Jaded Views

Jester is back and something is nagging Rampage as Episode 24 deals with the superiority of the North Koreans. More important than that, why are those chaps with funny hats arresting potential bus passengers, a man after Rampages own heart when it comes to revenge, and how has that man Ronaldo upstaged the Inaugural YAC, Leonal Tax Fraud? This, more, and maybe some sanity, ooooon Jaded Views. jadedviews@hotmail.com

This week we welcome Jester back to the show, but more important where is ACDC? Rampage has a issue with an Manhattan apartment block, and finds out Magento and friends have apparently fallen on hard times. Melonz has a fetish with Lady Boys for the 3rd episode running and presents his new game show 'BanCoq' Join us for your weekly hour(ish) of chaos and unstructured discussion, its Jaded Views. jadedviews@hotmail.co.uk

Mr Walter Melons has put a lot of effort into this bumper episode than ever before, It breaks our hour limit and goes nearly 2 hours! 2 hours of classic Jaded Views action. AND THATS NOT ALL; this is merely PART ONE of TWO parts this week!!! Tonight, what have Tony and Jester been doing in a dirty kebab shop? What has melonz been doing in a doctors surgery? Who is the biggest women ever to stand still on a stage? This, more, Phone CALLS, EMAILS! JADED VIEWS is here. Jadedviews@hotmail.com

This week! Which car company builds ships? After a friends wedding Tony has much discuss of a friends of a show's soon to be wife, and their shared vegetarianism. Who is falsely advertising lamb kebabs containing chicken? Who owns the sun? and Why are they sueing EBAY? Tony doesn't care, because he's staking a claim? Why did Melonz upset a car salesmen today? What does a 95 year old man with a zimmerframe, and Shawshank have in common? And our token retard story involves a short bus. What time is it? its time for Jaded Views!!!! jadedviews@hotmail.com

In this bumper show; Melonz gets behind the wheel of this episode and in a slightly intoxicated state, He discusses a recent story of a German (Would have to be German) who is advising people on the correct method of pushing out a stool, Apparently you! Your Mum, Your Jewish neighbour and the world are doing it wrong! Plus a council clean up team who attempt to clean a hoarders house only to find a decomposing corpse, lovely… And a mad women who tries to kill two children using a steak knife!!! a STEAK KNIFE!!! Not a Chef’s knife or even a pairing knife! A STEAK KNIFE! All this and…….well were not really to sure, the rest is a bit of a blur….. Put on your headphones and put your cock back in your trousers…. and enjoy some Jaded Views, unless you enjoy to listen with your cock out then please…..carry on!

Sir Tony Rampage is large and in charge of Episode 19, finding a mass of variety of darkness in the world. A Conservative MP has raised some eye brows as he suggests using the Guillotine to dispose of disabled children. Melonz tries to resist getting out his Penis as Rampage shows him pictures of a Hot up and coming “sexy” down syndrome model. It would take a lot of Vodka to smash her, but it wouldn't take as long with FAKE vodka that was found being sold by a local store near to the Melonz Studio. Hungry after all that dodgy booze then you better not head to a Nigerian Flesh Eating Restaurant, as you may get a kebab made out of labia and gouch. Rampage also discusses his time away in York and this is the first show with Listener Email!! Grab a ball bag sandwich and the finest glass of Czech Vlad Vodka and enjoy some Jaded Views. Get in touch at Jadedviews (at) hotmail (dot) com

Do you like wrestling? Ever wondered what finishing move you would use on a 4 Year Old? Do you enjoy Handicap Pornography? Do you have a certain soft spot for the deaf and there strange sexual noises! YES, YOU SAY?!?! Well your in luck as this is the episode you have been waiting for from the very start (seriously how in gods name did we end up here?) Melonz talks about his most recent holiday to Norfolk and a very strange pattern that appears with all the people who live there. The hosts also speak of a dirty 19 year old and his paedophile tendency's. A Gran who finds a bag of coke in her healthy granola bar. Plus a pregnant women (well it wouldn't be a man.....) who enjoys eating rock. No not the sugar kind, or the Dwayne Johnson kind. Actual ROCKS!! Take it easy, with a glass of sleazy and lets get this show started. Jadedviews@hotmail.com

