Everything Happens With Kate Bowler

Some people are the LEAN IN sort. They lean into your unsolvable problems, show up on your impossible days, and walk with you all the way to the end. How do we become them? How do we create belonging when the people we love experience such uncertainty? Practical theologian and mental health nurse John Swinton knows a thing or two about this kind of love.  In this conversation, Kate and John discuss:  The importance of learning to be present for people with intellectual disabilities, dementia, or in mental health crises  How two places that should be known as places of belonging—the church and the hospital—have become difficult for fragile people… and how we might begin to make these institutions better A theology of hope we might all be able to sign up for (Spoiler: Hope is a long story.)  How love moves at a certain speed, so we all might need to slow down a bit ***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.THE LIVES WE ACTUALLY HAVE: 100 Blessings for

Maggie Smith (poet and author of books like Keep Moving and You Could Make This Place Beautiful) chronicles the aftermath of a painful divorce she didn’t see coming. How do we raise our kids in the wake of such change? And how do we reconcile who we are and who we are becoming? In this conversation, Maggie and Kate discuss: How to support someone going through divorce The metaphor of nesting dolls as how we contain who we were before (and how our befores and afters might not be as dramatic as we thought) Speaking honestly with our children about the beauty and tragedy of the world Why tragedies are not worth the “lessons” that we might learn from them CW: divorce***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.THE LIVES WE ACTUALLY HAVE: 100 Blessings for Imperfect Days is out now. Learn more, here.Leave us a voicemail and who knows? We might even be able to use your voice on the air: 919-322-8731 To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices

What happens when the people we built our lives around stop needing us? Or when we have to pick between our meaningful careers or our family? And what do we do with the ambiguous grief that comes with every expected and unexpected change? Today, Kate takes an honest look at juggling the demands on our time and on our heart with NPR’s Mary Louise Kelly.Kate and Mary Louise discuss:  Debunking the women can “have it all” paradigm and what happens when the things we love come into conflict The limitations of gratitude How our callings pull us into a wider sense of who we belong to How to savor (and mourn) all the lasts as your children grow older  This may be a conversation about parenting, but I think there might be something in here for anyone who wonders: Who am I as my relationships change? Can I still find myself there?***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.THE LIVES WE ACTUALLY HAVE: 100 Blessings for Imperfect Days is out now. Learn more, here

How should you show up for people in grief? What do you say? What should you do? Why is it that beauty can exist alongside deep suffering? What can be said at funerals when the person who died was complicated? These are just a few of the questions I wanted to ask Steve Leder—a bestselling author and a rabbi who has presided over a thousand funerals with wisdom and kindness. In this conversation, we discuss:   The mysterious way beauty can be found the closer we inch to death (our own or someone else’s). The importance of just showing up. And being you.  Honoring someone’s memory at the same time being truthful about how human they were The peace that comes from acknowledging that life is full of dualities  “If you have to go through hell, don’t come out empty handed” (Steve Leder), but no, the lessons were never, ever worth the pain CW: suicide, adult language***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.THE LIVES WE ACTUALLY HAVE: 100 Blessings for Impe

Historian and Canadian politician Michael Ignatieff explores the cracks in our seamless worldviews… or at least the worldviews we thought were seamless until we’re faced with tragedies of all kinds. In this wide-ranging exploration, Kate and Michael probe humanity's enduring attempt to console ourselves and construct meaning from our pain.In this conversation, Kate and Michael discuss: Why truth and trust are so important when it comes to finding meaning in our pain The difference between comfort and consolation  The limits of stoicism and hyper-futurism  What it means to be hopeful The importance of community through pain and suffering  Michael does not denigrate anyone’s attempt for comfort, but asks us to look carefully at the consolation that lasts. He asks: What is consolation? And why do we all crave that practice of meaning-making?***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.THE LIVES WE ACTUALLY HAVE: 100 Blessings for Imperfect Days is out now.

