Sunshine Parenting

In Episode 18, I talk with Tom Holland, a camp director and parent of four who has many excellent ideas for parents to teach kids to approach life with wonder and joy, learn leadership skills, enjoy the outdoors, and learn appropriate tech use habits. Tom attended the camp he and his wife Katherine now own, Wilderness Adventures,  as a teenager. There, Tom discovered a passion for adventure and outdoor education. The program led him to get involved in the summer camp industry while in college. An award-winning educator, Tom spent three years teaching social studies at the secondary level before he left the classroom to work at a camp in northwest Wyoming (Teton Valley Ranch). After two years on the team, he was named the Executive Director, a role he held for six years. In 2013, he went on to work for the American Camp Association and held the roles of Chief Foundation Officer and Chief Executive Officer. Known as a leading expert on the camp experience, Tom has spoken at both national and international c

Inspired by this article, as well as my personal connection to her school, I recently got in touch with Corona del Mar Middle School Principal Rebecca "Becky" Gogel to talk about her new phone-free lunch policy, implemented at the start of the 2017-2018 school year. Becky is in her third year leading CDM Middle School as Principal and, together with her teachers and staff, decided to implement the no cell phones at lunch policy after watching students and reading the research. I enjoyed talking with Gogel about how she implemented the program and what the parent and student response has been. This is a must-listen for educators and parents who want to hear about a great way to get our kids connecting better face-to-face during the school day. Kudos to Gogel for leading the way and showing other secondary schools how to implement screen free times and encourage kids to connect face-to-face! Read more about Gogel in her welcome message to families. Read the Los Angeles Times article and view more photos!

In Episode 16, I talk with one of our country's foremost experts on adolescent mental health, Dr. Jess P. Shatkin, about his parenting book, Born to Be Wild: Why Teens Take Risks, and How We Can Help Keep Them Safe. We cover a range of topics about teenagers and parenting, including sleep, social skills, summer camp, being present with our kids, teen decision making, and more. I highly recommend listening if you have 34 minutes! I highly recommend Born to be Wild to parents of pre-teens and adolescents, as well as to school administrators and camp professionals. Shatkin offers important insights about why teens take risks and how parents and adult mentors can help prevent some of the more dangerous risk-taking. The book is based on Shatkin's vast experience counseling, teaching, and working with adolescents as a clinician. In it, he clearly outlines why the current educational efforts on important issues like sexual activity, dangerous driving habits, and alcohol and drug use don't work and how there is a vi

I think it's one of my favorite parts of my job, getting to form these really positive, effective, and fun partnerships with parents. -Sara Kuljis Last week during a trip to Southern California, I had the pleasure of an impromptu visit and Facebook Live session with Sara Kuljis, my dear friend who happens to also be a camp director like me. Sara and her husband Steve own and direct Yosemite Sierra Summer Camp and Emerald Cove Day Camp. Sara and I both have decades of experience working at camp. We both love working directly with our campers and training our counselors, but a big part of our job as camp directors involves working with our campers' parents. And, like all people (teachers, coaches, etc.) who work with other people's children, we have strong opinions about what makes a parent great to work with. Following our conversation, I thought I'd sum up the traits we discussed, because it's always in the best interests of kids for parents to partner with teachers, school administrators, coaches and camp

  In Episode 14 of the Sunshine Parenting podcast, I interview Catherine Pearlman, founder of The Family Coach.  She co-hosts (with her sports writer husband, Jeff Pearlman) The Sports Parent podcast and is author of the recently released parenting book, Ignore It! How Selectively Looking the Other Way Can Decrease Behavioral Problems and Increase Parenting Satisfaction.  We have an enlightening discussion about the book and it's applicability not just to the younger set (toddlers) but to teens and young adults, as well. As I said in the interview, I wasn't sure I'd find this book helpful with my teenage sons, but I already have found success using Pearlman's Ignore It! technique, which is not quite as simple as it sounds. In the book Pearlman outlines the occasions when ignoring behavior is appropriate, how to reengage when the behavior stops, and how to praise and reinforce desired behaviors. I was, of course, happy to hear that Pearlman has vast summer camp experience as a camper, counselor, and director!

