Border Boss

No you read that right... this band is named Groove.

This week we visit an almost entirely forgotten era of either 4 or 40 bands who, if you were there, will make you immediately and viscerally remember how retched it felt to be wearing enormous jeans in a 105° all ages venue.

This week we head back toward our cozy homeland again with a labelmate of our old band from the long defunct Hater of God Records... New Jersey's own AUTOMATON. Apologies in advance for a bunch of stupid wikipedia lectures, I don't know what's going on right now. Must be dehydrated. Be sure to google D-Composeur after you are done with this one.

This week we compounded so many disadvantages that we needed to bring in an absolute ringer - Chicago Hardcore researcher Dr. Keith walks us through the rocky and uneven pathways toward appreciating and understanding the legendarily authority-smashing and thoroughly un-purchased sounds of MOB ACTION.

Today Mike begins the great pivot toward the filthy lucre and promised boons of the massive audiences that will surely gel around us if we discuss bands people have heard of... welcome to the finally very literal First Seven Inch Club... the opening gambit in our series of meditations on the occasionally awkward and sometimes orphaned debut 7"s by bands who went on to do big things.

Mike realizes he accidentally owns a record that contains reference points and connections to virtually everything the First Seven Inch Club has ever discussed and contains members very close to the FSIC INNER CIRCLE making this a very sensitive doxxing segment but life is short and we're ready to die. Especially because competitive eating got boring and there will never be another "Beherit playing outside a mall" in this lifetime.

This week we dig into Denny's, Jesus, Cheez-its and fighting at shows but it's such a dark time in the West that we decided to look to the East. That's right it's time once again for "how stupid are we at Japanese Google" as we tackle the compounding keyword challenge of 90's Tokyo thrashers CHARM.

Today's episode tackles everything in the First Seven Inch Club extended universe - taco bell lifestyles, joke music, awkward record buying, garfield, the strokes, arts and crafts, all culminating in a discussion of a Boston Hardcore band that usually just gets referred to as a "Boston Hardcore band" whenever they are mentioned online despite sounding absolutely nothing like Slapshot or Negative FX I mean wtf, man... did any of these people actually listen to THE DEDICATION?

To celebrate 50 episodes of more or less being on time, we revisit a Brooklyn Vegan article from early 2022 highlighting 10 hardcore bands they considered viable as the scene's next mainstream big timers. They were rising stars in the dead ass winter... but how will they rank on the First Seven Inch Club Summer Heat Index? https://www.brooklynvegan.com/next-turnstile-10-hardcore-bands-to-watch-in-2022/

We might legitimately become the top google result for this very hard-to-google band. We bring deep content to the web's discussion of late 2000s Chicago hardcore technicians HATE plus the long awaited return of CIGARETTE NEWS which will probably be horrifying and bizarre to non-Border-Boss listeners. Taco Bell chat, Spotify algorithm chat, and Mike innovates a new outro. If we get hit by a bus tomorrow, I'll be satisfied. Not because of this episode or anything, I just think we should get hit by a bus.

This week we talk about TV shows like it's an 1989 workplace then we get HARD POLITICAL so watch yourself. By listener request, we take a sentimental journey to the Albany of the late 80s / early 90s for the soaring-opera-for-dank-punk-clubs experience of the one and only TERROR CAKE. WARNING: We decided on a whim to edit this one in unfamiliar software so if you hear people 3 blocks away eating popcorn and way extra breathing and that's just like... you know... ambient EVP phenoms.

This episode was heavy and I do mean heavy on geography and google maps chat so we brought in someone who used to be local to tell us what all these weird names and numbers actually mean. Certified heavy guitarist SHELBY LERMO helps us get to the bottom of a very early but not at all uncharacteristic record from the very earliest footsteps of underground power-pop sensation TONY MOLINA's path to great fortune. Come on, let's dig the speedy satanic skate-grind of DYSTROPHY together.

Today we examine the early work of some people who went on to become vegan straightedge lifers and, in one case, a minor mall metal celebrity. We also tackle death, brotherhood, and tool mastery. Now that we have cleared up those three topics, there's nothing left for anyone to worry about. Life can just be a warm bath with no pain or fear.

It's an internet comment section where people are arguing about how sarcasm works only it's real life so people are getting punched in the real face and I guess I pretty much just described how fights work except hear me out - while everyone is getting punched, they are preoccupied with internet comment sections. Join us for the irony ouroboros of Philadelphia's nattily dressed provocateurs I HATE YOU.

Today we make the devil's bargain of reviewing a band made up entirely of friends and acquaintances for the first time in First Seven Inch Club history. Hear us sever bonds in realtime and forge hard new grudges even in old age on our puff puff pass journey into the basement venue grow room of long dormant Albany marijuanauts PERMANENT TRIP.

This week we get covered in thick ropey white hot ranch dressing and talk about cinemaaaa before realizing that our Easter promise of a goofy christian metalcore band to DuNk oN is most likely not even remotely christian but they definitely mess with angels and explosions of heavenly guitar heroism. Join us as we battle to see who can doxx Rhode island's DAY AFTER harder.

This week we have an absolutely horrific liveblogged cat food tasting as well as some deeply upsetting Bosstones chat before publicly displaying for the third time how unqualified we are to speak about Japanese hardcore as we mash it up to the woodwind augmented mayhem of Tokyo's COLORED RICEMEN.

Today we finally get the fat skinny on whether Mike was ever actually a boy and also take multiple detours into joke music and horology before devouring the wholesome salad of New Jersey's TORCHBEARER... a band of dangerously modern vintage chronologically but very comfortably 90s vintage sonically.

We get DANGEROUSLY close to modern times with a record that would not even be old enough to get it's drivers license yet - New Jersey's forgotten-by-the-internet PELLINORE. They bring you apocalypse woodcuts, deep comp lit and more... not to mention zine chat, grohl chat, mucky chat... we're 40 today and we brought you EVERYTHING.

This week we unearth a truly scandalous amount of dark web PDFs, sketchy peoplefinder sites, and creepy transcripts to find every private detail of North Carolina posi-core enthusiasm machines REINFORCE and I think as of this posting we will probably become their #2 or 3 google result. Also brief Deadguy "body parts" 7" chat. Buy a shirt, scrubs! We're rich and want to stay that way.