involved. The Most Interesting Man in the World can't get you out of a carpool violation ticket. What is the "Most Canadian Photo Ever?" We review the new live action Cinderella, and following that up with a review of Greenblatt's deli in the Space Cowboy Kitchen. We play Superfight again on Solid Cat Game Night, and we're sorry for any relationships we may have broken up due to our gameplay. Editors! Do you job! And we end with Val making fun of how D-mo runs. What's up with that? This i

We may be fat, but ain't ugly here at Solid Cat. D-mo loves tenacious pinatas. Zoe is known more for silent terror (she's screaming on the inside). Are nail spas modern-day brothels? We visit the Getty Villa to start a grand tour of Los Angeles. Want to start a conversation, wear a Flash t-shirt. Famous people and people who portray them on film. Will Smith takes us to John Wayne who takes us to Hollywood whitewashing and yellowface, as John Wayne played Genghis Khan in a movie. Yes, that Genghis Khan. Of course, the worst yellowface was Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany's. What is moleology? Heard of urine-repellant paint? We have the world's first penis transplant. In the Space Cowboy Kitchen, we review the ice cream of Milk, on Beverly. At The Counter, they sell a beer float. Yes, bear with ice cream. Let's celebrate the ninja. How awesome would a real-life Studio Ghibli-Land be? Val is like a songbird... or a whore siren (her words). And yes, from Albania to Zimbabwe, Solid Cat is 100 country strong.

Rest in peace, Leonard Nimoy. Val always thought Spock was hot. But we do have a full show of Solid Cat today. Burritos are Mexican food, but breakfast burritos are not. Did Val nail her Oscar pick? Catwoman is bisexual now. Ever wonder what it sound like Val won't let D-mo finish a sentence? We have 5 minutes of it, and in the end, D-mo may not have made his point. Val says her ethnicity is "Freckled-American." Lots of news this week including a belly bounce, backhoes, snooker, stolen log cabins, a terror owl, and drive-by eggings. Solid Cat Game Night returns with Superfight. In the Space Cowboy Kitchen, we learn how to cut a cake, how to pour ketchup from a bottle, and how to eat a hamburger, according to science. From the Dojo, we have perhaps the greatest product review on Amazon. Someone is shipping snow and fun and profit. And then there is a radioactive Loch Ness Monster. Only on Solid Cat.

Hit the lights and sirens, it’s time for Solid Cat! Seriously, what’s with all the cops up in our peaceful, little hamlet? Let’s talk about Aquaman. Sexy, hunky Aquaman; hey, Jason Momoa is a good looking man. HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR! What’s with all the dinner parties we’re having? D-mo says Girl Scouts are getting militant with their cookie sales. Solid parenting tips from Solid Cat. Is topless women throwing mayonnaise a big issue in Belarus? Canadians are not impressed. Premier League chat. #zeromalice Thai Salad in the Space Cowboy Kitchen. Ten Things with Val about the past being utterly disgusting. A gem trader is marrying off fatherless women in India, and it’s a good thing. And we throw in a little Oscar talk, which is funny, because we didn’t see any of the movies. It’s how we roll at Solid Cat!

After two months… SOLID CAT RETURNS! Pro tip: Back up your hard drive onto an external drive. Trust me on this one. The new computer in Solid Cat Studios was more of like a Time Lord regeneration. Happy Valentine’s Day! Val is mildly disappointed that Sherlock and John aren’t gay, and D-mo drops an interesting theory on Moriarty’s return. We talk about Jane Austen for no good reason. Colin Firth looks great for his age; Kenny Rogers looks like a troll. Why was Peppa Pig banned? Carrying a basilisk in your pocket is a flawed idea. We explore fun, yet dangerous, national parks. Can a kangaroo be a service animal? It’ll be “Undie Sunday” in Bakersfield, aka Condorstown, with a 50 Shades of Gray twist. Speaking of, Sexytime with D-mo & Val returns as well this week. And 109 year old guy makes sweaters for penguins, and we try to decide where the cut off is between “horribly dated” and “classic.” You’ve missed us, and we’ve missed you. It’s time to strap on a brand new Solid Cat!

It's 12/13/14 at Solid Cat (unless you live outside North America, then never mind). D-mo was a roofer today... because, rain. Val can't stop yawning. There is no war on Christmas. Wanna put the Christ in Christmas, then feed the poor. You should say "Happy 2015" all year long. Charades are always an adventure. (Correction: Dar es Salaam is not the capital of Sudan as said on the show. It was the capital of Tanzania until 1996. Our bad). High speed cow chase. Not cop chase, a cow chase, though cops were involved. Abby Normal. Then we talk about "the Sexy," with banned sex acts on British porn and we settle Butts vs. Boobs. Sex is like a credit card: you get the enjoyment now, but you have to pay for later... with interest. We have the most offensively name foods on the planet (seriously, what are 6 Faggots in Gravy? It can't be real). In the finish, a Finnish kid is running for office, and Val dusts off the Sailor Moon. Moon Prism Power, Solid Cat!

Happy Thanksgiving from Solid Cat. To start, corporate greed saved D-mo's father's life - it's a heartwarming tale of capitalism. Val transitions this into a discussion of a flat tax, and D-mo suggests we eliminate income tax completely. But then the comedy kicks in. Legos are washing up on beaches. Wolves in France, tigers in China, and Putin on point. There was some Black Friday expeditioning and a lack of turkey leftovers. We have the instant classic of Bing and Bowie. What is a lumbersexual? Val's friend Caryn is our validation for intellectual jokes. And then... there is a turkey reaper, as in an actual turkey in the role of Grim Reaper. Only on Solid Cat.

