Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

How can we help our children become better learners? When learning is seen as a process of creating abilities rather than discovering abilities, children can embrace challenges as opportunities for growth instead of avoiding them due to fear of failure. James Anderson and Justin Coulson explore how parents can help children leave their comfort zone and step into their learning zone, to understand that struggle and discomfort are natural and temporary parts of the learning journey and that investing effort results in hard things becoming easy.  (R)  This episode originally aired 27/7/22. In today’s episode: #529 The Growth Mindset with James Anderson Learnership Mindset – fixed vs growth. Lifelong learners, performance learners, non-learners Finding and following your strengths Choosing what you want to become Learning zones Comfort zone – easy things you haven’t done yet You don't get better by doing your best Effort is the cost of growth That which we persist in doing becomes easier to do, not that the natu

Myth: "Parents cannot be friends with their child." Relationships that are based on trust, appropriate disclosure, and respect are still friendships, regardless of whether they are egalitarian or not. Our children need these kinds of relationships with us. But there are limits to this friendship. Justin & Kylie examine the nature of parent-child friendships and how this relationship morphs and grows over time from the early years right up to adulthood.  In this episode: Can you be friends with your kids? Parent before friend What our children need from us Mistakes parents make when trying to be their child's friend Permissive parenting Can you tell whether someone is a good parent by how good their kids turn out? High level of control can lead to rebellious children At what point is a child a good person? Mental health and wellbeing, special needs Challenging behaviours Judging parents on a child's behaviour Children make their own choices Be the best parent you can be . Related links:  Anxiety In Your

Are you tired of feeling like your worth as a parent hinges on your child's achievements? In today's podcast, we debunk common parenting myths and explore why it's unhealthy to measure your parenting success by your child's performance. We discuss the importance of self-care, the balance between personal needs and parental duties, and the critical role of maintaining a strong relationship with your spouse for a thriving family life. In this episode: Each child brings a new parenting challenge Parenting teaches you a lot about yourself How do we measure our success as a parent? Balancing the needs of children with self-care  Prioritising your relationship with partner/spouse What does it mean to be a good parent? . Related links:  Dadding Done Right [Webinar] Self Care Strategies That Really Work We Need to Talk About Parent Wellbeing Having Parents in Love Is Great for Your Kids . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comme

Justin is on a mission to use his phone less. Find out what he has done this week that has been a freeing (albeit slightly inconvenient) experience. In response to last week's episode 'Mum Break', a lot of women are saying they could never leave the kids and go away for a week! Kylie and Justin discuss why this is the case and what can be done to support and encourage mums to take some time out for themselves. In this episode: Unplug Childhood Deleting apps from devices Dropping social media The never ending laundry cycle A shout out to all the extraordinary single parents listening! "Mum breaks" - why they aren't happening more The 'martyr syndrome' of motherhood Dads need to step up . Related links:  #100 Managing Bedtime as a Solo Parent 10 Reasons You’re Doing Better as a Parent Than You Think What Dad Can Do for Mum’s Wellbeing . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au Find out m

We unpack the latest science for parents with three fascinating studies this week: the positive outcomes that come from connecting online, the power of touch and how it has the capacity to ease pain, anxiety, and depression, and how anger is worse for us than we thought. In this episode: A Multiverse Analysis of the Associations Between Internet Use and Well-Being by Matti Vuorre and Andrew K. Przybylski Internet connection and wellbeing Brain development Getting the balance right The power of touch Vagus nerve and Karen Young A systematic review and multivariate meta-analysis of the physical and mental health benefits of touch interventions Stress hormones damage us Anger Does a Lot More Damage to Your Body Than You Realize  Anger Kills, by Dr Redford Williams Anger is normal Stephen Covey - the space between stimulus and response . Related links:  Why Getting Angry Doesn't Work #553 All The Rage: Taming Parental Anger . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voi

Beck Delahoy explores the paradox of modern parenting: while raising children has never been easier thanks to advancements in health, education, and living standards, parenting itself has become increasingly challenging. However, with these advancements, a "slow life strategy" has emerged, leading to intensive parenting practices doing more harm than good. It’s time to ease up on the intensive parenting and embrace a simpler, more fulfilling approach to raising children. In this episode: Beck Delahoy's 'Lessons Learned' Parenting Substack Life expectancy's pre 1900s Why raising children into adulthood has never been easier The 'slow life strategey' Intensive parenting Parenting is harder Time to lower the parenting bar . Related links:  What Your Child Needs From You [Webinar] . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.

