The Crate And Crowbar

Chris and Tom S gather under the watchful eye of a seagull and discuss the car horror of Beware, the stuck-to-a-toilet horror of Shin Megami Tensei III Nocturne HD Remaster, and the geometric horror of sorting rectangles in Tetris Effect. Also discussed: in what year we’d happily be trapped, our best and least liked noises, [...]

Alex and Graham discuss 2D platformers… with a twist! Graham punts himself through the magnetic levels of Super Magbot while Alex swims in the inky droplets of Ynglet. Plus, lizard tummies are rubbed in Little Witch In The Woods, and Quake’s 25th anniversary is celebrated via the medium of envying Robert Yang’s talent. To finish, [...]

Marsh, Tom S and Chris look back over the week of E3 announcements, from Giancarlo Esposito’s opinion of dictators, to the reveal of Peter Quiff in Guardians Of The Galaxy, to the onslaught of Left 4 Deadlikes. Also discussed: several dozen other E3 reveals, plus Tom’s new computer ennui, and Chris’s fondness for Chivalry 2. [...]

There’s a logjam down the River Take and Chris and Alex join Tom F to help clear it, smashing through Monster Train, Overboard!, Slipways, Unexplored 2, Necromunda: Hired Gun, Mass Effect: Legendary Edition, Subnautica Below Zero, and Griftlands. Where the river meets the sea, Chris and Alex drown some old games they once loved. Chris [...]

Chris and Graham challenge Valheim’s developers to stop over-hyping ponies, launch Far Cry 6 opinions like missiles from a Katyusha backpack, and definitively answer why people like Warhammer via the turn-based strategy of Warhammer Age of Sigmar: Storm Ground. Valheim’s developers bought a pony. An incredible flex, but why must they call it a horse?Valheim [...]

Alex, Tom S and Graham walk towards the light and enter the hot, sweaty, concrete podspace. Inside they discuss strobing, IGF-nominated art game Kristallijn, the lovingly recreated concrete formwork of Control, and the tiny tug-of-war strategy of Warpips. A Take-Two earnings call revealed GTA5 has sold over 145 million copies.The metaverse is already here, says [...]

Tom S, Chris and Marsh return to the camp castle carnage of Resident Evil Village and form a merry band to rob from the rich and give to the winch in Hood: Outlaws & Legends. Plus: all the latest Branagh news in BranaghWatch. Feel emotions about space in Mass Effect, which is back, legendarily. Stadia’s [...]

Alex, Graham and Tom S salivate over Epic v Apple goss, ponder IGF noms, wander Resident Evil Village, batter Bydos in R-Type Final 2, boggle polys in The Catacombs of Solaris Revisited and brave uwu in Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion. A synopsis of the Epic v Apple suit so far. David Rosen of Wolfire [...]

Graham, Chris and Marsh scout the fractal spaces of Yedoma Globula, snoop on the neighbours in The Flower Collectors, bend extra dimensions in Portal Reloaded, abruptly retopologise in Warzone and poke a post-patch Cyberpunk. Please buy Blood Cotillion and our other stuff! Wolfire games is launching an anti-trust suit against Steam. Official Playstation Magazine is [...]

Tom S, Alex and Marsh are generated by an algorithm to assemble words about fan-made Metroid game Prime 2D, digiperson creator Metahuman, hellish refresh Diablo II: Resurrected, weirdo retro Mr. Do! and cosmic metaphor Genesis Noir. A new trailer for Skin Deep by Brendon Chung (aka Blendo Games). It’s systemic-y Die Hard in Space! Brendon [...]

Tom F, Chris, Alex and Graham debate values of Cuno in Disco Elysium: The Final Cut, hit weak-spots in Boomerang X, are underwhelmed by the underworld of Paradise Lost, somehow tolerate the lore of Ghostrunner and forget the name of Trials of Fire. There’s another one of those games that they do. This one is [...]

Heim! In this mini-pod, Pip and Chris have a chat about their experience of paddling their way towards Valheim’s (current) endgame. Beware! There’s an open discussion of the game’s contents, and that means potential spoilers. On the way we discuss the myriad ‘heim crimes of Philippa Warr, the myriad ways in which Chris stands to [...]

Graham and Marsh enjoy the after-hours delights of shortform curiosity-shopping experience Dépanneur Nocturne and imagine popping Sonic like a balloon in Puyo Puyo Tetris 2. CDProjekt released a company strategy video. Many insights therein. Mexican stand-off generator Subrosa is out in Early Access… again? Still? Shoulda called it Doublecrossy Road. Evocative night-time tchotchke-acquisition simulator Dépanneur [...]

Tom S and Marsh face ghosts and goats in idiosyncratic alpine horror game Mundaun, smash demons apart like satanic pinatas in Doom Eternal, take a swing at Mortal Kombat 11 and murder murders in the latest Hunt: Showdown event. Jim Rossignol and Marsh have together written a one-shot table-top RPG, called Night of the Hogmen. [...]

Tom F, Alex and Graham brawl through dungeons in Curse of the Dead Gods, use vegetables as truncheons in Bloodroots, scavenge for luncheons in Windbound and Valheim, and destroy dry stone walls without compunction in Forza Horizon 4. Stylish and impactful dungeon brawler, Curse of the Dead Gods – but its curse management innovation feels [...]

Tom S, Graham and Marsh put on their luckiest killing slippers and put the shoe into JRPGs Dragon Quest XI and Bravely Default 2. Plus, recursive first-person puzzler Maquette, the valblue of subs, and a sorry end in the football cul-de-sac. First person puzzler where things are big and small and you are in them [...]

Alex, Tom F, Chris and Marsh colonise the skies in Airborne Kingdom, recolonise the lands of Loop Hero, overheat colonists in Terraforming Mars and perforate colons in brutal duelling sim Hellish Quart. Also the soviet miserablism of HROT. Kiss kiss! Doomed libertarian expedition, Artifact, has finally eaten the last of its own shoes and will [...]

Alex, Tom S and Graham push right in the wordless storyworld of Voyage, bash chitin in the bullet hell of Mushihimesama and gush over affectionate genre-hopping satire Lair of the Clockwork God. If you feel you’ve been harmed by the discussion of pizza in this podcast, please contact our Culinary Crime Office on 1800-DONT-AT-ME. Anthem, [...]

Both Toms, Graham and Marsh defy death in timeloop horror House, deal death in globetrotting trilogy Hitman, dodge death in smart shmup Bezier and become death in Death Crown. Also: streamlined space strat Slipways and the joy of City Guesser. It’s reverse-Hitman: House. Reverse-reverse-Hitman: 360 Hitman / Hitman III / Hitman 8 / World of [...]

Chris, Alex and Marsh boot up modern games made for ye olde machines (Micro Mages, Nox Archaist and Tanglewood), put the boot into baddies in Shady Knight, woodchip birdies in Journey to the Savage Planet and chop wood in Nordic survival hit Valheim. Marty O’Donnell primes his Plangent Hero Horn for the return of Six [...]