Solid Cat... the hour long show that always takes 90 minutes. Why did God call D-mo today? Our daughter has rock star hours. Also, her personal library would rival the children's section in most public libraries. Was Marie Antoinette the catalyst for the Industrial Revolution? Was Marie Antoinette a cosplayer? Fun fact: since Solid Cat has been broadcasting, UCLA has never lost to USC in the big game. Coincidence? D-mo really is the Spirit of Aloha. Then there is the Bug-a-salt: it's weird, but awesome. Is Winnie the Pooh of "dubious sexuality"? Someone is blessing the asses of single ladies so they can get husbands. Swedes don't have a word for female masturbation and are working to remedy that. We have the best pick-up lines that don't work. We have bonus content in the Space Cowboy Kitchen and Paws Up! Finally, at the end of the show, Val just loses it. Every once in a while, Val is reduced to a laughing mess, and when she does, it's awesome to behold. And it happened on this week's Solid Cat.

One of our new taglines is: Come laugh, come be informed, come be offended. And boy did we hit all three on this week's Solid Cat. Playing Chutes and Ladders for cash is downright cutthroat. We have been downloaded in 48 of 50 U.S. States (I'm looking at you Alaska and Vermont). We're fun together. Necrophilia and Narcolepsy are two different things; Val has one of them. Razors: whatever D-mo saved in cash, he paid for in blood. Learn how to tie a tie would ya! Pico Rivera is chock full of archers. "Maybe he's the Malcolm Merlyn to my Ollie Queen?" Things that creep the hell out of Val are raisins in baked goods, and spaces between walls. RIP Zoboomafoo. D-mo is also a fashion designer. A pair of apple pie inspired recipes in the Kitchen. Cinnebon Vodka! Teutonic and tectonic are two different things, and a geology joke leads to German efficiency which leads to how Hitler may have been responsible for Israel. What? So after that, let's end with a Dick Tracy movie reference. I await your angry tweets and e-mai

Solid Cat One Hundred! And for some reason, Val said we're like Jesus. Sure, let's run with that. WWD&VD? This show, like all of them, is a crapshoot. Does "shooting the shit" come from plunking cowpies with a squirrel gun? Val is reading the 17th century version of Urban Dictionary... for fun. Holy cow, Sherlock is sooo much better than Elementary. What the hell happened in the Doctor Who finale? Two words: Master Falconer. Butter. The Space Cowboy Kitchen returns. What does Picasso have to do with cupcakes? Know your fundamentals. In addition to doing this podcast for 100 episodes, we were on the radio, real radio, for three years; you'd think we'd better than this. We saw a movie on opening weekend (WHAT?), and we review Big Hero 6. D-mo lets his comic book nerd spill all over the place. We list our Top 5 Disney movies. Val lists the ten reasons you can't get a stiffy (hey floppy guy at the gangbang, listen up). #sniffyourtears Why does D-mo have an unhealthy obsession towards Canada? After 100 episode

It's the start of D-MOvember here on Solid Cat! Valerie had an Oktoberfest birthday and had the first hangover in years. In Germany, they don't have port-a-johns, they have port-a-johanns. Our hummus recipe is pretty damn good. The Charlotte Hornets are back! D-mo loves team apps with local radio feeds. Val thinks Pelicans is a worse team name than Redblacks. WHAT? For the record, it's spelled "umtzz umtzz." Why didn't we tell anyone about Valloween? But let's talk about Halloween. Hot glue is a harsh mistress. The wand chooses the wizard; that much has always been true. The homeless are single-handedly saving the planet via recycling. Mexican Coke is legit. Val says we need to bring back a code of honor, an acceptance of transients, and a much more forgiving nature towards traveling craftsmen. Cosplay has explained a lot of odd things away. We have a record-setting pumpkin. Does D-mo have Low T? Oh, and D-mo just called the Clippers the Kato Kaelin of L.A. sports (I guess, thus implying, the Lakers are the O

We're random, smart, and funny... often at the same time... it's Solid Cat! Solid Cat runs on Dunkin' and other bizarre donut tales. Los Angeles is an eclectic foodie experience and we'll wait for anything. The rust belt is coming back! Sorta. Putin is a macho man, and that leads to a "world class" Solid Cat segue to heroin, gherkins, and garlic. Nobody's a fan of Steinbeck. Vanilla Ice Goes Amish is the most fun I've had watching Vanilla Ice in 20 years. Filled chocolate-chips? Why haven't I heard of these? A True Blood final season recap, loaded with spoilers. What the hell is a Scroguard? From the Dojo, we reveal our best travel tips. Is there a Paws Up for the President? And we close the show with the Space Cowboy ranting against the sun for three whole minutes. She's apparently not a fan. But we know you are. After all, this is Solid Cat!

It's a rip-roaring romp on this week's Solid Cat! (not really, but that's the story we're sticking with) We insist that holidays stay in their own months. D-mo is getting his ass back. There are horns o' plenty. Fish with human teeth? Drunk, cow-fighting pigs? Yes, please. We have some adventures on the Queen Mary. Is Val a medium? We spend the bulk of the show on musicals and movies, including Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, The NeverEnding Story, and the original Muppet Movie. Can we all agree that Dorcas is a horrible name, especially for a woman? Did D-mo compare Kermit the Frog to Doctor Who. And a medically-inspired Ten Things with Val that'll make you wonder how we ever made it. They can't all be winners, especially on Solid Cat.