Preston Moore: Thoughts, Attitudes & Behaviors

Heather Parady - from a 5th grade education to street ministry then remedial classes at a community college to a masters degree in counseling and mental health. Heather is unconventional and loves every minute of it! So much so, she started a podcast called the Unconventional Leaders Podcast. Here she explores the unconventional aspects of leadership and what sets people apart. Heather has had huge guests such as Seth Godin, author of the Purple Cow, and Jack Canfield, author of Chicken Soup for the Soul. I met Heather by following the #mentalhealth on Instagram. I was pleasantly surprised by the fact that Heather considers her daily exercise routine part of the mental health routine. It may sound obvious because there are studies that show exercise can be as good as some psychiatric medications. However, I have to say, I wasn’t expecting that answer. On this episode, Heather shares some things she’s never shared before on a podcast. We explore the intricacies of Mental Health, her experience being raised in

"Imagine, standing on the side of the highway, covered in blood, and thinking about how you are going to tell your mother you killed someone?" Angela was one of the very first interviews I ever had and due to my high-level tech skills, I couldn't figure out how to get the audio off of my wife's computer and onto the podcast.  Well my friends, here it is... FINALLY!  I also must say, I fan boy'd out a bit with Angela because her podcast, Addiction Unlimited, was the first recovery podcast I ever listened to so I felt as if I was meeting a celebrity! Angela grew up in Kansas City and bolted for California as soon as she got the chance.  She couldn't wait to get out of her hometown and away for those people she felt so apart from... she always just felt different than everyone else.  California was an adventure.  She tended bar all over LA, had an apartment in Hollywood, and enjoyed an amazing lifestyle partying up and down the Sunset Strip for a decade.  Eventually, she was ready f

Trauma and Addiction Therapist, EMDR Specialist, Mother, Survivor, and valuable resources in Columbus Ohio.  Sarah has helped me tremendously with learning about trauma.  Specifically, helping me understand that traumatic experiences can be as simple as being scared of the dark as a child or witnessing your parents argue to more extreme examples like being abused in a relationship or experiencing combat as a military veteran.  In the most simple of ways, Sarah describes Trauma as, "anything that happens to us that causes our brain to go into survival mode."  You can never be sure how someone will interpret a life experience.  To one person, an experience can be nothing more than a blip in their day and to another, it can a memory imprinted in their mind as something that changed their life forever.  Even more interesting, looking into the role of generational trauma and how the traumatic experiences of your ancestors still influence our thoughts and feelings today.  Sarah is

I went LIVE on Instagram Saturday to share what I realized after a conversation with my wife and being considerate of their time.  I had a podcast interview scheduled from 11-1 today and they rescheduled.  The person gave me a heads up so it wasn't a surprise. So I told Sarah, "if he reschedules, I'll do some work anyway."  What transpired was this. My buddy rescheduled, I got a late start, and decided that instead of spending 2 hours working, I would spend 3.  Nothing wrong here, right?  Sarah made a comment that I'm not very good at sticking to my time frames.  Again, nothing wrong with that.  However, when I sat down to journal, out of nowhere I wrote, Shes right!  I have prided myself on being a "go with the flow" kind of guy.  Not a ton bothers me and I'm quite happy to make no plans and see where the day takes us.  However, knowing what I know about how thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors can show up vs what is lying just below the surface can be miles ap

Trait 2: We became approval seekers and lost our identity in the process.  Trait 3: We are frightened by angry people and any personal criticism. Oh boy, these are some goodies!! I've been an approval seeker all my life.  If I could get you to like me or if I could get you on my side, then, I would feel safe.  The problem was, I had to become a chameleon just to fit, and in turn, eventually lost my identity.   When it comes to angry people, I had an odd thing that I would do that kept me in a familiar shame cycle.  In an effort to be liked and make sure people wouldn't get angry, i.e. so I could feel safe, I would try and befriend guys that has a reputation with getting angry.  Then, when they turned on me, I would be forced to back away with my tail between my legs because I was terrified of fighting.  I was always confused by why it kept happening to me however, I've recently realized, I created it all for myself! If you know someone that could benefit from hearing somethi

For every trait we talk about in this series, there is also an opposite that is often, just as powerful.  For example, Trait 1: We became isolated and afraid of people and authority figures.  Although we may be afraid of people and authority figures, we may also be authority figures that use fear to intermediate people in our family or people we manage.  I also share how this trait has shown up in my life.  In many ways, I have actually set up my life unintentionally and intentionally to reinforce this fear and issue with authority figures.   Even if you don't identify with these traits at first glance, I would encourage you to listen to this series with an open mind.  You may be surprised at what may come up for you. 

