Riders Radio Theater

After landing in Vostrovia and narrowly escaping a shootout led by the doofus Charlie and the Vostrovian marksmen, the Riders fled to the hidden site in the foothills. In an unexpected turn, Sidemeat resorted to a biscuit-throwing rampage that led to an even less expected hole in the earth that swallowed him whole. Is this the end of Sidemeat and ill-prepared meals?! Featuring Montana Blue and the Big Sky Cowboys!

Instead of sending the billion dollars requested by Slocum on behalf of Vostrovia, the State Department has flown Riders In The Sky to the newly formed country. After receiving a crash course on Vostrovia culture and language, the Riders are on a plane en route to provide American foreign aid. Inside the Vostrovian Presidential Palace, Slocum is about to take a meeting with his Chief of Secret Police…

Slocum has taken over Vorstrovia after promising them foreign aid from the United States. Once in power, he established himself as a dictator known as “The Boss,” and made Charlie Head of Police. To keep with his campaign promises, Slocum has sent a request to the US for one billion dollars, which was opened for the first time by Lord Thackston IV… featuring Peter Rowan!

As the space capsule holding Slocum, Charlie and their Russian cosmonaut rescuer was about to float unnoticed to a landing site in Vostrovia, the parachute fell into the middle of the town hall. There, a group was gathered to elect a new leader to guide the country down the long road to capitalism. Recognizing opportunity when it knocks, Slocum wasted no time in making an appealing speech…

Slocum and Charlie, still stranded in space, are out of water, and all food is gone except for two jars of Tang. Fortunately, they are rescued by a Russian cosmonaut; unfortunately, he is also out of food and water. After finishing the jars of Tang, a ravenous Slocum recalls the Donner party’s historic solution and reaches for a lead pipe… featuring Marty Brown!

In the cool of the evening on the famed old Harmony Ranch, the Riders are relaxing on their front porch. But high above the atmosphere, Charlie and Slocum are stowed away and drifting through space in an unmanned space shuttle due to a shutdown by then President Bush…

The great race is underway with three balloons still in the running! Riders In The Sky are sailing over Italy, Slocum and Charlie are soaring over the Sahara Desert, and Sheriff Drywall is still stuck at the starting line. Slocum’s villainous balloon has caught a strong trade wind and is current in the lead, but a balloon in the distance might change their course… featuring Connie Smith!

A huge Slocum-induced disaster on day one left only three balloons in the race! It’s day two of the great race, and now the field is virtually empty. The officials, balloons, and crowds are gone, and all that’s left on the grassy airfield are discarded programs, fallen confetti and one lone balloonist still trying to get airborne…

Famed millionaire John Tipton has offered a million-dollar prize to the pilots to circumnavigate the globe in one, continuous flight. Riders In The Sky need to win the prize to pay off the mortgage on the famed old Harmony Ranch and to fund Miss Marm’s youth center. The race has drawn interest from competition all over the world…including Slocum. On the eve of the big liftoff, the doofus Charlie stands atop a grassy knoll overlooking all the balloons… featuring April Barrows!

A reclusive millionaire with a popular television program in the 1950s has been known to give one million dollars as prize money in bizarre contests of his own invention. Now, semi-retired in a little-known part of the west called Tumbleweed Valley, the eccentric host makes plans for his next millionaire…

Charlie – equipped with a saddle horn cellular phone and the codename “King of Spain” – is following the Riders as they begin digging for the entryway to the Lost Suburb of Gold. After attempting to call Slocum with an update, sun spot activity caused the call to be redirected to Sheriff Drywall, who was still expecting a call from the actual King of Spain. Meanwhile, the Naval force from Port Wiley accidentally armed the previously deactivated atomic bomb and are fleeing for their lives… featuring the Chenille Sisters!

The Riders are on a D10 Caterpillar and en route to the mouth of a cave that they believe holds the entrance to the Lost Suburb of Gold. Meanwhile, a directive has come to Port Wiley ordering the recovery of an atomic bomb which failed to explode in an underground test over twenty years ago. A short time later, the sailors of Port Wiley are rowing across the badlands wishing for a landslide…

High Sheriff Drywall has launched an investigation into the authenticity of Slocum’s Spanish land grant. After calling the King of Spain and being promised a return call, Sheriff Drywall now patiently waits by the phone day and night. It’s just past noon when Ranger Doug and Side Meat arrive at the Dry Gulch Saloon in Tumbleweed City, readying to confront a gloating Slocum… featuring Trudy Fair!

On their way to get a D10 Caterpillar to uncover what they believe to be the entrance to the Suburb of Gold, Riders In The Sky and Miss Marm learn that Slocum has returned to Tumbleweed Valley with a document he purports to be a document giving him ownership of the entire valley. The courts have given the citizens 30 days to prove it a fake. The Riders have split up to deal with both tasks and promise to meet later that afternoon at the Robert Johnson crossroad… featuring Boomer Esiason!

The Riders and Miss Marm, seeking refuge from a storm, camped in the mouth of cave high in the Meatloaf Mountains. While gathering dung for a fire in the back of the cave, Too Slim made a startling discovery: the remains of the legendary Whisperin’ Bill. A short time later over a cozy, dung-burning fire, Sidemeat told the story of the famed prospector… featuring Rob Crosby!

The Riders and Miss Marm have discovered documents in Port Wiley from former Senator Marm just before he passed away, detailing plans to set up a base camp for his exploration in the Meatloaf Mountains at a place called Terror Springs. Despite the ominous name, the Riders and Miss Marm set off at once for the campsite. Meanwhile, Slocum and Charlie showed up unexpectedly at a Tumbleweed Valley Council meeting… featuring Bill Anderson!

The Riders and Miss Marm journeyed to Fort Wiley, the last outpost in the land that nobody wants. But once they arrived to the Fort, things were not as they expected them to be. Perplexed and astonished, the Riders and Miss Marm entered the Fort – now Port – Wiley. After caring for their horses, they were taken to the quarters of Admiral – formerly Captain – A. Weldom Rump Roast…

Slocum and Charlie boarded a plane in Madrid that has just brought them to the Dallas Fort Worth International Airport. Meanwhile, at Miss Marm’s Prune Ranch, Riders In The Sky are telling her about an amazing discovery at the Nixon Presidential Library involving a secret recording and vital clue… featuring Rob Quist!

The troops from Fort Wiley finally emerged from two years of being lost in the bowels of Wolverton Mountain, only to learn that as part of the new administration’s plan to reduce the deficit, Fort Wiley had been transferred to the Navy and is now Port Wiley. The sun is beginning to sink in the western sky as the Riders turn off Melody Highway to Harmony Ranch. Once home, Ranger Doug calls Miss Marm with important news… starring Rob Dibble!

Charlie and Slocum have reunited in Madrid, Spain and have already hatched another big and evil plan. He has forged a land grant from the King of Spain to one of his ancestors and plans to use it to take over Tumbleweed Valley. The duo has snuck into the Spanish Archives to further modify the region’s records, where they have stumbled into a room with a large table, two chairs and two heavily-armed curators… starring Pete Kennedy!