The deadly duo are back for yet another episode of your hourly fix of jibber jabbas. Is there a pattern to the type of people who work at EVERY KFC? Did the very hot cashier over salt Melonz Chicken? Do guys with pony tails like to have sexual relations, with dogs? Plus! the discount supermarket Aldi have a new interesting way for you to have FIVE a day! An argument ensures over the price of C, and how (donate money) to market said product at the best possible price. Sleeping petrol station attentants beware! as the chaps look at a gent who decided to use this golden opportunity to steal a frozen treasure chest but if only the (donate money) FAKE police force had been on his tail, All this and, AND, Jaded Views attempts to get the most religious man in the world, no, notCliff Richard, the White curtain wrapped, wizard staff weilding, pointy hat magican...THE POPE on the telephone. So, Grab a beer for this bumper phone call episode, of JADED VIEWS. Email us at JadedViews@hotmail.com Follow us on Stitcher as

Melons presents this show, this time out we have, Phone Fight (MAC ATTACK)! Duct tape IGUANAS!!!! a girl who seeks her former lover via gumtree. To red for school? ALL THIS, MORE AND BEAM! Its a Melons show, you know what that means, jump right in this is Jaded Views! Jadedviews@hotmail.com

I had a description and now its gone, please accept this replacement... There has been a loss in the Jaded Views team, and it is revealed what has, this being a odd numbered episode that means this is a Rampage episode, he discussed and stays on topic this week, a LOCAL teacher who playing "play with my dog", a LOCAL manager who torches his FIREPROOF office, Barcalona school crossbow murder, this that and more on Jaded Views Jadedviews@hotmail.com

The hosts are disturbed virtually immediately on the show as 2 Chavs in a Chav Chariot with a Chav Cannon park outside the studio for no god dam reason. Rampage users the opportunity to broadcast this live before the "Meat" of the show is discussed, Food related of course (Pun Game Is Strong) A Crisp addict eats a 3 year old packet of crisps, then users his compensation money to buy yet more out of date crisps. For some reason the Team Rocket theme is sung in a drunken state. An Italian grandmother try's to kill off her entire family as well as her self using 25 year old hot chocolate as the weapon of choice and one student gets a few extra greens in his bag of salad as he is not alone! PLUS! A bonus topic that is so good you have got to stick around for it "TIMMY!!" And we may have also suggested you donate money to the podcast........... Although its not said very often, ok maybe about 40 times... but who's counting **SHORT BUS BINGO** The gauntlet has also been laid down, there is a unicorn short

Better Late than Never, Rampage address the lateness of the show (while wasted and in a deep place) and the audio takes a turn for a worse, this is the 13th Elephant, I mean episode, but here we go! 13 is unlucky for some but not 2 the hosts of the most Jaded Podcast. However, Rampage explains how he very well could have become a 7 fingered person in a freak accident with a Baked Bean Tin Lid. Melonz lowers the tone by trying to describe the smell of burning flesh. A mother in law manages to murder someone from beyond the grave, using the very headstone to commit the act. A Breaking story is discussed on the show live, were a man and his Pet Rock have been doing something very naughty indeed. A centurion aged man gets a bit to choppy with his wife and to top it all off, a Chinese lumberjack (2 words that should never belong together) has had sexual intercourse with an alien which appears to be the mascot of a tire company. Plus a whole lot more in your hourly fix of podcasting goodness.

Not Full of shit in terms of content, although that is up for debate. Oddly Melonz has come up with a list of stories that all revolve around the sticky substance in some context or another. So just like episode 11, Melonz takes the rains for this one! An elderly women has been terrorizing a small posh British village with placing her stools anywhere and everywhere. A prankster vandalizes (improves) a bus stop by installing a full working bathroom suite and a fat women isn’t allowed to take a shit in her local Burger King. Plus the hosts talk about there personal experiences of almost calling it short! Grab a beer of two and take it easy because this is a good one! Jaded views, bullshit never sounded so good!