Supermodel Paulina Porizkova has been in the public eye all her life. But it has been a rollercoaster of soaring successes and deep heartache. Grief and pain comes to us all, and in those moments, we need our shared humanity (and not our super-anythingness) to build a bridge back to others.In this tender conversation, Kate and Paulina discuss: How to show up to friends in unsolvable pain Why “what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger” is just plain wrong Why the assumptions we make about one another are untrue  CW: Spicy language***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.THE LIVES WE ACTUALLY HAVE: 100 Blessings for Imperfect Days is out now. Learn more, here.We have free Lent guides for you to use by yourself, with a group, or with your church. Click here to get started.Leave us a voicemail and who knows? We might even be able to use your voice on the air: 919-322-8731 To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www

The Reverend Tom Long wrote the book on funerals. No, really. When grief threatens to swallow us whole, Tom reminds us of our place in a bigger story of hope and faith, of interdependence and the importance of community. He describes the necessity of ritual to pull us into a wider, truer story than the trite version our culture likes to tell.In this warm conversation (trust me! You will laugh!), Kate and Tom discuss:  What it means to be called into emotionally-expensive professions (jobs where you decide to really care!)  The importance of truth-telling at a funeral Seeing people through the prism of God’s love for them (more specifically—through the lens of their baptism) Why people die at all and what happens with all the love we have for one another (hint: it’s never, ever, ever lost) The importance of the rituals we create to walk people through death and dying No one likes to talk about funerals, but this one is a must-listen. ***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagra

Over thirty years ago, Elaine Pagels’ young son and husband died within the same year. In this tender conversation, Kate and Elaine discuss surviving the aftermath of such devastation, the painful explanations religion often offers, and how we love and keep loving even after so much tragedy. Together, they discuss: The need for connection to others during grief Religion’s often painful and punitive explanations for suffering (and why they aren’t helpful or complete) Why parents often feel like they’ve “failed” when a child dies How suffering pulls us closer to mystery  This episode is for someone who has ever had the thought “haven’t I suffered enough?” Elaine and Kate are trusted companions in a life that hasn’t turned out like we thought it should. CW: death of a child, death of a spouse***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.THE LIVES WE ACTUALLY HAVE: 100 Blessings for Imperfect Days is out now. Learn more, here.We have free Lent guides for you

Every problem New York Times columnist Frank Bruni faced had a simple fix. Doctors offered reasonable solutions for reasonable problems. Preventative care guaranteed future health. That is, until he woke up one morning without vision in his eye. This experience forced him to rethink how much of life is in our control and how to live fully in the face of unfixable problems.In this conversation, Kate and Frank discuss:  Letting go of the idea that life is a series of choices and learning that there are things we can’t fix How the lacquered lives we see on social media deny us the fuller picture of each other’s problems Importance of finding the things that light up our lives and taking the hard stuff bird by bird, vine by vine.  ***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.THE LIVES WE ACTUALLY HAVE: 100 Blessings for Imperfect Days is out now. Learn more, here.We have free Lent guides for you to use by yourself, with a group, or with your church. Click h

Beth Moore has been in the limelight for almost thirty years, but during that time, she revealed very little about her formative family history. Now, this world-famous Bible teacher is ready to tell her story for the first time. In this episode, Kate and Beth discuss:  How Beth’s faith offered stability during a very unpredictable and unstable childhood  The complicated grief that occurs when family members cause deep, unforgivable harm What it means to be fully known (and why that feels better than anything else)  Beth’s long-faithfulness despite experiencing rejection, pain, and hurt from her faith community  This was Beth’s first interview about her new memoir, and Kate felt so honored to get to ask this wise soul about the role of faith in lives that haven’t worked out like we thought they should. CW: sexual abuse, mental illness***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.THE LIVES WE ACTUALLY HAVE: 100 Blessings for Imperfect Days is out now. Lear

