Help & Hope

Twenty-one surgeries by age thirteen. Years in the hospital. Verbal and physical bullying from schoolmates. Multiple miscarriages as a young wife. The death of a child. A debilitating progressive disease. Riveting pain. Abandonment. Unwanted divorce. How can one woman survive let alone thrive when she experiences such crashing waves of pain? In this conversation with Sharon Betters, Vaneetha Rendall Risner, author of The Scars that Have Shaped Me; How God meets us in Suffering, has experienced all these life crises and more. Rather than despair and giving up when wave after wave of loss hits, Veneetha encourages us to allow suffering to draw us into the heart of God.Support the show

On average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. During one year, this equates to more than 10 million women and men.1 About 2 in 4 women have experienced some form of physical violence by an intimate partner. This includes a range of behaviors (e.g. slapping, shoving, pushing) and in some cases might not be considered "domestic violence." 1These statistics do not include abuse of men. These are just a few of domestic abuse statistics on the National Statistics Domestic Violence website. Many more people do not report abuse. If these stats are true, it’s likely 1 in 4 women sitting in our church pews have experienced severe physical violence. Sadly, the place where wounded women should feel safest – the church – is the one place they are too ashamed to be transparent. In this informative but at times disturbing interview, Darby Strickland draws from years of not only studying the impact of abuse but her interaction through counseling abused

Infertility, ministry conflict, chronic pain – experiencing just one of these life crises can be all consuming. But all of them at the same time – and more? How does a woman not just survive, but thrive? Glenna Marshall, author of The Promise is His Presence, Why God is Always Enough, joins Sharon Betters to share her journey that has taken her to some very broken places. But as you will hear, she discovered priceless treasures as she struggled to make sense of it all.Support the show

Imagine you have one child, a beautiful daughter whose life reflects her deep love for Jesus. You and your wife work for a Christian organization, offering the help and hope of the Gospel, seeing every day as an opportunity to encourage and love others. And then you get that phone call that is every parent’s nightmare. Your only child, 17 years old, has been in a fatal car accident. Fast forward twenty years and your wife gets a diagnosis that not only will take her life but turn her last years into a place of great anguish. How would you respond? Ellis Goldstein had to answer these questions, the most recent, when he learned his wife’s diagnosis of Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, better known as Lou Gerig’s disease. This thoughtful conversation between two men who share the grief of losing a child will challenge listeners with their responses to grief and Ellis’ response to the illness and death of his beloved Colleen.Support the show

Almost 40% of young adults live with their parents or grandparents. This is the highest percentage in 70 years. The last time young adults did life in such proximity to their parents or grandparents was just before the Depression. Then it was out of financial need. Today it seems there is a whole different perspective on the part of the young adults. Dr. Chuck Betters talks to Jim Burns, author of Doing Life with Your Adult Children about some of the challenges for parents as they transition from parenting children to parenting young adults. Jim gives practical advice and hopeful encouragement for this tough yet rewarding transition.If you have an adult child, you know that parenting doesn't stop when a child reaches the age of eighteen. In many ways, it gets more complicated. Both your heart and your head are as involved as ever, whether your child lives under your roof or rarely stays in contact.In this conversation and in his book, parenting expert Jim Burns helps us navigate one of the richest and mo

Google mother-in-law jokes and you can take your pick of numerous sites that offer laughter at the expense of the mother-in-law. Becoming a mother-in-law after pouring your life into your son might be one of the most difficult challenges some women face. Perhaps family conflict is one of the hardest places to experience help and hope. This conversation between Annie Chapman and Sharon Betters will help guide daughters-in-law and mothers-in-law through the sometimes difficult maze of “sharing” a man. Annie Chapman is the author of The Mother-In-Law Dance and knows from experience how challenging it can be to get along with your mother-in-law. She also has married sons so she brings great wisdom on family relationships that might be just what you need to find a bridge into your “in-law’s” heart or build an even stronger relationship. Can two women love the same man and still get along? Annie says yes! And she offers sound advice for those times when only one party wants to have that friendship.Support the show

Each year about 50,000 children die in the United States. While a profound loss for parents, what about their siblings? Doug MacGray, was eleven years old when he lost his sixteen-year-old brother, Ricky. How does an eleven-year-old grieve? How is the grief journey of a sibling different than the grief journey of parents? In this sometimes emotional conversation, Doug shares with Dr. Chuck F. Betters some of the ways his brother’s death affected him and how grief for a child is different than the grief of an adult. It’s our hope that Doug’s story will help parents understand the grief of their children a little better and also encourage those who have lost siblings at a young age.Support the show