Multipart series that addresses the family, codependency, and emotional sobriety.  A journey through parts of the Big Red Book of ACA, Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families.  I used to hear old-timers say in meetings, "the longer I stay sober, the narrower the path gets."  I didn't understand what they meant at the time.  All I was focused on early in my recovery was, staying away from the substances that drove me to the 12 step rooms and how much clean time everyone had.  Things were simple, go to meetings, work the steps, talk to your sponsor, read recovery literature, be of service, and no matter what... DO NOT USE DRUGS OR DRINK ALCOHOL, one day at a time!  I never really heard people talk about "Emotional Sobriety."  Partly because of the fellowship I was in. We treated the word "sober" as a word that shall remain unspoken.  Also, because when there are new people in the room, focusing on their addiction is the most important part.  We have a

Oh, this could get interesting!   I had my wife, Sarah, on the podcast.  Anytime I think about having her on as a guest, I get nervous.  She brings a TON of value, helps a lot of people and many identify with her... but oh do I worry that we are going to get into a fight, lol!  We are both on a recovery path, love personal development, and self-reflection, but we often come at it from totally different angles.  When squeezed, I have a tendency to defend, push back and rebel... and our relationship is no different.  We bicker, I wind her up, we debate (maybe just "I" debate!) and our home can be a landmine of character defects.  It's also quite possible that the landmines are allll mine!  On the other hand, there is also a lot of peace, recovery, spirituality, and growth in our home.  Sometimes, she's leading the way, and sometimes it's me.   I could not be happier with where we are in life at the moment.  Yet, the insidious thing about my dis-ease, which

How often do you look at someone's post on Facebook or Instagram and say to yourself, "man, they really have a great life... or family... or great... whatever."  "If I just had that car... then... everything would be OK!" "Man, if I just had a six-pack and a full head of hair, my life would be totally different!" Intellectually, most people also know that social media is just a highlight reel of the great things in people's life.  However, it doesn't change that little pang in the gut that one gets when they tell themselves they don't match up.  Comparison and judgment is a killer! Whether you are the type to beat yourself up or the one who lashes out at others, these two defects can wreak havoc on our emotions.  I tend to index towards the middle, not totally believing most things I see and hear online or read in books.  Not that I'm a conspiracy theorist or pessimist, I just think that offen, the truth falls somewhere in the middle.  Most things usually aren't as good or as bad as you think they are. This a

Michael "Sweets" Wilson has a story similar to many. They start using drugs at an early age, their arrests get more and more serious causing them to bounce back-and-forth from prison to society and back. Michael was no exception, he started to believe that maybe he was an animal, meant to be locked up in a cage. Then, something happened. Maybe it was fate, the thought of his children growing up without a father, the disappointment from is family. Michael decided to give it one last shot. Today, he has over 10 years clean and sober, he and a partner in a recovery house, he’s an interventionist for families struggling with addiction and even has a podcast called, ”Collateral Damage”. He also has a book called, Loving Lions, that you can get on Amazon. We cover all of my favorite topics, anonymity, medically assisted treatment, Twelve-step work, building community, and everything else we could squeeze in. On this episode, Michael tells his story, how he went from the bottom of bottoms to the top of the top. How

Is it God’s will or my will? Am I being driven by my higher power, or is it just my self-centered thinking? These are ultimately the questions we are taught to ask in recovery and in many spiritual circles. Even those that don’t believe in a higher power, ask similar questions like, what is the right thing to do in this moment? Or, is this decision selfless or selfish? All are attempts to get out of our own way and make better decisions for ourselves and others. However, what I've come to find out is, I can also use questions like these in an attempt to manage, manipulate, control and avoid responsibility. Sometimes, when I ask the question, is it Gods will or my will, what I really want is for my HP to just give me the answer so I don't have to worry about making the wrong decision. Or, I just want my fear, stress and anxiety to go away and I blame it on the struggle to find what God’s will is for me. Where I often find challenge is in the area between planning for the future, setting goals, having aspiratio

How often do you find yourself defending something that doesn’t even matter? Simply, because you’re caught in the moment? I find myself there often; defending my behavior, my view, my intentions, my parenting, my food, my space and even my defects of character... All in an effort to ”not be controlled or told.” When I’m caught in the grip of my ego, fear and insecurity, I’ll defend it to the death... Metaphorically of course! On this episode, I cover my thoughts inspired by a video I watched on youtube called ”Wayne Dyer Speech According to the Tao” - definitely, look it up! He covers life as an unfolding, detaching from the outcome, and resisting the instinct to control everything around us. In our lives, our relationships and our recovery path, it is our responsibility to seek our true motivation. What is it that is really causing us to feel this way, to act in this manner or to defend this position? Virtually everything I talk to you about is for me... I need to hear it, I need to do it and I need the remi