Welcome to SEASON TEN of the Everything Happens Podcast! I started this podcast as a way to create language and community around some of life's most painful moments. I was so overwhelmed by the question of how do we live in the after? After a diagnosis, after a death, after a divorce, after something that changes our lives or takes it apart.I had just been diagnosed with stage four colon cancer and I was only 35. I had a two year old at home with this giant lovey Disney eyes, and I had the job that I loved, and then suddenly, I had a picture of a future that was just never going to be. So I wanted to know, like, how do we do this? How do you find joy and hope and love even after life comes undone? And after years of treatment and years of uncertainty, I guess I realized somewhere along the way that this wasn't really a one and done kind of question. This is the sort of work that evolves over time as life continues to contract and expand and break our hearts and then put us back together all over again. And so

As we approach the New Year, we might need a minute to look backward. What even happened this year? Who was I? What went well? What didn't? Before we start making those New Year’s Resolutions, maybe we could have a second of honesty together.  This week is about celebrating the fact that alongside some of our painful, horrifying moments, we did experience moments of levity and joy and pure delight. In our personal lives, in our inner circle, during our 9-5s, and one real Zinger bonus round that really takes the cake.  In this bonus crossover episode, Kate and Kelly Corrigan discuss:  Their own personal happies, including the joy of birthdays as a reset button  How being reabsorbed into other people’s stories and problems makes us feel less alone  The satisfaction that comes from totally immersing yourself in learning, what Kelly refers to as intellectual humility ***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.Find Kelly Corrigan on Instagram or listen to

This time of year can be rough. Somehow we are supposed to wrap it up or feel complete, but, more often than not, we can look back at a year that, well, sucked. Rather than just showing you the shiny parts of life, today is your permission to Cheers to The Crappies. Kelly Corrigan (of Kelly Corrigan Wonders and Tell Me More) and I are exchanging our crappiest moments: in our personal lives, in our inner circle, during our 9-5, and one real Zinger round that takes the cake. In this bonus crossover episode, Kate and Kelly discuss:  Their own personal crappy lows of the year—like managing chronic pain, endless parental worries, and walking with a friend through divorce Kate’s strong policy against gratitude as a shellac to suffering Why talking about pain can be so tricky and sometimes it can’t be fixed by love alone This episode is for if you aren’t feel warm and fuzzy about this past year and you want a minute to say: Wow. That really didn’t go well. This isn’t getting better. I’m really disappointed or heartb

The indomitable Liz Gilbert (of EAT, PRAY, LOVE fame) joins Kate for a live conversation on the courage to create. Listen as Liz helps us expose our exhausting American need to make everything useful and lets us embrace beauty as a way of really living.In this episode, Kate and Liz discuss:  Why we stop ourselves from being creative  How we are all capable of making anything (badly! medium-well!)  But how our creativity is best if it is for no reason whatsoever (not for impact or legacy or money or acknowledgement)  How curiosity quiets fear and control CW: some spicy adult language***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.Subscribe to receive blessings in your inbox every week.No Cure for Being Human (And Other Truths I Need to Hear) is now available in PAPERBACK. Order your copy, today.Looking for some short spiritual reflections and blessings? Check out GOOD ENOUGH: 40ish Devotionals for a Life of Imperfection. Available wherever books are sold.In

Bryan Stevenson (founder of the Equal Justice Initiative) is committed to ending mass incarceration and excessive punishment, to challenging racial and economic injustice, and to protecting basic human rights for the most vulnerable among us.In this episode, Kate and Bryan discuss:  The hope that motivates Bryan in this slow, sometimes frustrating work of justice What it means to be a ‘stonecatcher’ (and why it serves both the one being condemned and the one doing the condemning) The power of forgiveness, maybe especially toward those who don’t deserve it CW: discussion of slavery, lynching, and other racist violence, death row***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.Subscribe to receive blessings in your inbox every week.No Cure for Being Human (And Other Truths I Need to Hear) is now available in PAPERBACK. Order your copy, today.Looking for some short spiritual reflections and blessings? Check out GOOD ENOUGH: 40ish Devotionals for a Life of Impe