In 2016 about 20% of US adults had chronic pain – that’s about 50,000,000. Eight percent of those adults had high-impact pain – that’s about 20,000,000 people with debilitating chronic pain. People suffering from high-impact pain often suffer in isolation and without much understanding or sympathy. They don’t have a cast or any visible sign of injury, yet their pain changes the way they live life. In this Help & Hope podcast, Dr. Betters talks with Bill Condon, who knows what it is to not only experience chronic pain with no hope of healing, but also the devastation of the losses that often accompanies chronic pain. Bill explains how depression took him into such a dark place he no longer wanted to live. Yet in the middle of debilitating pain, Bill’s story is one of hope. If you or someone you love suffers from any kind of ongoing pain, Bill’s story will encourage you, and help you find a way to walk by faith in the middle of the pain and/or come alongside someone who lives with chronic pain.Support the s

Is it ever ok to question God’s love or wisdom, especially when you love and serve Him but experience tremendous loss? Dr. Frank A. James, President and Professor of Historical Theology at Missio Seminary in Pennsylvania joins Dr. Chuck F. Betters to talk about this very question. Frank’s story of loss started when his younger brother, Kelly, was trapped in a snow cave on Mt. Hood and an unyielding blizzard prevented rescue. News outlets from all over the world covered the fear and anguish of Frank’s family as they waited for news about Kelly. Frank describes the emotional roller coaster of hope, fear, confusion, despair and lament as they waited and then as they realized Kelly would not survive. As a professor, author, seminary president, how is it possible Frank struggled with hard theological questions about suffering and lament. Frank’s transparency will encourage you to better understand how God welcomes your questions and holds you tightly in His grip when you struggle to understand His purposes.Support

According to the National Institutes of Health, nearly 1 in 3 of all adolescents ages 13 to 18 will experience an anxiety disorder. These numbers have been rising steadily; between 2007 and 2012, anxiety disorders in children and teens went up 20%. These stats combined with the rate of hospital admissions for suicidal teenagers also doubling over the past decade leaves us with many concerning questions. (source: https://www.childhealthdata.org/learn-about-the-nsch/NSCH) In this Help & Hope interview, Jessica Thompson, author of How to Help Your Teens with Anxiety, talks to Sharon Betters about some of the root causes of anxiety and offers practical tips for how parents can get their kids talking about anxiety and how they come alongside of their children during their teen years.Support the show

Did you know that only 12 percent of child sexual abuse is ever reported to the authorities and fewer than 4 in 10 rapes are reported to the police? Additionally, 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused before they turn 18. These numbers include people in our local churches. In this Help and Hope resource Sharon Betters and Ellen Dykas discuss these horrifying statistics in the context of how the church can help create an environment where abuse victims feel safe and helped. This is not an easy topic to discuss nor is it easy to hear, especially if you are a victim of sexual abuse. But it is imperative that we hear from people like Ellen who are passionate about going into the dark places with the light of Jesus and inviting others to go with her to offer the hope and help only Jesus gives.Support the show

All of us face choices every day, but some face life-changing choices much earlier than others. Jonathan Gonzalez lived with painful circumstances throughout his childhood that forced him to take on adult decisions far sooner than he was ready. When Jonathan was seventeen years old, everything changed. In this conversation with Chuck Betters, Jonathan describes the horrifying accident that left him bleeding out in the backseat of a car. In desperation he prayed a prayer that would change everything.Support the show

Have you ever been away from home and all you wanted was to go home, to your familiar surroundings, you family – your bed? You feel homesick. In this conversation with Sharon Betters Elyse Fitzpatrick describes how a difficult time in her life resulted in her longing for something more. She concluded she was homesick for heaven. Elyse helps us better understand how a biblical view of heaven can be a source of great comfort when life turns upside down. She encourages us to learn more about our eternal destination, just as we would if we were planning a visit to another country. Rather than eating grapes and being fanned by angels during an eternal worship service, Elyse paints a picture of a perfected earth, a real, physical place that we will explore and enjoy with real bodies in a world where there is no more sickness, death or tears.Support the show