I’ve been thinking a lot about the conversation I had with Adam, which I talked about on episode 65. He pointed me back to the big red book, ACA’s version of the big book. Finally it clicked. I’ve been looking for a through line to help connect a better understanding of those struggling with alcoholism, drug addiction and mental health. One of the examples I came up with were around food. Everyone has some experience or another with trying to stop eating so much, cutting out sugar or other junk food and/oror getting on and off of diets. A lot of the behavior is similar. Obsession, compulsion, failure, relapse, shame, guilt and the list could go on. On this episode, I share the five most common characteristics of the Dysfunctional family that identify with this material yet, they didn’t have anybody in their household growing up that drank or did Illicit drugs. Common feelings and characteristics that come from children from this background are abandonment issues, shame, guilt, intimacy issues, perfection issu

Paul is one of my favorite peeps to talk about life, relationships, and all things recovery. We cover intricacies in life that can only come from a wide array of experience, both good and ugly. Not only do I love that he is deep in a 12 step fellowship that directly addresses narcotics, but also, that he has opinions on the outside issues I love to talking about; anonymity, medically assisted treatment, Suboxone, methadone, all inclusive drug use, marriages, rehab, insurance and Pop culture. Although neither one of us represent any 12 step fellowship I find it moving to have the ability for outsiders to get a peek behind the curtain. ♥️ Love you brother. HEY YO!, if you like this podcast or have been listening for a while and have not told your friends the people you care for about it, what are you waiting for! Share that Jawn (Philly slang for people, places or things, including podcasts!) ♥️ Preston

I don’t like setting New Years resolutions so this year, I set some intentions. Here’s an update. Also, I’ve backed into a major change recently. Here’s how I did it.

One of the most valuable lessons I have to learn over and over again is, life is full of contradiction. What worked at one point in my recovery doesn't work anymore. Things that never bothered me before, now bother me. Things that were not negotiable before, have been negotiated... A number of times. All these ideas, situations and opinions I would have sworn to be true are... Well... It's complicated! I had a great conversation with the Executive Director of the Save A Warrior Program (SAW) out of Newark Ohio. They have a 4 day retreat for Military and First Responders who's sole intention is to eliminate suicide in that population. He was such an interesting guy and inspired me to reflect on my own daily recovery. In this episode, I share the areas that I've called into question and what I plan on doing about it. If you know someone struggling with mental health and suicidal thoughts, please reach out. We'd love to help.

If you struggle with the disease of addiction or alcoholism, this shut down must be doing a number on your recovery. I think back to my early recovery and realize how heavily relied on meetings and community. Having that taken away would’ve been a major challenge. A friend of a friend overdosed this past weekend and it really puts in perspective the types of things I worry about. How important is it really!? In this episode I talk about what the real solution for addiction recovery, what it looks like and how extreme the changes may have to be. I think people would be shocked at how many life changes someone has to make in order to set themselves up for success in recovery. Also talk about replacement therapy and the direction the medical community seems to always turn; Here’s a pill that will fix it. I would love to hear from you. What do you think about this topic in this perspective?

One of the baddest men on the planet got arrested last week for the 3 time. Although I would agree he is making some terrible decisions, the on thing no one is talking about, at least not with any real knowledge about it, is... that man qualifies to go to the meetings I go to. Cunning, baffling, powerful and insidious... it will leave you wondering, yet again, how did I get here!? What do you think?

During this wild shutdown, which many are experiencing for the first time, uncertainty can rule the day. I find myself swinging from one end of the spectrum to the other, either we’re all overreacting to, man this shiz is kind of serious! I’m grateful that for the first time in 20 years, I’m not working for straight commission and that my job has been deemed essential. So, I have a good chance of not being laid off. Working for a mental health hospital brings into reality how many people have to put themselves and their families on the front lines while we figure this out. I also feel for those struggling with addiction and that are new in recovery. I went to a meeting every day for 5 years early in my recovery. I’m not sure how it would have effected me going from intimate, in person meetings to isolation and virtual meetings. However, I know one thing for sure, when pressed and squeezed, most people will figure it out. We always figure it out and it’s almost never as bad as we imagine it to be in our heads.

So often I sit in these team meetings with kids, their parents and whoever is trying to make a mental health or addiction recommendation and it’s as if we’re fighting an uphill battle. What happens is, the parent ends up answering all the questions for the kid and then decides what they're willing to do and not willing to do with the recommendations. The results leave the kids feeling like they aren't capable of communicating how they feel, what's going on or to even take ownership in their treatment. It also makes it challenging to accomplish the thing everyone really wants, including the parent, which is to get the kid the help they need. It reminds me of when new people come into 12 step recovery rooms and say, I’m desperate, I need help, I’ll do anything and then they proceed to tell everyone that they’re only willing to do about half of what’s being recommended. To be fair, changing everything is hard and intimidating. Most people are trying to navigate what all they really have to change... it surly doe