Completely Seriously

We have finally come to the end of the Disturbing Movie Iceberg with the big daddy of all upsetting movies A Serbian Film. Strap in for a disturbing dive into pornography, sexual violence and Balkan politics.

This week we continue with the upsetting with the not super upsetting Poughkeepsie Tapes. Take a theater kid, give him some weird sexual issues, a camcorder and an arsenal of costumes, and you’ve got a murderer on your hands.

We’re trying to answer the unanswerable this week as we talk about the 2008 French phenomenon Martyrs. This movie will make you wince, think, doubt, question everything and distrust fans of Danny Darko. Take this journey with us and, remember, it’s NEVER cool to martyr people. If you are, knock it off.

Grab your razr phones and your teddy bear, web your pals and join us as we dive into the 2011 low budget anti-internet PSA Megan is Missing. We get to the bottom of whether it's truly scary or just shock for shock’s sake.    Note: Joey’s views and opinions–– made in jest–– on Jason Momoa are his own, and they do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the other hosts.

This week we’re diving into the Korean classic and American remake Oldboy (2003) and (2013). We get to the bottom of what makes this movie so upsetting and if the remake is as disturbing as the original.

We’re setting off on a journey this week down the iceberg of most upsetting movies. We begin in the heavens with the torture porn classic Saw. We’ll descend deeper and deeper under the water. We may come out on the other side fine and unaffected, we may be irrevocably changed.

Neither thunder or lightning or a bad, late stage Blade movie could keep us from covering the last of the Wesley Snipes Blade movies. Join us, the Nighstalkers, as we hunt down why this movie didn’t work.

We’re back by popular(ish) demand to break down Blade II. Are things going to go off the rails immediately? Yeah. Are we going to spend a lot of time talking about other movies? Of course! Does one of us consistently mispronounce the names of the characters? Without a doubt. So, grab your shades, hug your Whistlers tight and join us on the hunt for reapers. 

You’ve asked for it–– well, Joey asked for it–– and we’re delivering. We’re kicking off our three part series on the original daywalking, Naruto running, sword-swinging, sunglass wearing, vampire hunting Marvel hero Blade. We kick the trilogy off with the 1998 classic Blade.

As promised We’re tackling the much hated Gods of Egypt. If you’ve ever wondered if gods were tall or if Shrek was hot or if you could still use magic if you lost one eye or if you could pay your way to heaven with your breasts, this is the episode for you.

We made it through a southern snow storm to bring you the latest in just ok content. We’re deep diving into the latest teen tripe To All The Boys: Always and Forever.

It’s a bird! It’s a plane with a yak on board! No! It’s the three headed dragon emperor heading toward the Great Wall of China in this tedious, unnecessary third installment of The Mummy Franchise.

Like Imhotep, we have been pulled from the desert sands, have been melted out of our amber prisons and have sucked the organs and skin from some hapless brigands. We revisit Egypt this week to break down the 2001 classic The Mummy Returns.

This week, we’re discussing The Mummy (1999). Perhaps the most formative, historically accurate, sexuality awakening movie we’ve ever covered.

After a frank discussion of human bathroom indignities, we revisit our favorite episodes of 2020. We’re pulling the golden nuggets from the stinky mud pile that was this year, and flushing the rest into the obscurity of history.

Don’t you wish we would tackle the narrative mess that is Wonder Woman 1984? This week, we are! We ask the tough questions like what war was it? and why was Cheetah? and how does flying work? and is it a sex crime? and is that it?

This week, we’re wrapping up the Twilight Saga by staying true to the text and smooshing together Breaking Dawn parts 1 & 2. We talk about the problematic moments, who we’d FML and Marisa interrupts Joey—INCORRECTLY— and gets her comeuppance. Tune in.

This week, we’re covering the third movie in the Twilight Saga Eclipse. We laugh, we cry, we ask ourselves: “Why does this exist?”And we also talk about how amazing Patrick Swayze was, regardless of Marisa’s bad opinions.

This is round two of the Stephanie Meyers Extended Cinematic Universe. We’re calling on our gifts of determining relationships, pain illusion and enhanced self-preservation to cover the second part of the Twilight Saga New Moon.

Snuggle up with your stinky lab partner, put on your boobiest prom dress and whoosh through the trees with us as we fly back through time to tackle the worldwide vampire phenomenon Twilight.