We are going to practice the season of Advent together. Download a free Advent guide, here.At the end of today's episode, we asked you what your traditions were for remembering the people who we've lost. Share yours on my Instagram or Facebook account. Whether it is the 1st or 4th or 22nd year without someone you love, the holidays can be especially difficult. We need practical ways to bring their memory into our special days. Making family recipes. Playing their favorite song. Putting their ornaments on the tree. Traditions that keep their love alive year after year after year.What traditions does your family practice to honor and remember your loved one each year? Share yours on Instagram or Facebook.Thank you for sharing your heartbreak and hope with us all. Bless you as you navigate another year dear one. You aren't doing it alone.***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.Subscribe to receive blessings in your inbox every week.No Cure for Being H

Fred Penner is a Canadian sensation whose television show and hit songs like “The Cat Came Back” was part of so many of our childhoods. But what few of us knew was how much he understood the pain of growing up. He lost his alcoholic father and his 12-year-old sister in the same year. He turned to music. And his gentle wisdom and songs have invited us—children and adults alike—to stay curious and kind in a hard world.In this episode, Kate and Fred discuss:  Music as the language of the heart  How to speak to the heart of a kid Plus, we get to hear Fred sing some of his favorite songs I have so many memories singing along to Fred’s music as a kid and felt so lucky to get to speak to him today. CW: alcoholism, death of sibling***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.Subscribe to receive blessings in your inbox every week.No Cure for Being Human (And Other Truths I Need to Hear) is now available in PAPERBACK. Order your copy, today.Looking for some shor

Today, I have a very special BONUS episode for you all. Glennon Doyle, author of Untamed, watched in awe as this simple phrase from Untamed – WE CAN DO HARD THINGS – the mantra that saved her life twenty years ago, became a worldwide rally cry.Life is freaking hard. We are all doing hard things every day – we love and lose; we forge and end friendships; battle addiction, illness, and loneliness; care for children and parents; struggle in our jobs, our marriages, our divorces; we try to set and hold boundaries – and we fight for equality, purpose, joy, and peace right in the midst of all the hard.On We Can Do Hard Things, Glennon, her wife Abby Wambach, and her sister Amanda Doyle, do the only thing that has ever made life easier: They talk honestly about the hard. They laugh and cry and help each other carry the hard so we can all live a little bit lighter and braver, free-er, less alone.And they asked me to join them for a conversation on We Can Do Hard Things about navigating illness and other hard things t

Julia Samuel is a psychologist in the UK who specializes in working with families who have experienced complicated stories of loss and love. So often we can feel overwhelmed by our histories – our family histories – and need a boost to confront dysfunction, speak the truth, and find trusted people to help us look back and look forward. In this episode, Kate and Julia discuss:  What to do when we’ve inherited the pain of our parents or grandparents and when our own problems might be the pain we pass down How we navigate generational divides especially around how we express our feelings How to not pass down inherited trauma by understanding our bigger family webs This conversation also is a much-needed reminder that you in all your actual problems and actual pain are far better than any idealized version of you. And maybe that is the exact honesty that might offer us and our families the freedom we long for.CW: mention of suicide, some spicy adult language :) ***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click h

How do we gather in meaningful ways? After the pandemic took apart so many of our favorite ways of hanging out, we might be out of practice. Or too tired or overwhelmed. Priya Parker is an expert facilitator who encourages us all to practice being together for different reasons. And they don’t have to be nearly as fancy or predictable as we might think…In this episode, Kate and Priya discuss:  How do we show up for other people and ourselves in creative ways  How to know when a change might be needed in a regular gathering  Risk and the awkwardness of needing people ***Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter.Subscribe to receive blessings in your inbox every week.No Cure for Being Human (And Other Truths I Need to Hear) is now available in PAPERBACK. Order your copy, today.Looking for some short spiritual reflections and blessings? Check out GOOD ENOUGH: 40ish Devotionals for a Life of Imperfection. Available wherever books are sold.We are going to pr