"You are to use that [strength] to defend the women in your life against men that are abusing their strength." -Heather Haupt In Episode 13 of the podcast, I'm talking with Heather Haupt about her book Knights in Training: Ten Principles for Raising Honorable, Courageous, and Compassionate Boys. After interviewing Kathleen Buckstaff about her book Get Savvy, reading this book and interviewing author Heather Haupt was a natural follow up. While we want our girls to learn to protect themselves from harm, just as important is raising our boys to be the "noble" men that Buckstaff describes. After reading several books on the topic of knights, Haupt was inspired to use the concepts to inspire her boys. In her research, Haupt discovered that "chivalry is so much more than how a man treats a woman. That was just a small aspect but it [chivalry] was a whole code of conduct and way of living.” Haupt used the principles of a Knight's Code of Chivalry to create a "Knight Training" for her young boys (ages 6, 4, and 3 a

"I've written the book that I needed as a teenage girl." -Kathleen Buckstaff   In Episode 12 of the podcast, I'm talking with author and parent Kathleen Buckstaff. Kathleen and I were classmates at Stanford in the 80s, and we reconnected a few years ago when I learned about this book she had just started writing. We have since shared many lengthy conversations about parenting and educating others on important issues affecting teenagers. Kathleen's new book, Get Savvy: Letters to a Teenage Girl about Sex and Love is a must-read for every parent, educator, psychologist, and camp professional. If you love or work with teens and young adults, please read this book! Kathleen wrote this book intending it for mothers and daughters but is finding that her audience is also including fathers and even two fraternities who are reading the book this summer. Identifying predators' traits, tactics, and tricks is just one important part of Kathleen's educational message for young women. Examples from Kathleen's own experien

What summer camp offers is the opportunity to quite deliberately place them [children] in a very different environment, and if you are careful about that, you can use that summer period as almost a "spiritual delousing." -Ron Lieber In Episode 11 of the podcast, I'm talking with Ron Lieber, author of the 2015 New York Times and Wall Street Journal best-seller The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous, and Smart About Money. Lieber, father of two, has been the "Your Money" columnist for the New York Times since 2008, has a robust community and conversation on his Facebook page and an informative website. Lieber is a sought-after keynote speaker. "Every money conversation is also a conversation about values." -Ron Lieber About the book: "The Opposite of Spoiled is all about how, when and why to talk to kids about money, whether they are 3 years old or teenagers. Written in a warm, accessible voice, grounded in real-world experience and stories from families with a range of incomes, The O

  In Episode 10 of the podcast, I had the pleasure of interviewing one of my favorite parenting and camp experts, best-selling author Michael Thompson, Ph.D. For more than three decades, Thompson has been a clinical psychologist, school and camp consultant, and international speaker on the subjects of children, schools, and parenting. Throughout my career as a camp director, Michael has graciously offered his wisdom, advice and mentoring. I've written about his conference sessions, books, and wisdom in several of my posts, including Homesickness Help and Secondary Homesick: When Your Camper Doesn't Want to go Back to Camp. I continue to learn a lot from Thompson's books and conference training sessions and I highly recommend his book Homesick and Happy to parents who are unsure about whether to send their child to camp. Thompson wrote the book to "remind parents of how lovely it is to be away from home."   Order Homesick and Happy: Homesick and Happy: How Time Away from Parents Can Help a Child Grow Relat

