Mart's World

It's a full house today. Me, Carl, Chris and Laura talk about addictions. There's a guy in America (of course) that's addicted to plastic surgery. He's had all his face done as well as shoulder implants, pectoral implants and who knows what else. He looks ridiculous!.  Are any addictions good for you? Well possibly going to the gym and working out is, for health reasons, but as soon as piling on muscle becomes an addiction that can lead to all sorts of dangerous things such as taking steroids. We've now started a Patreon page so you can come and join in the community and support the podcast. https://www.patreon.com/MartsWorldPodcast

Me, Carl and Laura are in the studio and Chris phones in from Her Majesty's Prison Belmarsh to give his opinion on the latest movie version of Aladdin.  Us normals thought it was a good film but the snowflake didn't like it. Considering it was directed by Guy Ritchie I was expecting lots of swearing, crazy Russians and an assortment of pikeys. However, it turned out to be good old family fun. What a let down. Maybe Tarantino should direct the next Disney classic. We've now started a Patreon page so you can come and join in the community and support the podcast. https://www.patreon.com/MartsWorldPodcast

Laura, Carl and myself discuss cults. What's the attraction? Are people looking for somewhere to belong? It's a strange topic. Carl talks about Jonestown and the 918 people that died. Some were murdered and some committed suicide. About a third of that number were children. How would you go about even starting a cult? Adverts in the paper? Recruitment drive? Or just preying on lost and vulnerable people? We've now started a Patreon page so you can come and join in the community and support the podcast. https://www.patreon.com/MartsWorldPodcast

Me, Carl and Laura discuss equality in all it's shapes and forms. But specifically in the workplace. I have to agree that if ten people are doing exactly the same role then they should be paid exactly the same wage, regardless of whether they are men, women, black, white, disabled or a dwarf. Although the dwarf wouldn't really need as much money as they probably eat less and need smaller houses. I do have a strong opinion on men becoming women and then competing in women's sports. That's just ludicrous. Eventually we decide that men are much better at things than women. Or, I may have made that bit up. We've now started a Patreon page so you can come and join in the community and support the podcast. https://www.patreon.com/MartsWorldPodcast

It's me Carl and Laura again. Carl wants to talk about what's happening with our online data. We've all seen that documentary 'The Great Hack' where Cambridge Analytica helped themselves to everyone's data via Facebook. How did they get away with it for so long? But what's more worrying is how much power all that data gave them. They were running successful campaigns and basically brainwashing people to make certain decision, which is how we ended up with Trump. We've now started a Patreon page so you can come and join in the community and support the podcast. https://www.patreon.com/MartsWorldPodcast

So today me, Carl and our new co-host Laura talk about destiny and free will. Are our lives already planned out or are they affected by the decisions we make? Personally I can't see how it can just be either one or the other. Surely it has to be a mixture of both, but the only way that makes any sense is if we are living in a simulation where the parameters are set and we just make small adjustments ourselves. I didn't really want to go down the 'living in a simulation' rabbit hole again but how else would it work? We've now started a Patreon page so you can come and join in the community and support the podcast. https://www.patreon.com/MartsWorldPodcast

I had a question for Carl and Chris this week. What would they do if they came outside in the morning and there was a bloody great big spaceship just parked there in the sky. You know, like the beginning of Independence Day. Carl is arming himself to the teeth and going into full Rambo mode. Chris would just be gobsmacked and I'd be pointing in everyone's face shouting 'See, I told you!'. In all seriousness though I think society would fall to pieces instantly with everyone panicking. Nobody would go to work. There'd be mass looting in all the supermarkets for all the essentials because as we know from previous disasters everyone has meals of bread and milk in a crisis. We've now started a Patreon page so you can come and join in the community and support the podcast. https://www.patreon.com/MartsWorldPodcast

This week Carl, Chris and I discuss whether serial killers are born bonkers or are they victims of their environment from a young age. Being a killer doesn't seem hereditary. Also we decide that University is a waste of time. Get a job and study part time. That's the only thing that makes sense to me. Though to be fair I did miss out on all those years of debauchery, drugs and alcohol so I don't really know what I've missed. We've now started a Patreon page so you can come and join in the community and support the podcast. https://www.patreon.com/MartsWorldPodcast

This week, Carl, Chris and myself catch up on my latest doctor visits and results. We also talk about carrying weapons for self defence but Carl has no need for one as he's mainly the attacker in these situations but having a taser would be a great laugh at parties. And Chris has had 5 or 6 people recently telling him that he's giving off a gay vibe. Maybe our suspicions are correct. We've now started a Patreon page so you can come and join in the community and support the podcast. https://www.patreon.com/MartsWorldPodcast

I'm not much help in this podcast. We talk about Brexit and the possibility of Bonking Boris becoming the new Prime Minister. And why not? America has their own comedy leader and Ukraine's next president is actually a real comedian.  Chris suggests we should be buddying up with the Chinese as they are likely to end up as the most powerful nation. I'll be ok then as I've spent a fortune in The Golden Bowl over the years. Not so much lately though. The portions are not as big as they used to be. We've now started a Patreon page so you can come and join in the community and support the podcast. https://www.patreon.com/MartsWorldPodcast    

Being the older one of the group, it was my generation that made a mess of Earth by burning  everything we could dig out of the ground and eating dolphins. In my defense though, we only did what we were told at the time. We were led to believe that plastics were the future and that smoking was cool. Chris is outraged (isn't he always?) to discover that Carl and I eat eggs from caged hens. He thinks chickens should have regular holidays, gym memberships and a pension plan.  That's all very well but the cost of all these luxuries is reflected in the price. Free range eggs cost twice as much. Chris isn't convinced but then again he's the one who pays people to mow his lawn, clean his windows and deliver his groceries.