Conflict is a normal, natural part of every healthy relationship, but sometimes our children can become fearful and anxious when parents argue. You can have more productive arguments and model healthy conflict resolution by focusing on the quality of the interaction—the regulation—rather than the resolution itself.  Brittany asks, "How do you teach empathy without creating a people-pleaser?" We want our children to be helpful, kind, and considerate of others, but not at the expense of their own wellbeing or with unhealthy levels of self-sacrifice. There are three things you can teach your child to prevent them from becoming people-pleasers. In this episode: When children become concerned and try to keep the peace between parents Be attentive to your child's worries Is it ever ok to argue in front of the kids? Examples of unhealthy conflict Respectful, productive conflict How to focus on regulation over resolution (4 things to model) John Gottman, Esther Perez People-pleasing VS empathy, consideration of othe

When we make feelings “King”, our children can become stuck in their emotion, unable to regulate or move forward. Justin shares the right way to respond to feelings, helping them understand, process, and then move through their emotional state.  In this episode: Revolutionary change in how parents respond to emotions Impact of TikTok parenting influencers Validating emotions Feeling seen, heard, valued Ways to regulate and tame emotions Parent or therapist? #822 The Emotional Lives of Teenagers - Part 1 #827 The Emotional Lives of Teenagers - Part 2 #976 Abigail Shrier's Bad Therapy How to help your child process their emotion and move on from it . Related links:  The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents, by Lisa Damour The Secret to Regulating Emotions Emotion Coaching [Webinar] Little People, Big Feelings [The Summit] . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to po

Kylie is away on a kid-free adventure with a friend...and loving it! Has Justin been surviving without her? Listen in to hear the challenges, the fun, and the lessons they are both experiencing during this extended time apart. In this episode: A girls week away Friendships Pressures of family life Importance of stability and routine . Related links: Overwhelm [webinar] 18 Ways to Increase Your Happiness . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This Week In Parenting: why Australian parents are more open to smacking children than other countries, and how we can reduce peer pressure for kids and for parents by joining forces and creating community. In this episode: Smacking and corporal punishment Australian parents most open to smacking kids in international study | 9News The Parenting Revolution Can Australia make age verification work for social media? | The Guardian Momentum is building! 36 Months - sign the petition Let kids be kids - have a play-based childhood Peer pressure for kids and for parents too Unplug Childhood - join the village & take the pledge . Related links: #454 Online Safety with Julie Inman Grant from the e-Safety Commission Why It's Not Ok To Smack Your Kids - a great list of resources for what to do instead . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our web

Journalist and author Susie O'Brien chats with Justin about the current situation in schools regarding student behaviour and classroom management, with a recent senate inquiry suggesting that it's time to go back to basics and teach children how to behave at school. In this episode: A Senate Inquiry is Calling For a New 'Behaviour Curriculum' to Tackle Classroom Disruptions | Monash University Getting back to basics with classroom behaviour Explicit Teaching Push in New Behaviour Curriculum | Education Review What do teachers want? Lack of support from principals and parents Regressive or progressive?  Related links: The Calm Classroom [Webinar] One-Minute Wellbeing: 50 Quick Tips for Educators [Free Download] Boys, Girls, Brains, & Behaviour in the Classroom Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.com/listener for

Three-year-olds are exhausting! Energetic, emotionally reactive, and uninhibited—all the things that can make a parent begin to question if their child has ADHD! Today, Dr Justin looks at the developmentally normal behaviours of a three-year-old and shares four things they need in order to learn, grow, and thrive. Plus, three tips for neurodivergent parents trying to hold it all together while navigating the chaos of family life and struggling with their own ADHD. In this episode: ADHD, ODD, or just three? Developmental Milestones - Preschoolers Little People, Big Feelings (Webinar) What Your Child Needs From You Why saying "use your words" isn't helpful Theory of mind Diagnosing ADHD What 3-year-olds need Neurodivergent parents Challenges of ADHD as an adult Help For the ADHD Parent - from the Happy Families team . Related links: Parenting an ADHD Child Women in Australia with ADHD - FB support group ADHD Mums - Australian resource and podcast . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Famili

Are you overthinking family meals? Do you want a little more peace and a lot less chaos at the dinner table? How can a family dinner fit in amongst work commitments and extra-curricular activities? We take a look at the research behind what was once considered the norm - family dinners, and share some tips to ease the pressure. In this episode:  San Remo market research Chaos of mealtimes YOYO (You're On Your Own) night Screens and mealtimes Extra-curricular activities for kids AND parents are impacting family meals 5 tips to ease the pressure Are we overthinking family meals? 5 realistic tips to ease the pressure | The Conversation  Rituals of connection Related links: Eat Right Without a Fight - E-Book How do I Get My Child to Eat Healthy Food Without the Power Struggles? How to Banish Tech and Make Mealtimes Matter Menu Planner [Free Download] . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com