“I end every day feeling defeated because I lost my temper with my kids, vowing tomorrow will be better, but it usually isn’t.”“I don’t want my kids to be “less than” their friends. I also want them to stand out as college applicants. But I don’t think I can keep up with this schedule of activities. They are ages 5 & 9.”“Whenever my child fails at something, I’m the one who feels guilty and judged.”“When is it my turn? I look forward to an hour of quiet time after the kids are in bed and no matter how hard I try, something robs me of my time”Christina Fox addresses these parenting concerns and much more in this conversation with Sharon Betters and Melissa Weisenfels. How can good parenting motives turn into idols? What should we do when we discover that our motives for doing good things for our kids just might be wrong? Christina is the author of Idols of a Mother’s Heart and numerous other books and articlesSupport the show

Against the backdrop of the Sonoran Desert, Lynne Hartke asks her own hard questions as cancer arrives like a thief. As Lynne wrestles with a tumble of tangled emotions, a shaken faith, and self-doubt cancer is now not only threatening her own life, but, in a surprising twist, the lives of both her parents as well.In this conversation with Sharon Betters, Lynne gives us a glimpse into her journey to understand God’s ways as well as a picture of how the legacy of faith passed on to her by her parents helped her experience God’s love and presence in the darkest of times. Lynne encourages us to know we are never alone, no matter how desolate the desert may feel and we are never forgotten by our Father in Heaven.Connect with Lynne at Lynnehartke.comhttps://www.amazon.com/Under-Desert-Sky-Redefining-Hardest/dp/0800727746Support the show

A diagnosis of dementia in a loved one is frightening. Many spouses and family members face a “long goodbye” as they walk this pathway with their loved ones. In this interview Sharon Betters asks Dr. John Dunlop, author of Finding Grace in the Face of Dementia, to define dementia, the stages of dementia, what it is like to care for a loved one with dementia, and more. Dr. Dunlop’s compassion and passion for equipping and caring for older people comes through in his responses. He reminds us that every person is made in the image of God and that truth needs to be the grid through which we view those with dementia and the kind of care we give.Support the show

Did you know that every year about 100,000 men are widowed? Though a widow’s grief is just as deep as a widower, men often respond differently to the loss of their wives. In this moving conversation Dr. Chuck Betters talks with Dr. Jim Myer who lost his first wife. Jim shares the story of his family’s sorrow and cautions listeners that though someone who is broken might look whole on the outside, grief and depression might be ever present companions. Jim describes the depression he experienced and how his journey produced in him a passion for offering help to others who are grieving. Jim also shares how the Lord is redeeming his pain through his marriage to Kathy.The website for The Discipleship Counseling Resource (DCR) is:http://poconoefc.org/?page_id=597Support the show

When Marissa Henley learned on the day before she turned 34 that she had a rare form of a deadly, aggressive cancer, her first thoughts were of her young children. Would she live long enough to take her youngest to kindergarten. Her diagnosis sent her on a journey to find the best treatment which meant long separations from her family. In her book, Loving Your Friend Through Cancer, Marissa weaves her story in the context of how to walk with a friend through the battle of her life. Marissa equips us to not only know how to respond practically but how to better understand the questions and fears of a cancer fighter. In her conversation with Sharon Betters, also a cancer survivor, Marissa gives listeners a taste of the treasures in her book and her passion for equipping those who love cancer fighters to walk with them in the battle for their lives.Support the show

When Lovette told her mother she was pregnant, her mother dragged her to an abortion clinic despite protests and tears. A few months later, Lovette was again pregnant, and though she cried, she followed the routine and returned to the abortion clinic. In this conversation with Sharon Betters Lovette shares her story with hopes her journey into healing will help other women avoid the pain and grief she experienced after her abortions. Not only will the woman struggling to recover from an abortion receive hope from Lovette’s words, listeners will be better equipped to help a friend who faces a crisis pregnancy.Support the show

We’re all waiting for something. It might be a spouse or a baby. It might be healing or a home. Regardless of what we're waiting for, it’s easy to feel discontent when things aren’t going as planned and our dreams are delayed—especially when questions of 'Why?' and 'How long?' remain unanswered. In her conversation with Sharon Betters, Betsy Childs Howard reminds us that God uses seasons of waiting to teach us patience and make us more like Himself. Yet there is an even greater treasure to be found in our waiting rooms. Sanctification is not the only purpose God has in mind. When we wait faithfully with unmet longings, we become a powerful picture of the bride of Christ waiting for the day when he returns and God’s kingdom reigns. (Seasons of Waiting – Walking by Faith When Dreams are Delayed by Betsy Childs Howard)Support the show