I tell Carl and Chris about the busy week I've had. I've been to the doctor's twice. Had blood tests. Had an eyesight test. Went to a wedding party and a car boot sale. Of course we discuss all this in much more detail with some hilarious moments. We've now started a Patreon page so you can come and join in the community and support the podcast. https://www.patreon.com/MartsWorldPodcast

Chris couldn't make it this week so I got Jemma and Carl on a Whatsapp group phone call. We talk about Donald Trump's first line of defence against the latest sexual assault accusation 'She's not my type'. Jemma tells us about a woman's self defence class she just attended where it turns out the most effective method is to just shit yourself under the premise that no attacker wants to deal with that. Also it seems that I may have bought a toilet seat for Prince Harry and his missus as they've just had their gaff spruced up costing £2,400,000. Yes that's 2.4 million pounds. We've now started a Patreon page so you can come and join in the community and support the podcast. https://www.patreon.com/MartsWorldPodcast    

I have two of those horrible yappy little dogs living next to me and sometimes they are out in the garden just barking for ages, for no apparent reason. However, they are just doing what dogs do. I blame the owners. Why are they letting this happen? Let's discipline the owners first so that they can learn to control their dogs. I'm all for an eagle breeding program in Wales to solve the issue of these annoying little tyrants. Once a couple of tiny barkers have been snatched, other owners will keep their dogs inside and away from us decent people. I'm also annoyed at those that don't clean up after their pets when out in public places. Carl suggested we pick up the poo for them and then throw it at the owners. That sounds like a great idea to me. We've now started a Patreon page so you can come and join in the community and support the podcast. https://www.patreon.com/MartsWorldPodcast

Game of Thrones is finally over. Chris, Carl and myself discuss the whole series and especially season 8. I'm confused by the fact that the dragons did bugger all through the whole series and then suddenly, as if by magic, they can lay waste to everything in sight. It makes no sense. Also I thought the big battle with the White Walkers in episode 3 was pretty shit. The battle in episode 5 was much better, especially Cersei crying and getting crushed by rocks. My favourite scene was at the end of the last episode when they're all sitting around wondering who's going to be king. The dwarf is in handcuffs saying 'Don't pick me, I'll fuck it up'. Then they give the crown to the token disabled person. Ridiculous. We've now started a Patreon page so you can come and join in the community and support the podcast. https://www.patreon.com/MartsWorldPodcast I also wrote a Game of Thrones review on our Patreon page.

Chris is fed up of the standard James Bond and suggested that maybe a woman could be 007. Obviously that's ridiculous and we get into a heated debate about the whole thing. The remake of Ghostbusters featuring all women was a disaster. Writers should be writing new material for women and non white actors to show off their talents with an original idea. We also argue about traditions. Chris says that nobody is interested in traditions anymore. I point out that he's just got married.  We argued more in this episode than all the others put together. Carl found it all hilarious. We've now started a Patreon page so you can come and join in the community and support the podcast. https://www.patreon.com/MartsWorldPodcast

This week we discuss marriage and what's the point of it. Does it still make sense to want to get married. This was Chris' choice of subject which was a bit dangerous as he's only just got married. We also brought up the bizarre stories of people marrying inanimate objects such as railway stations. Carl is quite concerned about this and thinks it's wrong that nobody is taking the railway station's feelings into consideration. I have a different view as the trains in the UK are nearly always late and I think the railway station has a big part to play in this so it's getting no sympathy from me. We've now started a Patreon page so you can come and join in the community and support the podcast. https://www.patreon.com/MartsWorldPodcast

Me, Carl and Chris discuss if time travel is possible. Chris spent all day tomorrow thinking about this. We come to the conclusion that if one of us went back in time and killed Hitler it wouldn't change our history, but a new timeline would have been created from that point which would follow the death of evil Adolf. Also I may be the king of Namibia in another timeline which makes sense as I've always thought I'm a bit royal. We also discuss the Mandela effect. Pikachu never had a black tip on his tail and the word Kit Kat never had a hyphen between them. We've now started a Patreon page so you can come and join in the community and support the podcast. https://www.patreon.com/MartsWorldPodcast

Its the usual trio of Mart, Carl and Chris. This week we tackle religion. I claim that the bible and other religious writings are the best evidence ever of alien visitations. Chris would like to be a Jedi and Carl gives his thoughts on Islam. There is also mention of Catholic priests and altar boys but that probably comes as no surprise to anyone. We've now started a Patreon page so you can come and join in the community and support the podcast. https://www.patreon.com/MartsWorldPodcast

Today me, Carl and Chris have a bit of a catch up on the latest gossip. We chat about Game of Thrones and how Peter Dinklage sounds like a real human. And the Indian man that cut his finger off for pressing the wrong voting button in the Indian elections. We also discuss who we think we need to save in the event of a major disaster. We agreed that the old and infirm can go and wander off into the woods and survive on their own so that the scientists, builders and farmers can continue the human race.  We've now started a Patreon page so you can come and join in the community and support the podcast. https://www.patreon.com/MartsWorldPodcast