"Everything good in my life is because of camp." Daniella Garran Daniella Garran calls herself a camp "cultist" because she loves camp that much. Daniella has been at Cape Code Sea Camps since 1984 as both a camper and a counselor, and she now serves as an assistant director. In her role at CCSC now, Daniella schedules over 400 campers and oversees the teen leadership program. Daniella loves summer camp so much, she even wrote a book called Hello Mother, Hello Father: Celebrating Summer Camp! The book is a beautiful, hard cover, coffee-table style book that covers the history of summer camps in the United States. For the book, she interviewed campers, staff, and alumni from many different American summer camps. I first connected with Daniella when she was writing the book, and she ended up interviewing alumni from my camp, who are quoted in the book. In Episode 10, I interview Daniella about her experiences at camp, what she learned as a camp counselor, and how she is able to use those skills as a 7th grade

"Sometimes we feel like salmon swimming upstream, but camp has really made us feel comfortable when we've made those decisions that go against the current in our community." -Sally Whipple In Episode 8 of the Podcast, I talk with Scott and Sally Whipple, the owners of three Bay Area (California) camps: Mountain Camp Mountain Camp Woodside Plantation Farm Camps The Whipples share five intentional decisions they've made that have shaped their parenting style: #1 Embrace failure #2 Value authentic, kid-generated work #3 Give freedom of choice & empower kids to make changes when things aren't working #4 Preserve unstructured playtime #5 Limit screen time "All these things are learned skills...it really is a consistent, focus effort over time to give them the time and space to do these types of creative things." -Scott Although the Whipples sometimes feel like "salmon swimming upstream" in their parenting, they are sticking to their unique, camp-grown parenting style! Resources/Related:Episode 7: Family Pace &

“A moderately paced schedule serves our children better.” -Sara Kuljis In Episode 7 of the podcast, I'm talking again with my good friend Sara Kuljis. Sara is the owner and director of Yosemite Sierra Summer Camp and Emerald Cove Day Camp. Sara offers popular parenting workshops in Southern California. One of Sara's favorite workshop topics is about family "pace and space." In the podcast, she explains the research behind why it's important for us to step back and look at our family's schedule and if we're allowing enough time for sleep and reflection. Her worksheet, which you can download here, offers some excellent questions to get you started thinking about your own family's schedule and if you want to consider making any adjustments. Want to listen to our previous episode? Episode 3: Raising Resilient, Independent Kids with Sara Kuljis

“Not WHO you are but HOW you are.” -Erica Jameson   I learned a lot talking with Erica Jameson, the third-generation owner and director of Jameson Ranch Camp, a sustainable, working ranch in California's southern Sierras. Campers at Jameson learn how to take care of animals, live simply, and, as Erica says, "play in the dirt." We covered a lot of topics in our conversation about both her own experience growing up at camp, what she focuses on now at Jameson, and her own parenting. Community/Belonging Erica and I talked about her experience growing up in the close-knit community at Jameson, as well as how she experienced camp being an introvert and stepping out of her comfort zone. “I never felt “lost” because I always had this grounding at camp…” "Camp made me a much 'richer' person and one who values friendships, even across long distances." Being "Underwhelmed" In her own parenting, Erica described figuring out how to be "underwhelmed." In Erica's words, "Being underwhelmed allows me to take everything in an

In Episode 5 of the Sunshine Parenting Podcast, I interview Jeff Cheley, the 4th generation director of Cheley Colorado Camps, a world-renowned summer camp founded in 1921 in Estes Park, Colorado, by Jeff's great-grandfather. Jeff is in his 18th year as director at Cheley and with his wife Erika is parenting three young sons. He has a business degree from the University of Texas, Austin, and serves in volunteer positions at the American Camp Association and with several Denver-based youth organizations. Jeff and I talked about camp, his family, and what he's learned about using the growth mindset. Jeff mentioned several books he's found helpful as both a camp director and father, including:           Jeff also mentioned the following organizations: All Pro Dad American Camp Association Want to listen to a previous episode of the Sunshine Parenting Podcast? Ep. 1: Raising Happiness with Christine Carter Ep. 2: 10 Friendship Skills Every Kid Needs Ep. 3: Raising Resilient, Independent Kids with Sara Kuljis Ep.