We know that giving children access to social media and devices is not in their best interests. Our children deserve—and need—a play-based childhood. Join the village today and “Unplug Childhood” with us!​  In this episode: "It was the damn phones" by Kori Jane | Instagram The “Unplug Childhood” movement The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness, by Jonathan Haidt Make some noise and get on board! Why this matters No social media before age 13 Give kids a play-based childhood Make the pledge today Related links: Our Phones Are Wrecking Us Kids Need Smart Parents Not Smart Phones . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In between homeschooling, 7 seasons of House, and a lot of travel, Justin and Kylie still managed to do some reading this month. Listen in to hear reviews of a classic children's book, a terrifying, heartbreaking YA novel, a disappointing flop filled with falsehoods, a warts and all memoir, and a contender for book of the year! Kylie's books: This Is Where it Ends, by Marieke Nijkamp 4.5/5 Charlotte’s Web, by E.B White 5/5 Justin's books: Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren't Growing Up, by Abigail Shrier 3/5 Troubled: A Memoir of Foster Care, Family, and Social Class, by Rob Henderson 5/5 Time to Think: The Inside Story of the Collapse of the Tavistock's Gender Service for Children, by Hannah Barnes 75/5 . Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Life can be really challenging for neurodivergent kids growing up in a world where they don't seem to fit in. Justin speaks with two authors about their fabulous books, and why representation in literature is so important for our children. Square Me, Round World by Chelsea Luker is a collection of short stories describing what life can feel like when you are a person growing up in a world not built for you and Wonderfully Wired by Stacey Lucas-Toumbourou celebrates the strengths and differences of 100 neurodivergent individuals who changed the world In this episode: Square Me, Round World, by Chelsea Luker | Booktopia The importance of representation Raising neurodivergent children Wonderfully Wired, by Stacey Lucas-Toumbourou Related links: Championing Neurodiversity: Helping Your Child Thrive in a Neurotypical World [Webinar] 'Supporting Autistic Children: Nurturing Neurodiversity' with Dr Justin Coulson & Dr Joey Lawrence [The Course] Parenting an ADHD Child 7 Insights for Parents of Autistic Childr

Screen struggles are something that every family is dealing with - and not just with the kids!  We share some small changes you can make to help you find a healthier and more balanced relationship with your phone. Does it feel like your child knows exactly which buttons to push to trigger you? News flash:  YOU are the only one that can choose how YOU respond! Learn how to increase your competence (and confidence!) in holding personal boundaries and regulating your own emotions, and watch your relationship with your child improve in the process. In this episode: We Are Social 2023 Digital Report How to turn your phone screen to grayscale Parental triggers Neurodiversity Setting and respecting boundaries The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey You choose your response Parenting competence Building relationships Related links: #565 Pushing Our Buttons Why Our Kids Need Us to Set Limits How To Be Less Tired #379 How I Work with Amantha Imber #240 Phones & Family Life with Dr Kathryn Modecki

Dr Justin’s 3 E’s (explore, explain, and empower) are the pillars of autonomy-supportive parenting. But there are times when they just do not work (we are all only flawed humans after all!). Today's tips will help you calmly and confidently navigate through the heat of these challenging moments. In this episode: The 3 Es of Effective Discipline: Explore, Explain, and Empower Self-determination theory Basic psychological needs of every human Relatedness, competence, autonomy Need-supportive parenting High emotions = low intelligence Being ok with our children's discomfort Patience and practice Fast is slow, and slow is fast Neurodiversity Turn towards your child in challenging times Related links: The Parenting Revolution, by Dr Justin Coulson The Secret to Regulating Emotions How to Fix a Problem Child Little People, Big Feelings [The Free Webinar] Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.co

Connecting with your teenager on their terms gives you the opportunity to engage with their world in a meaningful way. Being on the same digital platforms as your child allows for greater understanding, better conversations, and stronger connections, keeping them safe along the way. In this episode: Connection - feeling seen, heard, and valued The joy of Snapchat filters Understanding our teenager's world Doing housework with your child Daddy-daughter dates Related links: Miss-Connection 7 Day Connection Challenge [Free Download] Miss-Connection: Why Your Teenage Daughter “Hates” You, Expects the World, and Needs to Talk, by Dr Justin Coulson You Did WHAT on Snapchat?! Settle Down About Selfies Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our websiteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

'Gentle Parenting' is a mindset with an emphasis on the child’s feelings. It may sound lovely and calm, but in reality, this "way of being" has a tendency to indulge emotions at the expense of effective family functioning, leaving parents feeling like they are hanging on for dear life—exhausted, incompetent, and emotionally drained! Justin and Kylie share four essential steps for parenting gently in a way that ensures our children feel safe, secure, and loved.  In this episode: Defining "gentle parenting" Parental Guidance Season 1 Different parenting styles Gentle parenting the polar opposite of authoritarian “The Rise of the Accidentally Permissive Parent  Anne Pezalla – Gentle Parenting Can Be Really Hard On Parents | The Conversation John Gottman - Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child Emotion coaching gone wrong Indulging emotions at the expense of all else Autonomy-supportive parenting Kind and present parents Boundaries and limits Related links: Emotion Coaching | The Webinar The Secret to Regu