Sir Rampage is back to good health and has decided to do some pre-show planning. So, Melonz has decided that Rampage is to take the lead role with this one. Rampage discusses wrestlers with aids as well as Fat Raven's jiggling gut. A Vicars son who was on a mission to do something freaky with 2 of every animal....ok maybe thats a lie, its just a dog but these things can escalate, quickly. British Politics season has begun with a look at the awful Labour party leader and to top it all off, a kill bill inspired BREAKING NEWS is discussed on the show. Sit back, Relax and enjoy your weekly hour of, Jaded Views JadedViews@Hotmail.com

Jaded Views strikes back delivering the shocking news of Rey Mysterio Jr killing a fellow wrestler with his patent, 619. Rampage is ill, Melons discuss the Retard Circus, and the fabled Andrex Peado Advert is finally discussed many many episodes after it was said we would. Stay Tuned for more, oooooon Jaded Views. jadedviews@hotmail.com

In this weeks installment Rampage talks of the horrors of a potential Car Jacking. The Hosts talk briefly on vegetarians and if it is suitable to serve a meat based gravy. Chomp, Melonz tells of a story from the lands of Mother Russia, were Homeless hammer attacks result in not getting the correct meat in your favorite Saturday night kebab. Crunch, Melonz also puts on a very convincing homosexual accent after a Mother gave birth to her Gay Son's Child....Confused? Snap, So were we! So sit back and enjoy another content filled EXTENDED episode. Rustle, Yep that’s right we broke the hour barrier on this one. On Jaded Views. JadedViews@hotmail.com @Anthony_Rampage

The Boys have finally been reunited after several episodes but first Melonz has a few things he needs to get off his chest. Melonz finds a story of a rat man who enjoys smelling moist ladies seats, Sexual fetishes are glazed over to accommodate this human beings behaviour. The show is invaded by Bacon rashers which are in fact not bacon rashers at all! More alarmingly Rampage talks of a friend who had encountered a secret homosexual heavy petting ring. PLUS SHORTBUS BINGO Is here! Melonz lets you know how you can get involved in this family friendly game! All this and a lot more.....We actually mean that to for a change! In your hourly fix of Jaded Views.

Sir Tony Rampage is joined by guest host Jester in this weeks hour long Jaded Views. Walter Melonz is no longer missing but still misses this show. On tonights program, Jester and Rampage pay tribute to Sir SPOCK who died over the weekend, they discuss news within 12 minutes of it breaking. They break down the hyped final boxing 'Superfight' of Mayweather vs Paquicao and Jesters YAC of the week hits both guys where they live. Stay Tuned for more, ooooon Jaded Views.

Sir Anthony W Rampage goes it alone as Walter Melonz is MISSING! MISSING?!? MISSING! In a bite sized show Sir Tony discusses 'Play Something Dancy' by Dee Simon, reveals a SHOCKING entry to the YAC segment, Better Call Saul, yep thats covered, and his perferred method for faking his death. Further, Sir Tony tries to bribe Melonz to return to the show, and unleashes the song of the month for the first time, ever.

The most technical issue plagued show is back with even more technical difficulties! The most Jaded UK Podcast, Hosted by the 2 most Jaded UK Podcrafter's discuss the recent televised Superbowl. In an attempt to try and understand why our cousins over the pond, the yanks, find it so damn good. Melonz being the Wikipedia of useless information, breaks down why calling "American Football" "Football" is physically incorrect, logically incorrect, factually incorrect and politically incorrect. Rampage comes to the conclusion that after several hours of Super Bowl viewing he has no idea what happened. And with all the above come to the conclusion they would be the perfect guest commentators for a game. Plus Beam gets shelved for an episode as Rampage's commitment to stop clearing his throat every 22 seconds has resulted in Jagermeister joining the fray. All this and, well... not a lot else in episode 5 of your hourly fix of Bullshit.