  "We want this party to be with all the girls being present and in the moment with their friends." -Ashley, Parent Ashley's Facebook post caught my attention - it was a photo of the text she had sent to the parents of the 22 (yes, you read that correctly, TWENTY-TWO!) girls invited to her 12-year-old daughter's sleep-over swim party. I am sharing Ashley's ideas here so that other parents can decide if a "phone vacation" might be a good idea for a future social event. Perhaps we can start a trend of parents setting limits on screens and media usage not only for their own kids but for other kids they're hosting? As soon as I saw Ashley's post, I shared it on my Facebook page with this comment: "This is an absolutely brilliant way to set limits on phone use for a bday party! HOORAY, Ashley! I highly recommend copying her text for your child's future events -- what about even for when just one child comes over? Until we parents decide to set limits and create space for our kids to enjoy each other and have fun w

In Episode 3 of the Sunshine Parenting Podcast, I interview my good friend Sara Kuljis about raising resilient, independent kids. Sara is a 20-year veteran camp director and parenting trainer who has great insights and ideas about parenting and counseling kids. Sara, with her husband Steve, owns and directs Yosemite Sierra Summer Camp, a Christian adventure camp for children ages 8 to 16 years old founded 44 years ago by Sara's parents Jim and Marna Slevcove. Together, the Kuljises also direct Emerald Cove Day Camp in San Juan Capistrano, a day camp that serves children from kindergarten through 4th grade. Among many other topics, we talk about how camp helps build independence and resilience in kids, as well as readiness for camp, college, and being away from parents and home. Sara shares three great questions to ask kids after a challenging or new experience: 1. What did you enjoy/love? 2. What was challenging? 3. When (not if!) you do it again, what will you do differently? Books Sara and I mention in the

In episode 1 of the Sunshine Parenting podcast, I talk with best selling author Christine Carter, Ph.D., about her book, Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents. We discuss two of the tips from her book, including "put on your own oxygen mask first" and family dinner. We also address a listener question about teaching children how to handle unkind kids. Visit Christine's website at christinecarter.com for more information about Christine's books, online classes, and coaching. I hope you enjoy the Sunshine Parenting Podcast! You can subscribe on iTunes here. Links/Additional Reading: Why Family Dinner is ImportantNo Time for Family Dinner?Sharing our Highs, Lows, & BuffaloesRaising HappinessThe Sweet SpotLiving Life in our Sweet SpotHappiness Habits31 Days of Happiness Hacks

Back in 2012, I wrote about how much I treasure our Family Dinner. That was a precious, memorable year for our family, the final one before our oldest daughter left for college. Now our family dinners include just four of us (myself, my husband, and our two boys), but they are still my favorite part of the day - and often the only time we really talk and connect. The post No Time for Family Dinner? appeared first on Sunshine Parenting.

The Conflict Resolution Wheel I’ve always considered myself non-confrontational and I do my best to avoid conflict. In researching ways to teach kids conflict resolution skills, I’ve discovered that avoidance is actually a choice on the "Conflict Resolution Wheel." I’m primarily a “walk away” or “go play with somebody else” conflict resolver. And, perhaps because I try to “use kind words and a friendly voice” most of the time, I’m able to steer clear of many conflict situations. I know that my technique is not always the best way to resolve conflicts, nor has it worked in every situation, so I’ve learned to “talk together & work it out” with people in my life who are important to me. Because people aren’t perfect and relationships are messy, we all need to learn how to better resolve conflicts. What kind of conflict resolver are you? What about your kids? How do they resolve conflicts? Over my three decades at camp working with thousands of kids and teens, I’ve noticed that kids have become less and les

Before I had kids, there were several things I said I would never let my kids do. Once I was actually a parent, however, many of the “nevers” evaporated in the reality of my day-to-day parenting challenges. My kids did occasionally end up sleeping in my bed, eating fast food, and watching too many cartoons instead of… The post The List: My Best Parenting Tip appeared first on Sunshine Parenting.